Monday, August 22, 2005

One Tree Hillx



I DON'T WANNA BE -GAVIN DEGRAW

I don't need to be anything other
Than a prison guard's son
I don't need to be anything other
Than a specialist's son
I don't have to be anything other
Than the birth of two souls in one
Part of where I'm going, is knowing where I'm coming from
I don't want to be
Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn
Am I the only one who noticed?
I can't be the only one who's learned
I don't want to be
Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
Can I have everyone's attention please?
If you're not like this and that, you're gonna have to leave
I came from the mountain
The crust of creation
My whole situtaion-made from clay to stone
And now I'm telling everybody
I don't want to be
Anything other that what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
I don't want to be


Buzz!!! Buzz!! Hakhak..macam giler men YM pulak aku. Rasenye last week ade la men YM nieh (kot? ntah x ingt). Itupon kejap jek, sbb mase tuh ade mende nak buat pakai internet tak lepas la pulak. Huhu. Chatting ngan sape ek...hmm..tak ramai ler. Aku, kalo bukak YM pon offline. Maleh melayan org yg tah sape2. Layan Yati boleh la, kan Yati? Pastuh nak layan lemak kang aku wisau die sempot. Ape2pon sumenye hanyelah kenangan la kawan2. No more chatting la..nak taknak kenalah mengorbankan fon...huhu.


Kenape ceria sgt arinieh ek? Salah satu sbbnye sbb Liverpool menang game minggu lepas la. Walopon game tak best tp menang jugak. The 2nd one sbb Lemak reply email aku...yeayy..(kesian ko kena panggey lemak..hehhe). To my dearest lemak, thanx a bunch sbb balas email aku n thanx for ur help. Aku tak kisah la format 90'an ke 20'an. Sbnrnye to be honest aku sniri takut nak buat resume tuh lemak. Aku tgk cth2 resume sume menakutkan la...detail sgt la pulak. Aku pon tak reti nak wat detail sgt sal diri aku nieh, sungguhpon aku slalu taip blog dgn sgt detail, tp tuh detail cerite kat kowang la...detail resume aku rase macam segan...terrifying! Bile aku tgk life dlm idup berniaga nieh (nak wat cmne, biz student)...byk hipokrasi aku dah tgk dpn mate. Bkn kat company nieh la (kalo ade pon aku pedulik ape, kan)...tp org2 yg berhubung. Kadang2 rase macam geli pulak nak bercakap ngn certain2 org, lg2 org2 tua lelaki nieh. Tp gua kena maintain la...nak buat cmne pintu rezki nieh. So, creating resume is sumtimes menggelikan aku laa...lagik2 bab2 nak angkat bakul...adehaiii...malunyeee...;)


Keceriaan aku jugak disebabkan arinieh aku byk keje. Huhuhuhu...banyaaaakk...tp aku berjaye jugak menyetelkan keje yg ERWAN bg! Yes! Mase die smpai keje die sume dh abes. Tp biaselah, dh abes maknenye dpt la keje baru. Huhuhu. Tp takpe...asalkan aku dpt wat die sakit ati tgk keje dh siap...yeay..puasnye ati! Sbnrnye tak baik la aku buat die sakit ati agik..hehee..yelah, lately die sgtlah baik menolong aku, kan. Ckp pon dh reti nak baik2. Bagus aaa tuh! Tau takpeeeeee...jgn pakai redah jek. Aku rase kan, mungkin jugak sbb dh lame tak contact org Manjung nieh buat mood die baik la sket. Hahaha...kalo tak, ade jek hal tak puas ati ngan Cik Nazual tuh. Sejak kebelakangan nieh kena keje ngn Cik Shahila pulak, andalusia kat JKR Elektrik...hihi. Tp nampak gaye yg nieh die macam puas ati jek. Cume adelah warning aku, "awak kalo ckp ngn Cik Shahila tuh jgn panggil Puan pulak, die tuh Cik...walopon dh tua," Aku ape lagik! Gelakkan die puas2! " Nasib awaklah...arituh Cik Nazual, arinieh Cik Shahila...kehkeh...sumenye moody..kehkehkeh..." Gelak jgn tak gelak. Arituh mase before dinner aku call yg byk2 tuh die gelakkan aku. Skang aku gelakkan die. Misi balas dendam! Yeayyy..!!! (apasal skang aku makin setan ek...huhu)


Lagik satu...sbnrnye aku dh berbaik ngn Cik Kiah! Sepanjang weekend nieh aku cube memahami la ape yg die pkkan. And die pon cube amik ati aku. Yelah...lenkali marah la lagik Cik Kiah...macam la tak paham, kalo die marah aku akan senyap jek...nnt aku mogok laaaa..diam dan diam. Org becok macam aku, kalo tibe2 diam mmg mati akal. Tp aku rase baik diam jeklah. Diam bukan makne mengalah. Tuh Cik Kiah gak yg ajar. Bile aku buat kat die, die yg mati akal. Hehehe. Aku pi beli brg macam2 kat pasar malam Jumaat arituh, balik aku terus masak jek...huhu..last2 die pon tak reti nak marah dh. Kebetulan pulak wan call, ade surat sampai from SPA. Ntah dpt ntah tidak aku nieh! Tp adelah surat smpai. Cik Kiah terus tak ckp ape lagik. Hehehehe. Ari2 aku berdoa tak payah la aku senyap lame2 ngn mak sniri...seksa woo...One and only teman berbual, my besfren pulak tuh. Last2 diperkenankan jugak la. Pastuh, the next day aku masak Gulai Ayam, sayur sket ngn ngn prepare cincalok. Hmm..terus baik Cik Kiah. Besoknye die ajar aku masak kuah kacang, ikut resepi wan aku pulak. Last2 kat dapur jugak baiknye. Hehehe. Tak masuk lagi bile Liverpool punye game, kitowang jelah yg nak tgk game tuh. And bile tayang One Tree Hill...kitowang la yg over-excited, mak aku dgn Lucas(baju kelabu dlm gambar) nye...and aku as usual suke Nathan (baju itam)..hakhak..so, mulelah bising balik...


Tah brape kali mase aku duduk2 kat atas lantai, tibe2 ibu panggey nak tocang rambut aku. Hahahaha...utk org yg kenal aku sejak skolah rendah, sejak kecik...mungkin sedia maklum, aku tak pernah berambut panjang. Well, to be honest...dis is the 1st time. Aku ade hajat nak potong pendek balik rambut aku nieh, but...adik2 tak bg. Mungkin dh biase tgk aku macam nieh skang. Skang dh lepas dr paras bahu...kire2 dh terpakse ikat, bukan leh men lepas2 dah macam dulu. Back to the story...sebelum die tocangkan aku tuh kan, waktu tuh pagi. Die tibe2 tanye,


ibu: ayah tanye pasal tu..." (aku pandang ibu, die tak pandang aku pon...)
aku: tanye?
ibu: kenape skang kakak dah tak berkepit ngn henfon. Dulu mane2 pon bwk henfon. Weekends mesti ade pergi mane2. Tak masak2 macam dulu lagi. (pasal nieh rupenye!)
aku: ibu ckp ke?
ibu: ibu ckp la...dh tak ade lagi. Tp ayah tanye kenape.
aku: ckp ke?
ibu: tak ckp...penat ayah suh ckp, ibu tak ckp.
aku: nak ckp ape pon kan...
ibu: ibu kenalah ckp, itu hal budak2. Biar korang setel sniri. (aku diam jek la)
aku: ingatkan ayah tak pernah amik tau pon...
ibu: dia ade tanye sblm nieh...tp die ingt tak ade ape2. Ayah tuh risau..
aku: Nak risau ape...skarang kan org dh dok kat umah. Tak pergi mane2 dh. Ape2pon dh takde la die nak pk macam2.
ibu: Die lagik risau tgk ko macam nieh. (macam tak percaye ape aku dengar!)
aku: Kan okay je nieh..
ibu: Lagi risau bile ko taknak berboipren, asek keje. Ko asek pk sume org tak pk pasal diri ko. Pk org kat umah nieh sampai bile pun tak abis, kak.
aku: Org nieh taklah baik sgt, bu. Bkn tak fikir. Tp kite perempuan, buat ape nak mencarik...
ibu: Ayah risau ko macam ni smpai bile2...
aku: Umur pun br brape ni. Keje pon tak tetap lagi. Nk carik yg lagik elok. Nanti2 lah.. (kalo aku layan Cik Kiah pasal ni, takkan abis!)
ibu: Tp jgn tak fikir langsung...
aku: org percaye pade jodoh, bu. Kalo ade, macam mane pon kawen jugak, kan. Kalo takde, trime la qada' qadar Tuhan. Buat ape nak risau2 sgt... Kalo tak, macam nieh jelah. Byk lagi mende len dlm dunia nie...
ibu: Tgk tuh! Sbb byk mende len laa...takut besok umur pergi macam tuh je, kak..
aku: Taulah...hehe..nanti la. Takde mase!
ibu: Budak kat opis tuh elok tak? (melopong aku kejap)
aku: ntah la...taklah kate tak elok. Tp kalo suke, dr 1st time pandang dh rase suke...nieh ari2 pandang lagik tak suke adelah...(ibu gelak jelah...nak ckp ape. She knows me better. Die bukan taste aku!)


Mase aku tgh sibuk2 tgk nasik impit utk breakfast tibe2 masuk lagik conversation nieh...

ibu: die dah tak call lagi ke? (tak payah ckp siape "die" tuh...aku cukup paham)
aku: buat ape pon nak contact2 slalu2 lagi...
ibu: manelah tau... (same ade die rase aku berahsia, atau die mengharap...itulah ibu aku)
aku: kalo die hepi ngan keadaan macam nieh, biarlah. Org pun kena pk pasal diri sniri jugak, kan...
ibu: tak salah kan, kalo kawan je...
aku: takde ape yg salah...tp takkan org nak carik die. Org kan perempuan.Biarlah...dh lepas dh cerite nieh kan...(die diam agik...malas, aku tau...balik2 nieh jugak yg aku ckp!)


Aku tak sedar ntah bile...maybe ptg semalam. Bile mase aku tgh "ditocangkan" tibe2 die diam jek dr ckp2...Ntah kenape, aku rase nak pusing tgk die. Aku dh agak...nangis? Tuh sbb aku malas nak ckp ape2. Slame nieh aku diam jek la. Aku tak tunjuk reaction ape2 pon. Bile tanye, itu jek jawapan aku. Aku sniri dah malas nak pk mende nieh sume! Weekend nieh aku tgk byk cerite, ade pelakon famous, ade tak famous. Ade cerite2 yg aku tak tgk pon aku tgk. Cthnye Trek Selebriti- Siti Nurhaliza. Dpt tgk Siti secare terang2an sebut Dean Caine as Den Caine. Sebutan Deeeeeeeaaaannn jd macam Din. Hehehe. Aku tgk One Tree Hill, aku tgk bola...
Cerite2 yg aku tgk pulak (salah satu ceritenye ialah lakonan Din Ken...ahak!). Cerite pasal wedding planner yg asek dok matchmake tp tak pernah wat utk diri sniri. Tajuk die I Do (But) I Don't. I had to endure my mum staring at me bile luv quotes kuar dlm cerite tuh. Maybe nak tgk reaction aku. I can see she's so worried. At last aku paham sbnrnye nieh sume bukan pasal mende len..pasal mende nieh...


Dlm ati tuh marah aaa jugak. Dis thing isn't supposed to be complicated. Ibu yg terlalu berpk. Ayah pon! Tak disangke betul! But it is also isn't everyday I fell in luv. Knowing me, mak aku tau sgt ape aku nak buat lepas nieh. But dis is what I SHOULD do. Seriously, aku malas. Pls jgn mintak aku consider sape2 pon. It's been only two months jeee...belum 2 thn lagik. Carik duit dulu laa...sedut lemak dulu ke...hehehe... Kwn2 aku lepas abes blaja, pk nk kawen, ape salahnye aku jd yg belum nak kawen. Aalaaa...even ade boipren, belum tentu kawen kan...huh...lecehnye...! Apepon...skang aku nak abeskan keje laa...mls nak pk perkare remeh. Dh expired! Gambate Sha!

Jom lyn lagu soundtrack One Tree Hill nieh...hehe..best! Bo Bice nyanyi kat American Idol pon best gak!

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