sha: the chrysanthemum story - part 19

I picked them up from my garden
Originally uploaded by yoshiko314

Eye-to-eye...

Sepet: My answer is not yes.
Aku: Okay...
Sepet: Sha...dengar dulu...I tak habis lagik...
Aku: I'm okay...if it is a no..it's a no...(sakitnye tekak, Ya Allah...rasa nak bertakung dah nieh...)
Sepet: It's not a no either...
Aku: Ape nieh...kenape cakap belit2...?
Sepet: Tak belit. I know in my heart that I want u.
Aku: (senyap...pandang die...he looked into my eyes)
Sepet: U know I had girlfriends...
Aku: True.
Sepet: None of them can compare to u...
Aku: Diorang cantik...!
Sepet: Tapi menyusahkan. Takde yg lagi sopan and beradab macam u, Sha. U dah tgk.
Aku: Jgn nak sedapkan ati pulak!
Sepet: It's true. I tak ajak dowang kawen. I ajak u kawen.
Aku: And because I said no last time...now you're saying no to me...
Sepet: I langsung tak fikir macam tuh.
Aku: Dear...I faham. U explained.
Sepet: Boleh ke org macam u terima I, Sha? (dis was my question 3 years ago!)
Aku: Apasal pulak...
Sepet: U know me, Sha...
Aku: Okay....I'm going to be honest...


---> We met when I was 23 years old. Baru grad. 1st job. I was young, naive and stupid. U were...what? 30?
U had marriage in mind. I did not. I wanted us to be like others cuz I had so many plans in life. But...at the same time,
I was very much in love with u. U were my idol, my mentor at work. And u were my boyfriend. But...u were serious, and your life was too simple.
U tido...u makan...u tgk tv...We rarely went to cinema. When I was young, it was damn boring. I admit that...


Sepet: (senyap)
Aku: (cont)
---> When u were under dat condition, I panicked. U went missing after your mum passed away, dear. A normal girlfriend will certainly be panicked and will try to find u. That was me.
But u wanted to be alone and I felt rejected. I know...I was supposed to be more understanding. But u were not that approachable either. And finally, I let you go because I managed to convince myself
that i was just your passing interest...


Sepet: Wait...wait...Passing interest?
Aku: Yes!
Sepet: I pergi jumpa parents u, Sha. I really wanted to marry u. U taknak. U bukan passing interest!
Aku: I tipu...I nak.
Sepet: Kenape baru sekarang baru u cakap?
Aku: I was not convinced...and I had plans in life.
Sepet: So it was ME who became the passing interest.
Aku: No~!
Sepet: U loved me.
Aku: Still do.
Sepet: I'm not the same person.
Aku: U were my hero, remember?
Sepet: Yang dah patah kaki nak bergerak, putus semangat nak idup nieh. Boleh ke, Sha?
Aku: I want to finish whatever I rehersed in the mirror for the past 2 years.
Sepet: U are very confident now. Tak macam dulu dah.
Aku: I know what I'm saying...


To be continued...