Wednesday, March 03, 2010

sha: that's not my name!

I have been hit by this question from someone I truly respect yesterday:

" You pernah tak kenal dengan sorang ni...dah suka then tiba-tiba dia kata dia nak kahwin...?"

I would say that I was not that shock when this person was asking these type of question. I mean, it is normal for people to ask me this kind of question but I never expected this to come from him. not him.

So, I started to think about how to answer the question. The first thing which flew out of my mouth was about my unforgotten crush in college and Mr. Hakuto - whom I knew in school. Both were not meant to be with me regardless how close I was to them. I guess I was better at being a friend than this lovey-dovey girlfriend;p

Stok kawan - say some guys!

Actually, I had something else in mind. I wanted to share with him but I was embarrassed. Well, typing this posting is not easy as well. However, after considering that most people will benefit from this story, I believe this is the right time to share.

During the first few months of being Mr. Sepet's girlfriend, I had to face one cold truth: my boyfriend was simply a charmer and a people person. He was friendly, caring especially to his co-workers and delegates, and he smiled a lot!

So, when I thought that he was the cruellest creature alive - most people would declined. They (especially the women) would say, "He is very kind and helpful." They would talk about their boyfriends and husband with him. The best thing about him was he would listen;)

One of the girls was his co-worker, Lynn. Lynn was sweet, pretty and she was someone that the guys classified as "manja". She is very soft spoken and she smiled a lot.

But she rarely smiled to me and I often wondered why. I smiled to her!

One day, I came to work early and managed to see my sweetheart on the floor. He nodded and gave me a small smile. Well, even though we were working at the same work place, we would never show it off. We knew that people already knew about our relationship but we maintained the professionalism most of the time.

I was trying to cover my expression when Lynn came over to his place and touched his shoulder. Suddenly, I felt the heat crept on my OWN shoulder. Yes, I knew that was normal - at least when it came to my boyfriend. They always came and asked things. But, body contact? Woooo....with that kind of soft touch on his shoulder? Woooo....those shoulders were mine!!!

I was silent until he came to my place and told me he was about to go home (we were working different hours). He recognised my rigidity but as usual he just shrugged things off. Later, when he called me during my break time, he told me, "Lynn belikan I turkey sandwich tadi!"

The jealous me answered, "Mesti sedap kan?"

He just laughed. I guess he didn't realised what was happening.

One thing happened after another. Since we were working in the same building, I could see how much Lynn was trying to get close to him. His delegates were telling me that they had lunch together. People asked me whether I was close to Lynn since he was close to her. Honestly, all those incidents made me angry and ashamed at the same time. But I had to be rationale. My boyfriend has always been misinterpreted because of his worldly personality.

And if Lynn was just a friend, discussing her with my boyfriend was impossible. His friends were his priority and that was our rules in relationship.

I must obey.


I was sitting in front of my boyfriend one weekend when he received a text message. When I looked at him, he was smiling to his phone. Nasty thoughts came into mind. I loathed the grin on his face. My bubbly mood changed and as usual, the jealousy was making me more quiet than ever.

He didn't realised that.

So, when he went to the toilet after a movie, I held his hand phone with a deep curiosity. He received a text message and I had the urge of reading the message. As I was dwelling whether to or not to press the button, my darling came and smiled.

"You nak baca message tu kan?" he asked.

I looked at him straight in the eye and said, "Yup." My lips were trembling. I felt like crying. Well, I managed to handle other girls perfectly well, but ever since Lynn came into the picture, hell broke loose.

We were in the car and he showed me his handphone.

"F, kan best kalau awak yang nak kahwin dengan Lynn...."

My tears were on the brink. God...the girl has guts! It was no wonder she didn't shake my hand when my boyfriend was introducing me to her!!!

"I dah dapat benda ni berbulan-bulan dah. Minggu depan Lynn nak kawen..." he began.

"Jangan cerita lagi boleh tak. Sha taknak dengar semua ni...." I started to get up and switched on the radio.

"Lynn is unhappy dengan tunang dia. I was just trying to help but it turned out this way. I'm sorry...I know you're hurt and you heard enough, " he carefully explained.

What happened to the chatty Sha?She gave Sepet a silent treatment.

I was watching DVD when the company held its annual dinner. Sepet went there with his friends. He called me when he got back at 2 a.m.

"Jom...I belikan you satay. You tak makan satu hari dah..." he consoled me. I was silent again.

"You tak tango tadi ke?" I asked him. The theme for the dinner was Latin.

"Tak. I duduk dengan budak-budak ni je. Lepak ngan my geng..."

"Ooooo...." I was silent again.

"You marah lagi ke? Jangan macam ni boleh tak. You have been handling things well before this!" Sepet could be temperamental sometimes.

"Someone is wishing you to be her husband. What else can I say...." I said quietly.

"Am I wishing her to be my wife? Have you asked that question?" he raised his voice a bit. I kept my silent again. When I reached home, I cried my heart out.

When I reached the office the following week, my colleague called me.

"Your man has been a very good boy, " she laughed.

"You mean?"

"He was with the men all the time. Didn't do anything you should be concerned of. Except that Lynn was trying to ask him to send her home but he said no straight away."

"Are you sure you're talking about MY MAN?"

"Positive. Look, I know you're angry but he has done all he could. She told me she liked your man and regretting the decision to marry her fiancé. But your man made it clear that you're the one."

"Yeah right...."

"Hey, this Lynn girl is seriously attracted to your man. But she won't leave her fiancé. She told me she just wanted to be sure that she is still wanted. "

Which appeared to be the case for the next two weeks. I have been patient to see that he held his breath when Lynn called him every time he talked to me. Or when Lynn sweetly text him when we were together.

So much for the uncertainty before marriage.

p/s: Dah nak kahwin, perlu lagi ke boyfriend lain?


Anonymous said...

ermmm.... boleh buat drama ni.
Harap2nya lynn tu berbahagia sekarang ni, dan sha pun insya allah akan berbahagia juga

Cik Qemm said...

qemmal pun slalu tertanya, dh nak kawin perlu ke ada bf/gf lain?

for sepet who can handle the scenario well, at last after the marriage i guess sepet and lynn tak mesra2 dah kan?

but what if the new bf/gf is deeply in love? poor him/her. tapi diorg tak boleh buat apa sebab couple tu dah kawin da.

im worried about a friend who falls into this scenario(in sepet's role). tp qemmal tak boleh buat apa. just be quiet and pray for the friend's happiness.

but at the first place, bile dah nak kawin, tak payah la nak ada gf/bf lain. and the third person pun supposely jauhkan diri dgn org yg dah nk kawin tu.senang cerita.

but people says, if it is about love, susah kite nk predict. love is blind, kan. whether org tu nak kawin, or dah berkahwin. diorg tak nampak dah kot.


~LP Lum~ said...

salam kak sha~

hehehe... dah nak kawen but nak psang yg len.. kalo dah tau nak psng2 yg len xsah ar kawen dlu... :p

wish 2 kak sha smga kak sha epy sokmo... :)

aBoi said...

should not be happening..

benda dah lepas.. doakan semuanya sedang berbahagia sekarang..

Dee said...

hmm..sbb tu lah kalo ada masalah ngan bf or husband..jgn cerita sgt ngan lelaki..nti jd lain..mula2 simpati..then fall in love..adoilah..pastu start scandal..affair, cubalah elak kalo bole..

Arjuna Qaseh said...

hepi sellau k.

Erna said...

salam sha acik kata tak perlu...

Anonymous said...

biasanya kawen mcm tu x kekal kot
yalah... x yakin dengan keputusan
mesti ada sumthing jadi nanti

Pocket said...

have it ever occured to you that the colleague who called may be setting up your mind. who was doing it? well MrSepet definitely, but then again i dont know the 'friend' so its not my place to strongly believe my proposal just now.

have it ever occur to you that marriage is sometime a stop in the track of the train... one who followed the track must stop there and move forward.
Sometime the train does go off track and when they does... they meet with guys like sepet.
but that is off road.
an adventure,
in the end, they have to step back on the track... following the next station, which is marriage, and soon after that is the kids.

Not all people can do the thing that happen in the 'bridesmaid'. the situation where the girl is going to get married. found her true luv a night before the wedding and calling it off cold and dry. there's too much thing to consider.

one can always fall for the wrong guy,
why cant one fall for the taken guy?
i know one case or two:D

in the end i commented about lyn rather then about u... sorry:(

Anonymous said...

first in mind~how could she be doing such thing? didnt she knew how to behave like a lady rather then bitch? somehow it just breaking heart sometimes. dugaan. tabahkan hati kak.

papabear said...

hi long time haven't been here. me back to blogging hahaha... have a nice day and see you around!

~ mizzAmy ~ said...

kak sha, amy pun pelik dengan certain people. if you're not happy with the person u want to married, then why u decided nak kawin? another thing, dah ada tunang, kenapa still nak gatal-gatal ngorat lelaki lain? the worse part, boyfriend orang pulak tuh.

and for a man, kita tak leh salahkan diorg sebab lelaki ni memang jenis caring tak bertempat. tambah pulak dengan sikap manja2 and so on kan.

amy hope sangat amy jumpa lelaki yg setia. and for u kak sha, hope kak sha pun happy with the person u love the most. ;)

Miss ... said...

hmm..mcm2 hal..agaknya ada yg dia nk kat sepet tu tak ada dlm diri fiance dia huhu

Quiyah & Hasrul said...

kwang kwan kwan..i, Q.. finally understood..