Thursday, April 02, 2009

finding orkid: learning from my memory

Duuuuuuuuuuppppp...terantuk!!!! Nieh sume sbb aku bukak mulut dulu pasal Guns and Roses. Aku mmg la suke lagu nieh, but aku tak pernah2 amik tau pasal lyrics cuz lagu nieh bukan top list aku. Kdg2 bile kite nyanyi lagu tuh kite bukan prasan lyrics kan...pakai nyanyi jek. Skali tibe2...dis song wuz dedicated to me. Bukak lyrics...rase terantuk la plak...Ampeh tullll!!!Semlm we had our 1st misunderstanding...hehe. Lawak aaa. Aku tak tau aaa plak yg lyrics nieh pasal time..Kesimpulannye..lenkali kalo nyanyi...tgk lyrics dulu...hehehe...

It's about time. Aku tak kate lagu nieh tak relevant. In fact, sangat relevant. Mase aku cakap,"I just need sum time", die diam jek. Aku paham bukan senang nak trime decision yg aku dh wat. Kdg pangai aku yg "so near yet so far" nieh buat die pening ngan aku. Aku pon tak tau sampai bile die nak tahan. Die diam...then die ckp, "Give dis relationship a chance, Sha". Aku jawab balik, "Am i giving u chance now?" Die terus pandang aku n jawab yes. Tp tgk muke die mmg tak puas ati kan...so aku diam...n aku cume ckp, "I don't want us moving too fast.." N last2 die senyap...drove until we reached my parents'. Itupon...gua tak bagi masuk rumah...sum other time!!! Mmg masak kalo die jupe parents aku nanti!!!Looking at his expression...mmg sangat bengang!


I've never met such a straightforward person in my life. Senang2 ati die tak berkias2...terus tanye soklan2 pelik nieh. Langsung takde pusing ape, ajak aku kuar. N as usual...aku yg suke buat pangai loyar buruk nieh kadang2 bisu dibuatnye. I said,"I dun think I'll get married before 30...". Jawapan die buat aku terdiam trus, "Then macam mane i nak kawen ngan u nanti?"Amboi2...senang nye die cakap.

But back to the things I wanted, these are the things yg aku nak, kan. I mean...I had enuff of kias n malu dlm relationship mase aku dgn ex aku dulu. Aku malas nak memahamkan sniri sumenye. But come to think about it again...aku tergamam pulak bile jupe yg macam nieh!

Jawapannnye, aku suke ke tidak ngan die, kan. Owait...i feel safe wit him, feel useful...If u dare ask me about whether he is intelligent enuff for me, he is. He understands what I'm talking about. He luvs futbol...he luvs F1...he luvs dining out like me...He appreciate my interest in books...in fact die pon bace buku. He met me expectations? Hahaha...nieh susah sket nak ckp. Basically my gals akan terkejut la kalo nak judge bab apperance sbb die sangatla tak ensem. 1st kalo ikut dr segi rupe....dah out, beb!!!! Tp lepas tuh aku pk rationale balik, mende nieh tak bawak ke mane...aku diamkan aje. At the end of the day...tak kisah pon. Then come to think about which skool he was from...RMC...dah kantoi! Aku punye la tak minat RMC boys dulu...n I'm dating to one now? Adoiiii...n so many other things yg langsung tak kena in principles pasal die nieh...

Back at home...bile aku 1st kuar ngan die. I just mentioned his age to my mum...mak aku terus gelak tak ingat. Tau ape ibu aku cakap? "Bagusla tuh!!!Older guys knows what they want...". Me trying to explain macam mane directnye die nieh punye approach...ibu aku dgn muke relax berkate, "baguslah tuh".

Bile die anta aku balik, ayah ternampak. Ayah tak tanye, but ibu explained to ayah depan aku. Malu tah hingat aku jdnye. Penat jugak aku nak explain die bukan bf aku, just kwn satu tpt keje. Guess what ayah said? I can't believe dis is my father's sentence:"Sayang org yg sayang kite..." N aku terus blur...

Smalam, aku smpai2...die tgh bz. Die gamit aku, sbb die takleh ckp (tgh dok melayan mat salleh tuh!). Tibe2 die letak ferraro rocher kat dlm tangan aku. Aku pandang die, die dok sengih2 jek. Bodoh tul. Last2 aku bla. Before die balik, die singgah kat table aku, ckp nak balik. Punye hebat kitowang cover...tp tibe2 die bukak aspect aku, tgk AHT. Aku punye hangin sbb aku bad mood! AHT aku tinggi....n the only person yg aku taknak menyakitkan ati aku is:HIM. Aku pandang die, aku terus bla jek...die blur...

Mase break, lepas Isya' die call. We had our talk...all went well...tuh yg jd smpai topik November Rain nieh kuar..sbb die tgh dgr Guns and Roses mase call aku...n...last2..."I'm falling for u...". As usual...aku senyap. What i can say..."I can't reply anything u say..." n...."I'll wait.". He doesn't know at dat point of time I wuz going to cry. I'm still wondering why it hurts so much...n he's the victim of the situation at last...

Macam lagu Melly ngan Kris...Naluri ku berkata...tak ingin terulang lagi....kehilangan cinta hati bagai raga tak bernyawa...

Teruk jugak bile dah sekali putus cinta nieh...

---> kat atas nieh posting aku dolu2....adehaiiii....Orkid, finding true love is not easy. Don't be like me...

Semalam aku chat ngan JueLee...and aku terpikir plak..."Eh,dah lame tak bace posting2 lame. Pe kate bace posting lame sat? So, aku bacelah....and I found this posting...

Nak gelak pon ade,sedih pon ade. But life must go on, rite?

I have to learn now, Orkid. For you...

Soalan: Confuse ke?

10 comments:

★ Nu♥ℜul ★ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
attyfir said...

yup sha..apa pun terjadik..life must go on..ade hikmah..semua yg berlaku.

attyfir said...

komen 1st tu kty delete..terpakai id anaklak..im sorry..

juelee said...

jue faham sha....
Hmm its true, finding true love is not easy..
kekadang kiter rasa kiter dah jumpe orang yg sesuai tapi hakikatnye belum lagi...
yg penting org tuh ikhlas menyayangi kiter, harta, rupa dan pangkat boleh dicari....

~Cinta Cukulet~ said...

betul life must go on..jangan terhenti separuh jalan dan jgn musnahkan hidup kita semata2 cinta yg tak kesampaian

Emy Omar said...

Kakak..ada tak gambar "majlis" hari tu??Nak tengok???

Tie said...

Hmmm....selalu terkenang yang manis2 je....yang pahit tu tolak jauh2...he he..

Neeza Shahril said...

confuse gak tadi.. then bila baca ni posting lama.. baru faham..
akak harap Sha lebih bahagia lepas ni ya :)

Quiyah said...

hmm? sha, aku confusela.. bole tak ko fill in the blanks for me?

Dayu said...

mmg konfius
dah lah dayu jarang *asyik tercicir kan*
entry sha mmg selalu tersirat

tapi pe yang boleh dayu kata
bukan senang nak kecap bahagia sha
ada je dugaan nyer
faktor luaran tu lagi perit...

sha, boleh bagi alamat..
sha tahu kan untuk pe