I am still trying to find the strength to write new stories. I'm sorry for not being able to tell you who said what to me, but all I want to say is that everything has been said verbally and not from a blogger. This is from someone who is close to me. So, this is not about jealosy.
Thank you very much for your concern and I'm reading your comments carefully though I'm not ready yet to spoil anyone's blog with my comments since I'm still very moody. Today, I'm going to be the silent reader first.
This posting is one of the postings for Orkid's Cafe and I have kept this posting for a month; hoping that I will find a space for it. Since I don't have anything to present to you guys at this moment, I would like to tell you this true story today. I hope you don't mind, it's a bit lengthy.
Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha.
Enjoy your day.
The material to make a white school scarf had one main weakness - it was very difficult to wash. I got some tips from other girls to apply talcum powder before washing it with water and soap. It worked. But it was painstakingly slow.
We had our PREP class at 3.00pm and at least two tudungs. If it was a rainy season, we had to maintain the cleanliness of one tudung we wore from 7.30pm until the end of the afternoon PREP class which was around 5.00pm.
* Tips: If your daughter is staying in the hostel, get her at least three tudungs, please.
No drips of curry allowed. Otherwise we had to wear a curry stained tudung.
There was a girl called Tasha in my batch. She was extraordinary and she was originated from Kuala Lumpur. She played sports,excelled in Math and she was an English debater. These were something which rarely accomplished by a lower form student in a boarding school.
She had her first boyfriend when she was still in form one. Her boyfriend was a senior in form three. They broke up when she was in form two. So, Tasha was a bit matured about all these things. After she broke up with that senior, she became very confident. No more boyfriend. That was what I respect about her.
I have to also mention that she was beautiful - her skin was flawless white and pinkish, her lips similar to pink tulips bud and there always a laughter in that small eyes. In my opinion, the girls were jealous of her and the boys were taking her as a challenge. Yes, she had weaknesses too. I admit that. As usual, the girls would use that as advantages while the boy would use that as a bait. We led a very typical lifestyle in the hostel, don't you think?
One day, we had chicken curry for our lunch. Tasha sat silently with us in the dining hall. Most girls purposedly sat timidly at other places when she was around, causing her to sit to the nearest place to the boys. Therefore, we had to sit with Tasha at that place all the time because Tasha was our friend.
But we preferred to be around Tasha. At least she was not looking around to check on cute guys like the other girls who pretended they were "timid". She had a boyfriend because the boy liked her, not because she was looking for the boy. I admired her courage. She did not feel a thing if she was sitting near the boys. No infatuation whatsoever.
While we enjoyed that luxurious chicken curry, something flew out of nowhere and landed on Tasha's face near her temple. For all we knew, she was gasping and wincing. We didn't check what the object was.
"Tasha! Kau okay ke?" We stopped eating.
"Takpe...takpe. Aku okay," Tasha said while wiping her face with the baju kurung's cuffs. It smeared with curry. Her one and only available tudung looked horrible.
I turned my back and saw a group of boys laughing at her. They thought it was funny.
One of us checked the object which has been thrown to Tasha. It was chicken drumstick - the flesh has been eaten, the bone has been thrown. I believed the person dipped the bone into curry before throwing it to her.
We stopped eating and helped Tasha carried her tray. The moment she left her place, a group of around twenty boys booed her.
"Booooooooooooooo....boooooooooo...hahahahahaahhaa..." they booed her and they laughed.
Tasha didn't cry. She looked straight and left.
The other girls who hated her laughed too. How mean. How cruel. How utterly stupid! You laughed at another girl because of the boys stupidity? Betrayers!
When we reached the hostel, we wiped off the curry and checked her temple. It was bruised.
"Cakap kat warden. Jom?" one of my friends suggested.
"Takpelah. Biarkan diorang," Tasha said.
She insisted on not doing anything. That was the first time. There were times when it was not a chicken bone (regardless whether it was curry, masak kicap, masak merah, gulai, soup...); they even threw water melon hard skin, the tasteless guava, and fish bones too.
The boys might get straight As in UPSR or PMR before Education Ministry offered them the spot in that so called prestigous school. Yet, they got no brain. That was my conclusion. Good luck to their wives.
Tasha was one of the many girls who has been the object of amusement for the boys. We didn't complain. The girls would never win against our ustazah. She blamed us for the boys' mischievous actions. She said we were the one who asked for it. Really?
Tasha didn't do anything. My senior, who was the most silent girl in the school didn't do anything either. The junior who couldn't stopped reciting Al-Quran (Alhamdulillah, I hope this still continues), did not asked for it too! But the boys won in that throwing party.
Thanks ustazah. You were very fair.
"Betul kau taknak bagi number kau?" he asked me.
"Tak," I replied.
"Kenapa? Aku suka kau dari sekolah lagi," he confessed.
"Kenapa tak cakap?" I demanded an answer.
"Sebab kita sekolah lagi. Kau pun macam tak nak berboyfriend," he said.
"Sekarang apa bezanya?"
"Sekarang kita dah habis sekolah. Dah lain," he smiled.
He was one of the most handsome guy in my class. Yet, he was insolent. Rude!!! While I was eating at the college's cafetaria, he came and sat in front of me and chaste my room mate away from the table. He said, it was between him and me ONLY. I pitied my room mate. She just walked off the moment my ex-schoolmate said that to her.
Was that a proper way of approaching a girl?
"Aku rasa, bila-bila kau jumpa aku pun kau boleh tegur. Kan dah sama uni. Tak perlulah bagi nombor," I said firmly.
"Tapi aku dekat tempat engineering, kau dekat tempat business...mana sama?" He was very reluctant to accept things.
"Kita satu sekolah kan. Kita kawan. Okay?" He looked dissatisfied.
"Kau ingat tak masa sekolah? Budak lelaki suka baling tulang ayam dalam dewan makan?" I asked him.
"Kenapa ye, diorang baling?" I asked.
"Saja...suka-suka. Lagipun ada separuh budak perempuan memang patut diajar macam tu, " he arrogantly said that.
"Kalau yang dibaling tu adik kau, kakak kau, mak kau...itu untuk mengajar jugaklah?"
"Apasal kau cakap macam tu pulak?"
"Taklah...aku cuma nak tengok, ada perubahan tak. Nampaknya tak," I told him.
"Tapi...aku memang suka kau, Sha."
"Aku lagi suka kalau kau respect aku," I smiled.
"Tapi...kau tak respect perempuan. So, kau tak respect aku," and I left.
"So, aku tak dapat number kau, tak dapat kawan dengan kau sebab kita satu sekolah?" he asked with unsatisfied face.
"Ya." My answer was simple.
He sat there until the the cafe lights went off. Someone told me.
I'm surfing my Facebook - there are lots of funny faces, pictures of babies, amazing status updates and replies.
"Tengok-tengok Facebook, tak pernah terfikir nak keluar dengan mana-mana budak sekolah dulu ke? Yang bujang?" Ibu teased me.
I simply replied, "Tak."
When I'm not saying much, ibu knows very well that it is best not to continue. I check my network to see whether Tasha's name is available. None. She is nowhere in scene. We have lost contact ever since she transferred into another boarding school (she was one of the luckiest person who managed to switch between Sekolah Berasrama Penuh).
I was not surprise. Some scars run deep.
Like Tasha's. Like mine.
Any scars, dear friends?