Wednesday, December 09, 2009

sha: misdemeanor...the wife or me?

Delicate White
Originally uploaded by

Synonym (according to Microsoft Word):


He had too much time in his hands, I told myself. Or he was just boring. Or he was just being friendly.

I tried to be not prejudice.

But when I heard the beeping sound of my cellphone, I just couldn't brush off my negative thoughts.

Assalamualaikum. Selamat Malam, Sha. Buat apa tu?

I was silent for a moment. My options were either to reply or not to reply. But both have implications:

To reply
It means that I'm digging my own grave. Replying a message from someone else's husband is not good. Especially when the title is Miss in front of your name. Why? Because people won't blame that someone else's husband. People will say, "gatalnya budak perempuan tu, kacau laki orang." In the end, it's going to be MY reputation which is going to be ruined.

Not to reply
It is against my nature of being one friendly and chatty creature in this world. The person hasn't done anything to suggest that anything will happen. It might be that I'm the person who is uncomfortable with something which is not necessarily going to happen.

So, to reply or not to reply?

My stubborn, principled mind said,

"Reply as a friend."

So, I replied,

"Salam.Selamat Malam. Nak tido nieh."

Then I sent the message.

Another beeping sound,

"Saya call Sha boleh?"

And I replied,

"Pentingkah? Tak eloklah begitu. Cakap saja."

The phone was beeping again,

"Saya call."

Suddenly my phone rang. It was him. I pressed the green button on my phone.

Me: Hello?
Him: Assalamualaikum Sha...
Me: Waalaikumussalam.
Him: Maaf mengganggu.
Me: Tak apa. Pentingkah?
Him: Saya cuma tak ada kawan nak bercakap.
Me: Hoh? Isteri?
Him: Dia tak ada.
Me: Jadi awak call saya?
Him: Ya.
Me: Jangan begitu. Tak manis. Nanti apa dia kata?
Him: Maaf mengganggu Sha.
Me: Sudah mahu tidur. Maaf.
Him: Tak apalah. Take Care, Sha.
Me: Awak pun.
Him: Assalamualaikum...

I replied and put the phone beneath my pillow. Scared? I was. Thinking of the misdemeanor that I have done made me silent. They just got married last year. What happened?

I rested my head and snored. But I woke up again at 3am, thinking that things happened before I slept should've not happened.

I shrugged it off the moment I hugged my bolster.

Couple of weeks after:

I saw him in Pasar Malam...
Him: Sha...
Me: Hai! Eh...beli apa tu?
Him: Ni...nasi campur.
Me: Oooh...beli bungkus makan berdua.

He looked at me with pain in his eyes.

Him: Tak...saya makan sorang...

I suddenly felt guilty.

I saw him in a restaurant...
Him: Jemput makan, Sha?
Me: Tak apa. Sha makan dengan adik Sha.

He gave me a bitter smile.

Me: Banyaknya nasi. Lapar?
Him: Ya. Tak payah makan malam lepas ni.
Me: Isteri bekerja ya?
Him: Entahlah Sha...

When he was feeding himself, I couldn't help looking into his thin features; thinking why was he always alone.

He sms me again...

Me: Awak berani ya, masih sms Sha walau sudah beristeri?
Him: Dia tak tahu.
Me: Kalau dia tahu macam mana?
Him: Dia tak pernah kisah.
Me: Hari minggu. Tak bawa dia berjalan?
Him: Dia ke Kuala Lumpur, dengan kawan-kawan.
Me: Awak tak ikut?
Him: Dia tak perlukan saya...
Me: Hish, jangan cakap begitu!
Him: Dia tak pernah ada...
Me: Awak perlu pujuk dia.
Him: Siapa mahu pujuk saya?

I was silent. Then I stopped replying the message. I still have the image of him in baju Melayu, shaking the Tok Kadi's hand. It was not yet a year and he was saying that.

I told myself, "Men...they will create excuses. Don't buy it." Just avoid the misdemeanor, Sha!

One day, I saw his car nearby - WTF 2798.

A sweet lady in her early twenties came out of the car. She was wearing a pink tank top and three quarter jeans. Her body was curvy - it was small and big at the right place, flat where it should be and bouncy where it should be as well. For me, it was perfect. A twinge of sadness filled the empty space in my heart. If only I have THAT body.

Her lips were pink, she was fair and her skin was flawless. Her nice hair tied with pink ribbons. The angelic face could certainly made a man forget about so many things. She was damn beautiful and I was about to come to her to pass the compliment. But I didn't want her to think that I was crazy. A woman is passing a compliment to another woman about her beauty? She might think that I'm a lesbian. No!

Then I heard her giggles. A guy in his mid-twenties was approaching her, smiling wickedly while resting his hand on her shoulder. He said something and she slapped his shoulders before caressing his cheeks. Then he leaned close to her while she leaned her back on the car.

I became a distracted and confused at the same time.

"Sha..." I heard a voice behind me.

Then I saw him. Behind the cool, smiling face, I could see red flames crept up the collar.

"Hai awak...makan sini ke?" I asked dumbly.

He nodded.

"Sha okay hari ni?" he asked while looking intently into my eyes. I took away my gaze from his handsome face; thinking that I shouldn't stare at him.

"Okay..." I said while looking at the ground.

"Dah makan?" his voice was soothing.

"Dah," I said curtly while trying to look to the front. The girl was still giggling.

"Tunggu siapa?" he asked again.

"Kawan," the reply was simple.



"Awak takut nak jawab soalan saya?"


"Kenapa banyak diam sekarang?" he asked.

"Tuuuu...dah sampai," I pointed at the girl.

His expression changed. Then he smiled bitterly.

"Dia tak kisah. Tak pernah," his voice was almost a whisper.

"Tapi tak elok kan awak dok bercakap dengan saya depan dia," I said.

His eyes were dark with mystery. Yes, sad eyes. But I knew I shouldn't show my compassion.

"Jaga diri, Sha..." he said slowly.

I looked at where he was going. He walked to WTF with the same expression. The girl pinched the other guy for the last time. When the other guy saw him, he quickly walked away. The girl was still looking flirtatiously at the other guy when he opened the door for her.

He looked at her with a murderous expression. She looked as if she didn't care.

While I walked to the bank nearby, I saw him again. He bought a pound of bread from 7 Eleven. When he looked at me, he lifted the bread with a frustrating look. He entered the car and I heard the fight.

Both of them were shouting and screaming towards each other.

The car left the place. Speeding.

That night...

Him: Thanks Sha...
Me: Kenapa?
Him: Awak kawan yang baik, tak pernah mengkhianati...
Me: Hah?
Him: Saya rasa dia cemburukan awak...

I smiled at my phone. He got his wife back.
And a beautiful lady is jealous with the fat me.

But my smile wavered a bit.

Should it happened that way even when you're married?
The misdemeanor of a wife has been replaced by a jealousy?

p/s: Why am i having this imagination of tuberose (bunga harum sundal malam) when I'm typing this posting? Err...scary!


sI tEDI said...

sha.. jangankan kata gelaran cik.. gelaran puan pun x manis terima call dr lelaki yg dah berkeluarga.

tapi lelaki.. selalu beri alasan masalah rumahtangga untuk mendekati perempuan lain.. :)


imHepPie said...

suwett..sha da satukan dorg smula hehe..

num plat kete tu yg xley blah haha

Pocket said...

selalu kita terjumpa ngan keadaan teman kita bercampur ngan 'teman'nya yang lain... n when we ask.. the answer of
'oh he was just a friend' always saves his/her neck

but yet we did saw the hand touch and the naughty lips movement that is telling something.
hell u cant beat the excuse sis...
'oh he was just a friend'

but the border from a friend to a 'friend' is quite grey isnt it, i mean
'oh that was just a friend' can always save one till the very end.

i dunno why but that song from VE and TooPhat 'just a friend' kept on playing in my mind as i'm writing this :D

a wife misdemeanor replaced by jealousy? somehow woman can do it but we men cant.
woman can ask 'who called?' with killer look but we men have to control it even if she answered 'oh that was just a friend'

regardless of the wording she used 'rindu ker? '
kenapa tanya? '
yes he is here, '
wished u called last nite'

lupekanje said...

this imagination was sponsored by... sha herself... uwaaaahh...
wateva sha, somtimes I do think, what you're telling us here, in every entry, was a true story...its not only your imaginations. Its a true story that really happened..! If not to u... to somebody or somebodies out there...:) ..

en_me said...

salam akak chery tewww..

zeqzeq said...

hati-hati di jalanraya,
Sha memang baik, memula jaga hati lepas itu..

Cik Qemm said...

kenapa ek?
men will create their excuses?
i wonder why someone else' hubby/fiancee/bf nak flirt dgn org lain.

tapi girl pun ade jugak yg begitu..

but at the end, its not him yg people blame, its the girl yg dingorat kena blame.

worried bout a friend.somehow ade similarity dgn cerita ni. but she's too friendly.

Super Nia Hana said...

Men...they will create excuses. Don't buy it"

ini yg watashi akan pegang lepas nih...

dah kawen sila wat cara kawen!

Kujie said...

owh... sha, kak jie pernah berada dlm situasi mcm tu

serba salah - sedar status dan keadaan.

nasihat mudah - isteri2 yang abaikan suami - sebenarnya setelah hidup dgn lelaki lebih 18thn, kak jie mengenal satu sifat mereka yang ramai perempuan tak sedar

'lelaki lebih manja dan sensitif' dia perlukan isteri yang bijak untuk menempatkan dirinya pada kedudukan isteri, ibu anak2nya, kawan dan kadang2 bertindak seperti ibunya.

cheqna said...


x tau nak kata apa..

macam hot chat kat hotfm pagi ni..

sya said...

betul sha..
kalau lelaki taknak jaga diri dia,
baiklah kita yang menjaga diri kita.

sebab, yang dituduh nanti ialah kita, bukan dia...

LotsOfLove-Pearls said...

Salam Sha..
Laki ni mcm2..
Nak layan pun susah..
Layan pun susah gak..

Kalau laki dah kawen, better abaikan jek..


*Miss Sha..

Sasha said...

selagi lelaki tu bergelar suami org baiklah jgn menjebakkan diri ngan situasi yg membahayakan... biar dia deal ngan problem dia sndiri... x yah nak susah2 peningkan kepala ngan masalah org lain... life too short for that kind of things... btw...i enjoy ur post everytime... you are so damn good at writing... kalau Sha jd novelist... akak akan jd first buyer!

~0~ said...


[ o k e d ] said...

laki boleh kawen 4..
dapat payung emas di syurga kalo 1st wife izinkan tuk 2nd..

tapi kalo tak berkemampuan..baiklah sorang je

Dee said...

mcm kena je n3 sha arini dgn hotchat hot fm pagi will create lots of reasons just to please or attract the other gender..just becareful..n if you can avoid..please do..

imagine this..ur father have another girl/lady behind ur mom's hurts isn't, don't do it...

ini pesanan utk anak2 gadis di luar sana dan juga isteri2 org yg juga masih bermain cinta dgn suami org..

Yunus Badawi said...

Semua manusia normal perlukan perhatian. Berikanlah perhatian kita kepada mereka yg berhak.

psst - I don't think you are fat

~LP Lum~ said...

huhuhu... itu ar dunia.. slalunya sang isteri n org sekeliling akn pndang semcm aje kalo tau kite yg msh cik nie berbual atau msg ngan sum1 yg dah brgelar hak org..
tp kekdg trpikir gak, kalo dah kawen, xkn xblh nak borak ngan kwn2 lma mcm dedlu?? xkan dah kawen, trus ptus kwn?? :)

ps: but 1 of my fren did.. married n our frenship broke.. how sad...~

Jasnia said...

Pilihan ada di tangan Sha...Tapi, nasihat akak...Jangan bermain dengan api. Kelak terbakar diri sendiri.

~ mizzAmy ~ said...

"Men...they will create excuses. Don't buy it."

suka lah dengan words tuh. nak pinjam boleh? hehehe..

btw kak sha, it's true. susah kita ni kalau nak kawan dengan laki org. sebolehnya jangan berkawan. tutup kes terus..

tapi, amy pun dalam situasi ala-ala ur entri ni. i mean, 'his' ex-gf is coming and looking for him after she dumped and married to another guy. dengan alasan tak bahagia. owwh, patutkah?? dah kawin buat cara kawin. awak dah la bini orang.

~ mizzAmy ~ said...

"Men...they will create excuses. Don't buy it."

suka lah dengan words tuh. nak pinjam boleh? hehehe..

btw kak sha, it's true. susah kita ni kalau nak kawan dengan laki org. sebolehnya jangan berkawan. tutup kes terus..

tapi, amy pun dalam situasi ala-ala ur entri ni. i mean, 'his' ex-gf is coming and looking for him after she dumped and married to another guy. dengan alasan tak bahagia. owwh, patutkah?? dah kawin buat cara kawin. awak dah la bini orang.

mier@merr said...

huhu... perlu begitu? xsalahkan lelaki gk...
yg pompuan pn..kne la wat tggungjawab btol2...
kalau da wat yg si dia tetap memandang yg lain... xde ape yg perlu disesalkan lepas tu... si dia tu yg buta menilai kasih syg isteri...

google said...

ada pepatah kata...

"cari le kecantikan yang ada pada isteri... bukan cari isteri yang cantik..."....

ada setengah tu yang kata..

" ko dah ada isteri.... 80% perfect... tapi ko cari yang 20% tu juga.. kenapa?..."..

sbb yang 20% tu yg mengembirakan... bukan yang 80% tu...

kualiti tu lebih baik dari kuantiti

ntah le....pakcik pun x paham..huhuhuh ....

julietchun said...

terjebak ngan suami org? mintak dijauhkan.

Watierman said...

I know you are a good person....!!!Jauhkan diri dari hasutan Syaitan......Amin!!!

Anonymous said...

i only like to komen about the pic> i like it!
bab husband org tu> i dont understand why he did that..

[asam]pedas said...

sha..mungkin ada sesuatu dalam diri u yang takde pada isteri dia..
dia belum tahu tahap cinta seorang isteri pada suami...wacehhhh :)

ashie023 said...

"p/s: Why am i having this imagination of tuberose (bunga harum sundal malam) when I'm typing this posting? Err...scary!"
Omo..aku pong jadik takut jugak nih...oh no..

mm..aku penah jugak nasihat laki org yg gatal sgt nk kenal kita walhal bini dier lagi lawa dari aku..ciskek betul..konon kesunyianlah, bini xde umahlah..bla bla bla...last2 aku jadik ustazah jap bagi tazkirah..amik ko..

sueanne said...


lelaki orang = hak milik orang

walaupun kite just nak berkawan dengan dia, tapi lama kelamaan akan wujud juga perasaan sayang antara satu sama lain..di sebelah kita or sebelah lelaki baik elakkan kalau jmpe lelaki jenis ni..

out of topic : psl kad tue, sha pos bebila pun hal la..thanks in advance..hehehe

LOVE2COOK said...

I don't blame guys alone...some gals are the same too!

They always prefer to look at other's partner rather than seeing their own! And they are also good in giving sentimental reasons just to get attention of others.

So, Sha...beware of this kinda people! :)

a.z.r.i.n.a.03.07 said...

sila jauhi married man okey !
unless kalau Sha + his wife redha..

** its happened to my sis..Pity but she's redha ..insyallah dia dapat payung emas..

Neeza Shahril said...

Alhamdulillah, Sha pandai bawak diri..
bahaya Sha bila berhadapan dengan lelaki ni especially laki orang. They will say so many things. It could be true, it could be not.
But, the fact is, they have a bonded relationship....
it's good yang wife dia jealous.. mungkin before this dia ingat husband dia tak laku kot.. ;)

Cik Biol said...


iza~de~bintang said...

Sha, kita sama2 "chomel". Adeh banyak betul yg sama ni :D

Elok tak usah layan sebab kita mungkin jadi tempat eskapisme (wah dah di melayu kan, Sha jangan gelak sampai jatuh kerusi) dia jer. Dapat semula apa yang dia hajat, dia bye2 ja kat kita huhu.

Jard The Great said...

salam... i think i got addicted your blog.. ehehe..

nice storytelling..

Marvelous! hehe.. got me rooted till the end..

nmz said...

faham apa yang disampaikan ini
dia patut bg smua syg itu dkt isteri dia..

and one true thing
God knows best for us. :)

Amieynna Amin said...

takutnye klu kiter dlm keadaan tsebut..
even klu org tu pakwe sumone pon, kite takut nak sms or ckp lebey2..
mmg niat kite juz sms sbg rakan..
tp org kata ape?
ermm..kite hidup sbb kata org ke?
_konpius lak_