sha: food to fart

Lunch @ Okiawa no Sato
三色丼(サーモン・いくら・海ぶどう)
Originally uploaded by jetalone

" Excuse me, miss. Would you like more gari?"

We looked differently at the handsome sushi guy in front of us. Why would we want more handcuffs?

"Gari?" I asked the guy incredulously.

He smiled at me and pointed at the small plate of pink pickled ginger. "Gari (ガリ^?) is a type of tsukemono (pickled vegetables). It is sweet, thinly sliced young ginger that has been marinated in a solution of sugar and vinegar."

"Oooo...yang ini ke." I blushed. He smiled again.

"Boleh tambah ke?" my friend asked him.

"Boleh. Apa salahnya," he said. I was still blushing like hell. And that guy was still staring at me. Adoi.

"Salah saya. Selalu customer tak tahu gari tu apa," he said. The voice was soothing a bit. And he still looked very handsome. Oh, this is not good.

"Saya suka ni. Boleh tambah lagi?" asked my friend.

"Sure boleh. Adik taknak?" he asked me. My face felt really hot!!!

"Errr...tak apalah. Dia makan saya punya," I told him. Yes, my friend ate this gari like hell. She even took mine.

"Saya ambil untuk adik juga. Mana tahu kawan nak makan. Tadi order banyak sushi kan? Makan gari ni elok kalau dah makan sushi." Woowww...the guy can talk!

"Errrr...okay..." I smiled innocently and shyly at him.

When we reached home...

" Flatulence is the expulsion through the rectum of a mixture of gases that are byproducts of the digestion process of mammals and other animals. The mixture of gases is known as flatus, (informally) fart, or simply gas, and is expelled from the rectum in a process colloquially referred to as "passing gas" or "farting".

"Kentut ke!" I asked my friend. I smelled something like a rotten egg.

"Aku rasa gari ni buat aku kentut. Dari tadi aku kentut!"

"Kan halia tu...memang la kau kentut!"

And my friend had a fart syndrome for a day. I was immune to the smell.

That happened back then in 2002.

In 2009, I cooked steamed fish with lots of ginger in in. After buka, while cleaning up the dishes, I heard a very annoying sound.
"Prooooottttt!!!"
Oh...that came from my back.

And that felt very good. I always believe that farting is the best pleasure in life.

The question is, I fart too loud. Why?

"The noises commonly associated with flatulence are caused by the vibration of the anal sphincter, and occasionally by the closed buttocks..."

Maybe I'm having an extra vibration. A fat person will fart louder than a thin person.

So, how?

" Flatulence-producing foods are typically high in certain polysaccharides, (especially oligosaccharides such as inulin). Those foods include beans, lentils, dairy products, onions, garlic, scallions, leeks, turnips, rutabagas, radishes, sweet potatoes, potatoes, cashews, Jerusalem artichokes, oats, wheat, and yeast in breads. Cauliflower, broccoli, cabbage, Brussels sprouts and other cruciferous vegetables that belong to the genus Brassica are commonly reputed to not only increase flatulence, but to increase the pungency of the flatus."

So, it means I can't eat my favourite food.

No way.

But then, what if I fart in front of a handsome guy?
Like the one in Sushi?

Hohohoho...noooooooo...!!!

Facts: wikipedia