Sunday, December 11, 2005

merajuk...membawa diri

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EMOTIONS -DESTINY'S CHILD

It's over and done

But the heartache lives on inside
And who is the one you're clinging to
Instead of me tonight?
And where are you now, now that i need you

Tears on me pillow, wherever you goCry me a river, that leads to your oceanYou'll never see me fall apart
In the words of the broken heart

It's just emotions that's taken me ever
Caught up in sorrow, lost in my soul
But if you will come back
Come home to me, darling
Don't you know there's nobody left in this world
To hold me tight
Dont cha know there's nobody in the world to kiss goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight
I'm there at your side,

A part of all the things you are
But you've got a part someone else
You've got to find your shining star
And where are you now?

Now that i need you
Tears on my pillow wherever you go
Cry me a river that leads to your ocean
You'll never see me fall apart
In the words of a broken heart

It's just emotions that's taken me over
Caught up in sorrow, lost in my soul
But if you don't come back
Come home to me, darling
Dont you know there's nobody left in this world
Hold me tight
Nobody left in this world kiss goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight
And where are you now, now that i need you?

Tears on my pillow wherever you go
Cry me a river that leads to your ocean
You never see me fall apart
In the words of a broken heart

It's just emotion that's taken me over
Caught up in sorrow, lost in my soul
But if you don't come back
Come home to me, darling
Nobody left in this world
To hold me tight
Nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight


Believe it or not, dis is the 1st real picture yg Cik Sha amik pakai digicam! Hahaha. Actually, nieh la 1st time aku dgn sukerelanye nak amik gambo pakai digicam. Slalunye, aku tak pernah willing nak blaja camne nak gune digicam pon since the cam was not mine. Yg nieh pon bkn aku punye jugak...org len punye...but, ntahlah! Tibe2 jek rase macam nak amik gambo the moment nampak scenery kat atas nieh...huhu..


Well, kat mane ek tpt kat atas nieh? Kat sini laaaaa arituh akhirnye Cik Sha membawe diri...hehe. Betul ke? Yup...exactly...tak tipu nieh! Betul2 ckp la!


One day, Su called ibu, kate nak jupe aku. Die ade keje kat Beranang, so dh dekat la dgn aku. So, lepas tuh, die dtg la umah. Die tanye ibu, boleh ke nak "pinjam" aku. Ayah pon ade. Aku dilepaskan. Yg best tuh, aku cam dak baik je pakai baju kurung (baik ke? ntahlah!). To be honest, even though sum people can say anything about the way I dress myself, aku nieh taklah pelupe sangat nak pakai baju kurung ke, or sumthing yg lebih descent than what I usually wear. Its just dat I dun wanna be a hypocrite...as far as I'm concern ape yg aku pakai setakat ini approved by my parents, my family and most of my frenz. Even mase pakai baju kurung nieh pon Su mmg senyum la...becuz mmg macam dak baik jek...hehe. But kalo ingt lagik, mase aku pernah taip blog nieh satu mase dulu. At dat time aku still blaja lagik. Aku bknlah sorang pemakai baju kurung yg regular...sampai sume course mate aku tegur la kelainan aku kalo tibe2 ade mood nak berbaju kurung. Well, whatever...I wear whatever pleases me and whatever pleases the parties I care about(e.g. my parents!). Whatever! Cume yg agak weird becuz aku pakai baju kurung, when Su nak abiskan final inspection die kat kilang tuh after office hour, n aku still nampak macam org baru balik keje dgn baju kurung aku yg pink itu. Huhu. So, aku tak masuk la warehouse...kang ape2 nak buat susah plak.


Mmg sangap la mase dok jek dlm kete. Penat pun iye time tuh...dh ptg katekan. So, macam nak titon jek...tp takut lak nak titon dlm kete sorang2. Last2, jage, nyanyi sorang2 dlm kete. Hehe. Dgr celoteh si Fara Fauzana, DJ fav ibu aku tuh lagik best. Bleh gak wat modal nak gelak sorang2. Hekhek. Bile lagik nak gelak kan...after all these months...bkn dpt nak gelak straight from the heart...Nk borak ngn Ayen, die p men bola. Yelah, org kalo tak ujan, men la bola. Cube kalo ujan, dok jek ontok2 kat umah. Dh die pi men bola, asah bakat nak jd Rooney...malas la aku nk ckp ape, kan! (Buuweeekkk...:P)So, last2 nyanyi n gelak...sorang...layaaaaann...


Mlm tuh, gi open house. Aku sbnrnye kalo ikutkan takmo ikut, tp kesian lak kat Su. Org tuh dhla org yg rekemen die dpt keje dulu. So, gi lah. Bahane nye kalo dh member dak Mech. Eng. ialah...mmg bidang die bidang laki! So, yg pompuan n yg bujang kt tpt keje si Su nieh adelah dirinye sniri. Nak masuk kat umah surveyor tuh, dh la ramai laki kat luar. Wife die kat dlm umah lak. Mmg segan aaa. Dh la cam dak baik jek style aku mlm tuh. (Yg paling penting takde kena mengena ngn tpt keje si Su!)Haha. Mane nye tak terkejut sume org mase kitowang smpai. Dua dak yg muke cam baik...smpai ke open house yg majority tetamunye lelaki! Smpai wife boss Su siap kaco kitowang lagik...yelah, setgh jam jek stay...pastu cepat2 nak balik! Tak kose aku nak stay lelame kat situ. Aku mungkin la bkn pompuan paling baik dlm dunie nieh, but tak reti aku nak beriye2 lak nak dok menebeng tpt yg sememangnye "vulnerable" utk kitowang stay. Tak lah segatal itu lagik diri Cik Sha nieh...
Balik2 tuh trus tido. Time nieh la plak baru si Ayen free. So, br la leh borak ngn Cik Ayen. Ape lagik...biaselah geng aku nieh, kalo tak windu2 ngn ma'am die. Hihi. Apepon gua layan ajelah...respect same ini member sbb alwiz n alwiz supportive kat awek die yg tercayang...darling die tuh...! One day aku rase, aku kena ckp la ngn awek die sal keangauan die nieh. Ihik...Whatever pon Ayen...I'm hepi for u...:)


Pagi, bgn awal. Tgk Su siap2 nak gi meeting. Hehe. Aku takde keje, so kaco2 org jeklah. Eyma lak nak pindah umah, so takleh kate ape la...die tak stay ngn aku sbb nak kemas umah baru die. N what happened to Nor Samsiah Sani? Well, Congratulations Syam!!! Bertunang akhirnye dgn jejake pilihan ati (eccewwwaaahhh!!!). After years of "berkepiting",(dulu balik2 bile nak kuar ostel asek jupe die dijemput cik abg)...now, dh bertunang pon. InsyaAllah, bln Mac nnt bleh la aku panggey die Puan Samsiah. Ecewah!!! Bahagie la idup kalo both programmer Petronas, gaji pon dh 3K...tak macam org len yg baru menapak kan. Hmm...rezeki masing2. Aku? Ntahlaahh...tak dengki n tak iri ati pun. Mungkin diri tak sebertuah org len...mungkin belum sampai mase lagik...maybeeee....? Smoge bertambah la rezki hendaknye...termasuk la rezki aku sniri...huhu...


Su balik tghari. Aku dh siap mandi sume la. Walopon liat gak sbb ujan lebat pg tuh wat aku tido balik smpai ke ptg (bkn senang nak bg aku tido..huhu). Ptg, parents Eyma dtg from Raub. So, tibe2 rase cm expert memahamkan loghat Pahang nieh, maklumler dulu ade experience. Hehe. Then, sitting with Su yg nampaknye penat. Asked her to sleep, tp die takmo tido. Nk dok ngan aku. Aku tepuk2 pon takmo tido gak. Smpai kena peluk n cubit2 pon tak titon agik. Kalo pegawai pencegah maksiat masuk bilik, sure die ingat aku dua alam ape. Huhu. Tp both pon mmg pangai tak senonoh. Itu blom agik ngn si Fairuz...mmg haru tgk aksi kitowang sblm tido. Hehe. Kire2 Su nieh sopan aaa agik! Mane la kitowang nieh tak dianggap lesbian especially dak2 laki nieh. Dhla kalo jalan pegang tangan sume. Huhu...Biarlah nak anggap ape kan! We know our limits...n paling penting...mende camnieh nak tuduh2, tanggungla sniri. Macam dose menuduh org berzina gak kan...


Lepas Maghrib, set for our journey...ape lagik, jalan2 carik pasal. Just like our old days mase student dulu!
Before dat, singgah Perantau, dekat umah Su kat Sg Ramal. Tpt di mane 1st aku nmpak Abg Ijan as Kak Sya's bf. Hehe. Mase tuh diorg dating, aku lak berende' ngan geng anak dare aku time tuh. Tegur hai2 jek ngn Kak Sya, hihi. Skang Abg Ijan bukan jek dh jd hubby...dh jd ayah Syahmi pon! Aiseeh..cepat tul mase berlalu! Skang, tokei Perantau ialah Abg Pendek yg jd cashier tuh. Order Nasik Goreng Kerabu, my usual meal kat Perantau...


Jln punye jln2, at last smpai ke Jalan Barat, PJ. Bkn senang tuh, dlm pade tuh tah mane sesat dulu. Siap masuk Jln Othman la, Jln Gasing...segale jln...hukhuk. Siap dh mule bukak buku map nak cari jln kuar (tuh laaa...pandai2 wat jln sniri...last2 sesat terus!). At last, stay kat Syed, Jln Barat...pekena nasik beriyani. Share berdua...sbb banyak giler! Bulat lagik la Cik Sha after dis. Tp mmg sedap pon, even Su pon suke. Dlm pade tuh, dok gelakkan Rakaro, club tpt macha clubbing. Geli jek..uhuk!


Then jln2, carik pasal. Tgk tpt yg agak2 nak tgk. Lepas tuh balik. Tak tgk bola dat nite, betape ralatnye cuz Crouch scored 2 goals! Yg tau pon cite sal MU...sbb Cik Ayen melaporkan. Negeri Sembilan klhkan Pahang...lagikla member bengang jek. Hih...so, kaco Cik Ayen...then tido la trus. Biar die report ape yg die patut reportis is what actually I like about Ayen. About having a fren yg same interest, tak de niat2 len nieh. Sentiase senang ati kalo ade kwn cmnieh!


Kitowang balik lambat, tp takde aaa lambat sgt kot. Pas dpt tau yg Crouch dh score, N9 menang, aku pon senyum2 jek masuk tido. Early in the morning, bangun...wat muke baik balik. Dh kate parents Eyma tido situ, takde keje nak tayang2 muke sangat. Mak Eyma wat nasik goreng. Aku nieh...walopon begitu...masih lagik reti respek org. So, after makan nasik goreng mak Eyma, set to go to Su office. Kat opis sementare Su wat keje die, aku wat keje aku. Smbil tuh tumpang semangkuk update blog. Hehe...
Sebenarnye dh mule kunci mulut the moment nampak opismets Su. Sumenye laki kan? Segatal aku, segedik aku...I know how to ctrl myself lagik nieh. So, org tanye...aku jwb. Org tak tanye, aku pon tak gatal nak tanye. Cume Su agak bengang ngn diorg sbb wat keje lambat...Sabar jelah Cik Su...


Cume balik tuh ade surprise utk aku! Kitowang pi UNITEN, jupe K...bf Su. Aku tau2 jekasing2 dh berborak2. Lame dh tak jupe K. Jrg sgt jupe! Becuz maybe dh prinsip aku n Su. Both tak payah la menayang bf. Aku hal aku, die hal die. Itu prinsip sal kapel nieh. Tak payah masing2 sibuk nak bercerite or menyibuk hal partner org len. N then...after a journey...sedar2 aku tau aku dh ade tepi laut...hihi. Ade org tuh nak banje aku mkn seafood rupenye....laaaaa...Alhamdulillah, rezki. Thank U Su n K...
Borak ngn K wat aku geli ati la. Sbb aku jrg2 sgt dok time K ade, time ade barulah borak sakan. So, ade satu part tuh...mmg kelakar. Cuz, aku saje kenakan K. It is known yg K dh ready nak kawen, tp Su blum ready. Mase kitowang student dulu (n both of us ade bf masing2), kitowang slalu bet sape kawen dulu. Aku rase aku la kawen lambat, cuz tgk partner aku time tuh mmg takde ckp nak kawen ke pe...kitowang takde nak pi dekat pon ngn topic kawen cuz dua2 takde rase sampai situ. K plak lagik tua dr Su, so aku slalu usik Su kawen dulu dr aku. N then, last2 we came into one conclusion: Dua2 tak kawen sampai umo 30. Hehe. Becuz kitowang ade plan sniri...
So arituh K kaco2 aku. Heboh suh aku kawen cepat laa...itulah..inilah. Probably sbb K ingt aku ade bf agik. Aku ckp, aku dh single blk. So, K ye2 ceramah kate aku jual mahal la, camnieh la...camtuh laaa...Last2 aku ckp kat K,


"Ko ni...nk suh aku kawen cepat sbb ko nak kawen ngn Su, kan?" K gelak jek. Still dgn opinion aku jual mahal tuh. Hampeh tul...Mane ade aku jual mahal sangat, K...


Penat jugak aku explain kat K sal berat badan aku yg dh makin bulat nieh. Tambah2 plak aku nieh rendah, makin bulat la. Sapelah nak yg bulat n pendek cam aku nieh? Tp K tetap ngn teori lelaki die. Cet! Nak2 plak fon mak aku asek berbunyi. Aku borak ngn Ayen laaa...sape agik. So, makin kuat assumption si K. Siap bet lagik tak lame lagik aku sure dpt bf baru...hampeh tul..


So, at last, tanpe disangke2 peristiwa nieh terjadi:

K: Kite kena kawen cepat sket Sha. Sok, takkan anak kecik kite dh tua.
Aku: Ko la dh tuaku n Su mude agik pe! Hahahahahaha (K muke bengang...Su muke hepi!Hehe)
K: Okaylah tu...kalo 25 leh kawen dah kan...?
Aku:
Yeke 25? Aku n Su dh janji nak kawen umo 30 la, K...7 thn lagik!

Aku nampak K tersenyap n ternganga. Uiiiikkssss...aku salah ckp ke? Aku pusing kat Su. Su sengih2 ctrl gelak...Hehehe...aku rase aku paham situation niehihi?

K: Ape lambat sangat nieh Sha...ko biar betul sampai 30 baru nak kawen?Aku: Betullah K...30 okay pe. In 7 years kan, bleh kitowang kuruskan badan, licinkan muke, bg fit...register gym, bli baju cantikkaylah tuh, K!
K: Ko kawen cepat Sha...Jgn aaa jual mahal!
Aku: Hehehe...aku kate 30, 30 laaaa...(sambil gelak besar)


Su pon gelak besar. Sambil tuh tambah2 ape aku ckp. Suke la ati tuh ! Balik tuh, Su ckp sbnrnye terkejut ngn statement awen 30?aku tuh. Die sniri tak pernah tgk K terkejut. But Su hepi jek...Secare tak sedar, terlepas die dr soklan K pasal kawen lepas nieh...siap thank aku lagik!Ish2...aku ingt aku gurau jek...

The next day, wat keje. Smpai la malam. Mlm tuh, Su ckp kitowang nak pi Port Klang, sbb die ade meeting kat exporter. Dinner skali. So, to Port Klang...mkn seafood agik! Cume makan tak byk...becuz wee heading to the north. Lagikpon tak slera nak makan...gaye exporter tuh macam nak mancing kitowang jek. So, be careful la ek!

After makan, around 11.30 p.m...kitowang mule journey jln gelap tuh. Hanye nampak signboard to Sabak Bernam...Kuala Selangor...Hutan Melintangnd at last...Teluk Intan. Smpai Teluk Intan, check in hotel...kat Anson Hotel. Tido! Sok nak keje!

Awal pg sok tuh...gi Bandar Seri Iskandar. Smbil tuh jenguk UTP n UiTM. Keje tak lame sangat...then kitowang pi mkn. Dpt makan ikan keli bakar n sambal belacan with ulam. Dh abes...kitowang turun pi Hutan Melintang lak. Mlm tuh, nak titon umah opah Su...
Aku tgk byk mende menarik sepanjang perjlnan kat sane. Aku nieh mmg la org kg. Tp kg aku kat Rembau tuh dh byk yg moden. Byk mende yg tak same cam kg org len. Umah2 kat Rembau tuh bukan sepenuhnye umah kayuh byk yg berbatu. Sg pon org tak gi. Kebun pon byk dh commercial. So, camno? Len la dr kg si Su nieh.

Kg Su nieh belah ayah die. Belah mak kat Johor, ayah die pon dok Johor. Tp, walopon kat Perak, ayah Su org Jawa. Mak Su pulak Banjar. Aku? Negeri Sembilan pure (dg banggenye!).

Mase aku dok sane, aku dpt tgk pokok kelape, sungai, sawah, n parit! Hepi la. Hepi sangat. Sepanjang idup aku...ni la mende paling aku suke. Smpai Su dah usik dahase nak masuk umah opah. Die tanye aku biase tak dok umah kg, panas. Aku tak tau laaaanas ke sejuk ke aku suke jek ! Bkn senang nak dpt experience nieh beb. Kat kg aku pon dh takde mende camniehuhuuu..

Dh abes sume urusan...kitowang balik la. But, ptg before balik...kitowang singgah di tpt di atas (gambo). Dgn baju tido. Hehe. Tuh pasal aku tak tangkap gambo sniri. Sbb bru lepas mandi time tuh, n then nak jimat baju. So, trackbottom n t-shirt. Last2 aku nampak langit nieh...tangkap gambo. After datku dok atas jeti....layaaaaaaaaaaaannnnn...
During dis journey to north, aku mmg byk diam. Especially bile kat laut nieh. Su nieh corporative gaklah...so, she left me in silence. Macam paham2 jek...

Tried to seize the moment...tried to have my peace of mind. Byk yg dh jadi tahun nieh. Byk yg tak terluah kat org len. Biarlah...sbb itu hal aku, n aku yg wajib selesaikan. Tp utk ari tuh...waktu tuh...biar mase tuh utk aku...and Alhamdulillah...I got a very understanding person beside me. Su senyap jek...n bile aku kate nak balikitowang balik...
Kitowang singgah Sabak Bernam beli mange n jagung. Then singgah pi makan kat Tanjung Karang. Ade satu restoran namenye Me-Dang (Su kate Me-Dang =Makan). Marvelous Mee Bandung! Continue smpai Shah Alam (nk jemput K), tibe2 tayar pecah sbb langgar batu tepi jalan...huwarrrgghhhh...

So, my dear Su...last die kena gak call K. Elok2 nak wat sniri...tp tak kuat. Hehe. Tgk K tukar senang jek. Power tul. On the way, still kaco K agik...(including questions Su nak tanye, aku jd tukang tanye). Of course...awek yg nampak tak penyegan nieh penyegan gak sbnrnye. Hehe. So, last2 Cik Sha yg tanyekan. K, macam biase...lecture aku lagik. Tlg laaaa...bf is not my priority laaa...kan aku dh ckp. So...at last...these are my sentences:


1. Sbb aku tak cantikla, aku taknak org ingat senang nak dpt. So, kenalah careful.
2. Sbb aku peramah la, aku taknak senang2 jatuh ati. Aku peramah bkn sbb desperate.
3. Sbb aku senang nak berkawan la, aku nak kawan byk2. Bkn sbb aku nak promo diri jd awek org.


At last?K got the picture. Aku mungkin tak cantik, peramah, n senang nak berkawan. Aku mungkin tak kisah dgn lelaki. BUTtu tak bermakne aku sesenang itu. Aku mungkin bukan org yg terbaik...tp dh prinsip aku dun want to have ex-bf collection...

So? At last kitowang sampai umah aku. With lots of memories...

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