He said he loved me. I knew he loved me. His eyes said so. Sometimes when he thought that I didn't notice, he would look at me while I was doing my work. I felt the stare and when I did, a tingle of warmth crept from my heart up to my cheeks and a precious smile of mine would form easily. I would look up and stare at him to blow my smile.
Being wicked, he would pretend as if he didn't do anything. But he couldn't lie - for I knew that his ghost of smile would certainly haunt me as he walked away to do his chores.
I'm missing the time of our breakfast together. Every morning, he would wake me up with; "Princess, open your eyes." And I would say, "Give me a minute, I need to brush first." He would then teased me with, "I think you should use that thing from Colgate, my love." I smiled. A good way of starting a day.
We would sit in mamak, reading our favourite newspaper together. He frowned lesser than me, but he laughed a lot. I always believe in the opposite attraction. He would show me all the good news after I showed him the bad news. The heat of discussion would never turned cold with him. He was smart, playful and thoughtful at the same time.
He didn't mind an extra egg on my Roti Jantan because we dipped into the sunny side eggs in the same plate. He would ask me to drink the Susu Halia from his cup, because he always believe that drinking from the same cup would make our love grow.
While he was licking the yolk on his lips, I would smile - thinking that I was the luckiest girl in the world.
But that has changed.
He hasn't been talking to me for days. I'm feeling like singing the song of Agnes Monica,
"Kau kekasihku tapi orang lain bagiku."
Silent treatment was killing me. I hoped that he would stop doing so. I was the one who supposed to get angry, not him. He was the one who was cheating on me!!!
It was my fault of not respecting his privacy. It was my fault that I checked his cell phone.
But who in the hell was Mek?!
When I confronted him, he got angry. He became silent. I begged for explanation. He grew quiet since Thursday. Before this he still said yes or no, but now he only nodded his head. My worst fear was controlling my head. It started to sing Rossa's song, Takdir Cinta.
"Andai aku bisa lebih adil pada cinta kau dan dia..."
I couldn't hold it anymore. We must talk.
"My love, who is Mek?" I asked him.
"Someone I love," he answered.
"You love her more than you love me?"
I felt the sting behind my head and tears started to slide on my cheeks. I checked my composure and straightened my shoulders. We must continue regardless of how sad I'm going to be.
"How long have you been with her?"
"More than you know." his eyes were cold.
"Why? Am I not treating you good enough?" I cried.
"You do. It's just me...you know. I'm hiding something from you," he said.
"There must be something! Don't lie, darling. What have I done wrong to you?" my shoulders shook with grief.
"I have a family somewhere in Malaysia. Not just you," he said slowly.
"Nooooo..." I cried.
How could he? I thought I don't have to go through all this again. I don't have beauty or smartness. But why did he kept it secret? A family! That's huge! I didn't know that I have to share! Or is he going to tell me that I'm just his object for amusement? He no longer need me?
"Sirih sekapurlah abang
Bunga setangkai cik abang
Kalau tuan sayang hamba
Tidaklah padi berusang hamba
Takkan berusanglah abang
Takkan terbang hai abang
Pipit di ladang
Kekasih rindu dikenang
Budi setahun segunung intan"
I heard myself singing Ahmad Jais's song.
I cried my heart out.
"Kakak! Dah...tak payah kupas bawang ni lagi. Air mata kau meleleh-leleh. Kupas bawang lagi teruk mata kau..." I heard ibu's voice.
I looked at the onions in front of me. My puffy eyes are not functioning properly. I couldn't see clearly. I took the tissues and dabbed it on my cheeks and left the kitchen.
I was daydreaming.
But that was a nightmare. It was neither romantic nor sweet. It was scary!
I adjusted my pink pillow and made myself comfortable. I needed to rest my sore eyes.
When I closed my eyes, I saw him again.
"Mek is my aunty who migrated from New York to Newcastle," he told me while holding me close.
Yes, I'm short. Malaysian height. Duuuhhh!!!
"Newcastle?" I asked curiously.
"No...no...Kota Bharu. Sorry." His wicked grin restored on his face.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"They are now in Tumpat. Thing is, we can't go there. They told me there's a flood somewhere in that area. I'm just upset because I'm not with my family," he explained.
"And I was being jealous and everything?"
"Yup. I know how you feel about Kelantan after the Malaysian Cup, my sweet. If it is not much of a trouble, can we celebrate Raya Haji in Kelantan next year?"
"Give me some sugar," he smiled.
Ooo...I need to censor that part. Sorry!!!
My Jack is actually Abe Jack.
So much for jealousy. Even in my dreams.
I still wanted to end it with dreams. Not nightmare:)
Click for the story and pictures.
Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha to all Kelantanese.
I know you're still celebrating.
That's one good thing that I will certainly acknowledge.
Sha is not that mean, you see:P