Thursday, March 12, 2009

the chrysanthemum story - part 21

Budak2 lari...

Sepet: I'm okay...(exhale). Alhamdulillah...thanks for accepting me as I am.
Aku: I did the thinking. (oit...sejak bile Alhamdulillah nieh masuk dlm vocab die nieh?)

At this point I felt like crying. The only time I saw him crying was when his mum passed away. Tp pasal aku...well, tak pernah pulak. Die mmg macho. Tp hari nieh...hmmmm...

Sepet: Sha...u tau tak macam mane I sayang sangat ngan u dulu? Kenapa baru sekarang?
Aku: I screwed up. I know.
Sepet: Me too.
Aku: I was trying to fight for u, but I failed. U dah hilang masa tu.
Sepet: I nak lari dr semua org, Sha. Especially u. My life was a mess...
Aku: U ingat I lembik sangat, tak boleh handle?
Sepet: I thought u didn't love me enough to stand by me...
Aku: I kena cakap ke I sayang u?
Sepet: U jarang cakap...I je yang cakap, Sha...
Aku: Ooooo...(and dat was when I started crying)

Sepet: U cakap, u taknak nangis kan...
Aku: U jahat! (and I continued sobbing)
Sepet: It was hard, u tau tak? U were not easy. I boleh rasa, tp tak pernah dgr, Sha. Masa my mum meninggal, I ingat lagi elok I sorang2 cuz your feelings to me are not as deep as mine to u.
Aku: I thought u just wanted to play.
Sepet: And dats what I get for having such reputation.


Sepet: I tak suka u nangis. (laaa...tp yang dia nangis sekali nieh apasal?)
Aku: I take it that today we put everything to end?
Sepet: Tak!
Aku: Habis?
Sepet: I want u. But I don't know how to put that spark again...I don't know how to feel the same...I dun have love anymore.
Aku: I'm not forcing u to love me. Don't say anything u don't feel.
Sepet: But...that's what u want?
Aku: Nope...and don't expect me to be the same.
Sepet: Habis?
Aku: I memangla sayang u. Tp nak sayang u macam 3 years ago tuh taklah. Mase tuh I budak2...it was totally different.
Sepet: Macam mane?
Aku: Dulu...bile I sayang u...it was this hot flash burning love gitu...though I rarely said that out loud, but I talked bout u a lot. To my mum...friends...(my blog, kate aku dlm ati)/ Sekarang nieh...hmmm...relax sket...(though I named my blog Sepet, after u)
Sepet: I tak faham...
Aku: We were friends before we decided to be together as a couple. Let it be that way, okay?
Sepet: Takpe ke?
Aku: Mmg la...kalo boleh I nak kawen dgn u. But I will accept and respect your decision, dear...
Sepet: Sampai bile?
Aku: I don't know. I've informed u about my decision. What I do with my life is different. But I'll wait. And kalo tibe2 u kawen dgn org lain nanti...let me know cuz I banyak cuti!(sengih)
Sepet: Sha!!!
Aku: I love u so much. (looked at him in the eyes...)Ingatkan bila u dah takde, boleh cari lain. Tak jugak. Nampak gayenye u kena kawen la. Nanti...I tak payah tunggu u.
Sepet: U tunggu I?
Aku: Setakat ini, yelah.
Sepet: Kalau dulu I tau, Orkid dah besar...
Aku: Lain pulak cerite kite kalo u tau.
Sepet: I wish I tau.
Aku: Takpelah...cerite kite dah habis.

Aku: I dah pikir pasal benda nie dah lame. These words have been rehersed so many times sampai I dah lupe nak cakap ape.
Sepet: I pun tak tau nak cakap ape.
Aku: Ooooo...by the way...ade satu orang nieh excited sangat I kuar ngan u arinieh.
Sepet: Siapa? Your friends?
Aku: Tak!
Sepet: Siapa?
Aku: U lupe die ye? Never mind...
Sepet: Adik angkat u ke?
Aku: My mum.
Sepet: Okay...(change in facial expression)
Aku: I cakap dengan die I nak kuar pagi tadi.
Sepet: Still mintak izin lagi ke?
Aku: Of course! I kan pompuan?

He reached for his phone...dialled the numbers...

Sepet: Hello? Assalamualaikum...Aunty?

And I feel like crying again...

2 comments:

Neeza Shahril said...

ouch! dia call mak sha ke? dia still simpan number mak sha?
touchingnya... :)

A.I.Z.A.T said...

wah,detail sungguh..
banyak dah yg saya baca..
best sbb cite ni real..
keep up de gud work..


jgn slalu nangis..
take care