It's going to be like this for me this year:
Atuk Gomok: passed away in year 2004.
Nenek: passed away in year 2000.
There won't be anyone from ibu's side. Both grandparents were dead.
Atuk Yassin, my father's father has left us early this yearand I'm just going to have my Wan for raya. Since 3 of my grandparents have passed away, it means we have 3 main graves to be visited this year (and other relatives, of course).
I wonder how is it going to be for ayah this year. As the eldest daughter, I got more chances in seeing how he was celebrating his raya with his father. I have seen them locked in each other embrace for more than 30 minutes, tears drenched each other baju Melayu and muffles heard from each other shoulders. I have seen them kissing each other endlessly while saying things I could not understand:)
The activity of reminiscing his childhood memories was my father's favourite. He teased Atuk about his obsession in P.Ramlee movies. Yup...my late grandfather was a P.Ramlee's movies maniac. My brother Shahmi and I are the example of people who can memorise P.Ramlee's dialogues. This was because of Atuk's influence in admiring those movies. He might be thinking that I'm spoiling his hero clips into my dear junk blog if he is still alive:)
When I was watching this clips, I was wondering about so many things. Among other holidays, people will choose raya as the time to go the graves. I wonder why is that? Is there any pahala of doing so? Or is it just something happen in our norms?
Why do we have to bring flowers and plain water to the graves? Is that something you have to do? I am clueless about this and I'm yet to ask the experts.Perhaps, there is someone who can answer that for me.(I hope)
My grandparents were buried at Makam Tuan Haji Said, Seremban. Luckily my parents are from the same hometown, so it will be fair for them to visit "both sides" at the same time. But we won't be going on the Hari Raya itself. There will be too many things consider:
There'll be limited parking spaces and sometimes there is a possibility of traffic jams near the graveyard. Our family consists of 6 people excluding our relatives. Will there be any space for the whole family to be there? Of course not.
And if everyone goes to the graveyard,who will stay at home? Who is going to entertain the guests? So, we have to make a schedule.
Having a family reunion (even at the graveyard)is nice, but we have to take care of these factors:)
By the way,it's not just Kassim who made a mistake of not reading the tombstone. There are people who are not doing this in reality. So, don't blame others for saying that the grave does not belong to your wife, Sabariah if you don't know how to read in Jawi:)
It is very hard to avoid regret. Just like Ibu Mertua. She was regretting that she married Sabariah to Dr.Ismadi. But do you have to show it to other people at the graveyard? Do you have to lie on the ground like Ibu Mertua? Of course not. But some people will still do it.
Lastly, please admit that if you are the type of person who rarely go to the graveyard (no hypocrisy please!). Bring some tools to clear the graves, because you cannot just depend on others. Some graves just need pruning. Or weeding. Pay some respect to your family.
And...bring your doa along. Don't sit on the grave and stare at the tombstone. That's the reason why your going to visit in the first place:)
I hope I'll be able to do this to these great people in my life.
It's easy to say it than do it, right?