Tuesday, December 20, 2005

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BECAUSE OF YOU -KELLY CLARKSON

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
.............(wait a few counts)..
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life
because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you


Takde ape sangat nak tulih....lately asek taip panjang...sure lenguh n teleng pale org yg nak membace...hehehe...takmo laa...kite minum dulu, k!

Sbnrnye nak tulih banyak pon tak byk mende dibuat lately nieh. Cume last weekend dok mengengkoh nak tgk bola...smpai bawak ke marah n merajuk....dh nangeh dh pon. Biaselah, bile team org len lwn, aku kena tgk...sebbaik aku jenis minat, so...tak kisah la. Tp bile team aku plak lawan....tak leh nak tgk. Aku nieh plak jenis yg tgk sume...dr komen awal...sampai komen abes...smpai hilites..preview....smpai discussion tuh pon aku tgk! Yg org nieh die tak suke tgk...aku takleh kate ape. Tp, die suke tgk @15...tuh yg aku jd angin. Obsessed lak ngan @15....geram tul aku lah. @15 tuh....utk pengetahuan yg tak tgk astro...ialah channel chat. Aku nieh pantang sket mende2 chat2 meraban nieh...sket2 bleh laa...kalo komuniti ke...len la cite. Tp kalo tgk cite kat @15 tuh...mmg nye merepek ajek. Kalo ade pon topik, merepek. Kalo ade pon org masuk...byk budak2. Aku pon leh jd kategori org tua kalo chatting kat situ. Dan paling aku haru...membazir duit! Nak jek aku disconnect astro tuh...kalo bayarkan utang aku pon lagik baik...taklah time aku susah aku terpakse minjam kat org...sape suke gitu!

Last2 aku amik pendekatan berkecuali jek la. Nak ckp, nnt aku macam kurang ajo. Aku nieh reti hormat. As usual...kalo aku dh marah...aku diam jekla...n wat bodoh. Aku malas nak jd bodoh melawan2. Kalo aku aku argue...pon tak gune jugak. Aku neih, kalo wat argument...adelah sbbnye. Bkn suke2 ati aku jek...Tapi for sure takkan diterime!

Aku mmg la kecik ati. Dlm mase brape lame nieh aku dh kecik ati. Sebbaik skang aku dh takde bf...so kecik ati aku makin kurang la bab itu. Dulu mase ade bf dah la tak considerate..kadang malu gak aku ngn bf aku...org len tak macam aku...mende yg dimintak tak boleh tangguh..dpn bf aku pon die mintak gak. Tgh2 aku dating pon die leh suh macam2. Aku tak kisah, aku obey sbb tanggungjawab..tp smpai bile? All I want is consideration...Sebbaik bf dulu taklah kisah, cume pernah jugak die tegur..kenape pelik sangat carenye. Dlm ati for sure nye die tak puas ati tgk keadaan aku...tgk die pon aku tau...

Ape jd ngan aku, tak pernah amik tau. Sumenye aku nak wat sniri. Mintak tolong pon...wat tak reti jek...nampak aku terkapai2...tapi tak pernah nak bertanye. Aku susah...tak pernah nak offer tolong. Aku usaha jek la ngan care aku....smpai kadang2 kering air mate...lepas tuh, aku kena marah pulak. Alasan? Tak suke aku lame kat luar, tak suke aku campur org....tak suke aku keje....Tp bile aku dpt results elok...bile aku ade duit...bile aku ade sumthing nak buat die bangge...baru die nak baik ngan aku....is dis life?

Aku tak pernah nak bercerite. For 23 years....dis thing had always been my sacrifices. Dr kecik smpai ke tua...aku hold...becuz ini maruah aku, maruah die...n it will be my biggest disappointment kalo aku bercerite. N...boleh ke org percaye? I tried once...when I tried to defend myself...But sadly, I got all the bullshits....aaahh...malas aku nak ckp ape2 dah!

Maybe like ibu said dis morning....dis is our lives...and we had to deal with it like we did before...so, teruskan...usaha lah..sampai mane satu ari nanti keutamaan aku bukan utk itu lagik...terime dgn redha, jgn merungut lagik (maybe, today is my biggest disappointment?), usaha berikan yg terbaik....n sayang selagik termampu. Jage maruah die, sbb maruah die bermakne maruah aku jugak... I can't prevent myself from hurting...dah lumrah idup!

For Puan Syariza's info...aku dh leh wat kek! On my 3rd attempt kek coklat aku dh jadik...cume nak bagi cantik2 lagik. Hehehe...

N then...semalam kan...aku tgk la Casa Impian yg Eric punye tuh...best giler! Die wat hall Zen Style....alamak...kerusi die mak aaaaiiihhh...warne krim..pastu die pakai buluh n cherry blossom (sakura) utk design...ade sakura paintings...pastuh ade wooden floor...warne earth color....ade lampu cantik...mmg mostly pakai cherry blossoms punye color n design...huwaaaaaa...!!!!My dream home...aku dh la minat Zen style nieh...punyelah spacious....cantik n simple! Sesuai la nak bagi laki ke pompuan tinggal...tapi aku paling suke skali kalo ade garden yg Zen style laaa....siap ade ikan....fountain...bamboo...ade pebbles...huuuuu...dreamy....dreamy....rase cam garden Last Samurai...hahahaha...Aku pernah tgk umah tuh dlm Anjung Seri...dah de dah org kat Mesia wat umah camtuh...haii...aku? Dok nak kais lagik...huhuhu...

Todays's blog posting is specially dedicated kat Yatmo....for all the support n luv she gave me...Yatmo...thanx my sis...sbb tak lupe contact no matter what. Susah2 pon still find ways? Thanx! Thanx for having me...Ingat lagik zaman susah aku Yatmo tumpangkan umah die..Liza pon...tido la bilik2 dowang nieh. Siap pinjam baju ngan sandal pon penah sbb aku tak lepas admin pakai jeans! Hehe. Liza nye PC tpt aku kenal ngan adik senior aku, si Aibob tuh...Yatmo...tpt men SIMs semalaman....hehe...Skang aku dh men 7Sins dah Yatmo...hehehe...gatal sket!

N mane leh aku lupe...waktu dah berbulan tahan air mate...last2 kat bahu Yatmo gak tumpahnye kan...Yatmo? Mase aku dah kembalik bujang...tasik tuh jugak la tpt aku dok nangeh ngan Yatmo. Aku rase kan...pondok tepi tasik tuh mmg tpt org nangeh aaa...Kak Sya pon nangeh situ...aku nangeh situ....ade dak2 len pon aku tgk nangeh situ...hahaha...

So, tak panjang jd gak panjang...poyo jek Cik Sha....here's for Yatmo...

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