Monday, February 27, 2006

Blue Heart



BLURRY-PUDDLE OF MUDD

Everything's so blurry
and everyone's so fake
and everybody's empty
and everything is so messed up
pre-occupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
you could be my scene
you know that i'll protect you
from all of the obscene
I wonder what you're doing
imagine where you are
there's oceans in between us
but that's not very far

Can you take it all away
can you take it all away
well ya shoved it in my face
this pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
can you take it all away
well ya shoved it my face

Everyone is changing
there's noone left that's real
to make up your own ending
and let me know just how you feel
cause I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
my whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
you could be my scene
you know that i will save you
from all of the unclean
I wonder what you're doing
I wonder where you are
There's oceans in between us
but that's not very far

[Chorus]

Nobody told me what you thought
nobody told me what to say
everyone showed you where to turn
told you when to runaway
nobody told you where to hide
nobody told you what to say
everyone showed you where to turn
showed you when to runaway

[Chorus]

This pain you gave to me

You take it all
You take it all away...
This pain you gave to me
You take it all away
This pain you gave to me
Take it all away
This pain you gave to me

Okay...aku pon tak paham apasal Cik Ayen jiwang macam tah hape2 nieh...hehehe...Ade ke suh tulh mende jiwang...cettt...Ketahuilah kawan2 sekalian, hikmat jiwang tahap gaban aku tuh dah mule menyusut and at times dah takde hehehe...:P

Nywayz, aku ade satu mende yg aku nak share ngan kowang from cite Luv Actually. Dlm satu part cite nieh, adelah zaman2 di mane 3 org sahabat berkawan. N dalam persabahatan dowang nieh ade 3 org....termasuk bak kate Kunci Hilang (Kiera Knightley-Pride and Prejudice!). Nywayz, 3 org sahabat nieh ade 2 laki and sowang pompuan. Pompuan tuh, Juliet, and dua lagik lagik..Mark and Peter kalo tak silap aku. Cite nieh taklah sadis sangat..cume ade satu part tuh mengingatkan aku pasal diri aku sniri..huhu..

Mark mmg suke Juliet. Tp lambat melapazkan.So, one day...tah camne tah, Juliet ngan Peter kawen (mind u...kadang2 aku lagik cepat lupe bab2 cite nieh! Hehehe) So, kesian la Mark...gadis idaman kawen ngan besfren die gak. Aku rase, the saddest part (walopon cite nieh tak sad), mase Juliet and Peter kawen, pastu...yg si Mark nieh jd tukang kamera. N...selepas ditilik2 Mark tangkap gambo n videokan gambo si Juliet jek...sume n segale aksi:D So obvious kan, akhirnye bile Juliet tgk sniri video rakaman perkahwinan die?:D

So...one day...mase Christmas...dengan bebarape board yg dh siap bertulis...n sebijik radio yg memasang lagu Christmas...Mark datang umah. Juliet bukak pintu. Peter tanye, sape tuh? Mark, without words...tunjuk board tuh "Tell him it's the carol"...lebih kurang cenggitu la. So...die pon mule flip words yg berikut (ehsan dr Kunci Hilang...tengkiu very much!!!!)


Mark: [on sheets of poster board] With any luck, by next year - I'll be going out with one of these girls.
[shows pictures of beautiful supermodels]
Mark: But for now, let me say - Without hope or agenda - Just because it's Christmas - And at Christmas you tell the truth - To me, you are perfect - And my wasted heart will love you - Until you look like this
[picture of a mummy]
Mark: Merry Christmas

N akhirnye....Mark pon blaa....huhu...cedih...sob...sob...

Aku sedih aaa. Honestly. Mase aku tgk tuh, aku hampir nak nangeh..idung dh rase cam penuh je nak sreeett...sreeeet...Tibe2 terase kisah aku satu mase dulu macam diframekan balik dlm cite nieh. N if only words nieh...aku cakap dulu kan? Hmmm....maybe silence was the best thing to do at the time..huhuhu..

Bezanye...mase aku wat pangai pakai videocam rakam muke die tuh...mase open house. Raye. N aku tak prasan brape kali aku rewind nak tgk muke tak ensem die. Hehehe...been wondering lately why I was so in luv laa...Macam mane die boleh jd the 1st one...hehe...

N then, mase tuh...gi Johor, kenduri kosmet aku. Aku rewind agik...with dat longing in my heart. Seriously...jiwang sesangat la waktu tuh! :P

Tp...bile dh balik dr Johor...realiti menjelma...ecewaaahh. Aku kena trime hakikat...life aku macam Mark tuh la...dh lambat ckp, sape suh kan. N aku plak sentiase pk yg pompuan kena jg pride, takleh ckp dulu...so bertahun menunggu n akhirnye...lebur!

He was my dream guy. I mean...mase tuh, aku tak prasan. Aku tak tau ape yg aku nak, smpai aku hilang akhirnye. Everyday bile nampak die senyum...n mase aku got the moment berdua jek ngan die...aku langsung tak prasan! Padan muke aku la, waktu tuh...

Aku rase, kenangan aku takleh lupe ngan die, mase tuh kat Coffee Bean, Sunway Pyramid.(Rasenye CB, bukan Starbucks). Aku dok satu tpt, tibe2 die dtg wat muke comey...dok sebelah. Die kate, kang kalo die dok depan nnt asap rokok kena kat aku (aku sbnrnye pernah suke laki merokok). So...mase die dok sebelah die men bacak2...smpai aku marah. Last2 die gelak2. Geram jek, rase nak cubit tp ctrl beb! Pastuh, die cite kat aku sal bola...die cite kat aku sal motor...kitowang spent the hours macam kitowang jek ade kat situ...n..tibe2 die ckp, "Kalo la aku dpt awek cam ko, kan!" Terkejut...but said nothing...jage pride Cik Sha!!!N the day ended like dat..

N then, last2 aku pandang jek die...die anta aku balik hostel. The next day, aku tgk die men bola kat stadium. Best sangat. Aku bet, kalo die leh score goal...tp die tak score. He wore number 10...number jersey aku...hehe. Pastuh, mase die dh men...die trus dtg kat aku. Dok sebelah dgn bucuknye...die cakap, "Aku taknak tanye org len...yg penting utk aku skang, ko!" Aku gelak2...soh die pi tpt len, n die trus bukak baju. Hampeh. Bdn peluh2. Die bagi jersey..soh aku lipat. Aku pon lipat la mende melekit tuh..hampeh...

So, me bebel pasal performance die...die senyum2...n most of the time argue aku tak pandai men bola. Hahaha. My sweetest moment with him...sbb aku suke bile time gaduh ngan die. Aku rase die bijak bile tiap kali die gaduh ngan aku....N plus, sangat comey...luruh jantung beb!:P

My last day with him...mase tuh, aku nasihatkan die to pursue his dream gal...my hosmet. Walhal aku dah nak nangeh..tp aku ctrl jek. Aku gelak2 walhal balik tuh aku nangeh sampai lebam. Die anta aku balik kg...n on the way...die nyanyi utk aku...n aku nyanyi ngan die. Tajuk lagu: Blurry...Puddle of Mudd. Tp yg part paling haru...die nyanyi," You could be my someone, u could be my scene...bla...blaa...." Dah la pandang2 aku...sebbaik tak eksiden bawak keta...huhu. N then, part yg sedih tuh...."Preoccupied without u, I cannot live at all, my whole world surrounds you, I stumble then I crawl..." Hish...bodoh jek rase! Tp balik tuh...mase die pujuk ajak gi PD (anta gadis idamannye)...aku tolak...n itulah kali terakhir kitowang same2...sbb lepas tuh everytime nampak dr jauh..aku lari. Sbb pernah one day die ternampak, die kejar (mase tuh die dh official jd bf org len)..."Puas aku carik ko, ko gi mane...aku windu ko aaaa!!!" Aku gelak2 jek ckp, "Aku pon tiap2 ari windu ko...okay aaa...nak balik...tata..." Pusing2 tuh aku okay. Tp toilet UPTEN tuh la tpt menangeh aku mase tuh...hampeh tul...

Aku demam, aku sakit...aku blaja kire bintang. Aku blaja kenal org...aku blaja bawak diri. Aku lari dr umah aku sebelum tuh...alasannye ade hal peribadi...aku tau kwn2 makan ati tak tau sbb aku berubah pangai...tp yg pasti...utk idup dlm dunia yg ade die....aku dah tutup pintu ati:D

Kite taknak tepuk sebelah tangan, kan. N inilah kisah aku...taknak bertepuk sebelah tangan, tp bertahun makan ati. Org pernah tanye, bile aku jupe ex aku...nape...aku macam tak brape sorok feeling from him...Becuz...aku taknak jd kali ke-dua...:D

Bile aku broke up ngan ex aku, aku mmg la frust. Aku sedih. Tp...bile aku jupe kawan2 aku...n particularly...Suhaila...my close fren...die akan cakap,
Su:" Ko frust, aku nampak. Jgn tipu aku! Tp...aku hepi sbb ko tak frust ngan bf ko macam mane ko 1st time frust ngan ***"
Aku: Teruk sangat ke dulu?
Su: Yelah...sampai sakit n ngigau tak cukup teruk ke? Hehehe...
Aku: Hahaha...yeke...aku tak ingat aaa...
Su: Ko nampak teruk mase tuh, Sha...lost...
Aku: Dah brape thn kan, die ade jek....

So...ape pandangan kowang? Tak cukup jiwang ke? Kesah centa pertame aku nieh tau:P

Nieh lagu Blurry:D

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