Monday, May 31, 2010

sha: the chubby cheeks pain

Jayantii Laughing
Originally uploaded by premasagar
It happened on weekend. I was eating nasi kerabu with my parents at a Kelantanese restaurant when I heard a shriek of laughter behind me. Ayah choked on his drinks. Ibu frowned. I asked why.

"Tuuuuu...." I followed ayah's lips direction.

A girl slapping a boy's shoulder while laughing hysterically. I smiled. Yup, elderly won't like this kind of situation in front of them. Honestly, if they know that I have done that a couple of times when I was young, they might strangle me!

But then again I rarely slap a man's shoulder. Why? I value shoulders. People carry burdens and responsibilities mostly using their shoulders.

Shoulders make people look stable.
Shoulders make people look normal.
Shoulders make men look tough.
Shoulders make women look slim (that explains why I don't look slim! Hehehe)
Shoulders make children look like school children. (with their school bags, of course)

However, I need to admit that I can't control my own laughter. Someone says something and my voice cracked high pitched across Petronas Twin Tower! I'm not sure why I just can't control myself. I can't laugh in a lady-like manner and most of the time it's embarassing and it's hard!

It's embarassing because people will start looking at you when you laugh.And it's hard because the harder you don't want to laugh, the harder you will have to control yourself.
Talk about chubby cheeks pain. about heart pain.

When Kurina had this words flew out of her mouth,

"Tengok I. You know, Farid cakap, apalah Sha tu...gelak kuat-kuat. Cuba contohi Kurina, ayu aje."

I felt like vomitting. The lady was talking high of herself.

Somehow, I wanted to say this,

"Taknaklah contohi Kurina. At least Sha punya masalah, gelak kuat je. Maybe sebab tu tak cukup ayu untuk jatuh hati pada setiap lelaki yang melintas kat depan dia."

or colloquial speaking,

"Aku gelak besar, tapi aku tak ikut mana-mana jantan beb!!!"

But then again, folks, maybe that is my problem. Not ayu enough to attract any Tom, Dick or Harry. Maybe Farid was right.

But selling cheap should not be the practice kan?

Chubby cheeks pain should not get in my way.
Maybe Sha needs to change to ayu type a bit (which means she is not being herself lah!):P

p/s: Thanks for inspiring this posting, Fa:)

Sunday, May 30, 2010

sha: the romance section

the romance section, originally uploaded by J the B.

Name: Sha

Age: 28 years old.

Today's activity:
1. Went to work normal hours.
2. Went to Kinokuniya.
3. Went to Sushi King.
4. Traveled in Koc Wanita Sahaja from KL Sentral to Seremban.
5. Served Pak Teh and family teh o and murtabak.
6. Ate Kuih Telinga Keling as a snack.

Wait...wait...wait...did you mention Kinokuniya?
Yes, I did.

Which section did you go?
The romance section.

Why did you go there?
Because I was finding for romance novel.

Why did you search for romance novel?
I was in need of one. I was in the mood of reading one.

So, what was the title of the book?
Sugar Daddy by Lisa Kleypas.

Mmmmhmmm...she is not that famous, right?
Yup, maybe she is not as famous as Ken Follett or J.K. Rowling or even Stephenie Meyers.

How's the book?
Hmmm...quite okay. So far it is not disappointing at all. It's logical.'

Tell me more!!!
Shut up....I just started. Will talk to you later.

Why are you so moody, Sha?
I am tired. I need sleep.

Are you saying...
Yes,what I'm trying to imply is that I need a book which puts me to sleep. But this one doesn't. Not yet.

So, the book is fun?
So far, yes.

What makes you read romance novel out of the sudden?
Because of this...
"Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku, kurniakanlah aku abang ipar yang boleh membahagiakan kakak aku. Amin...."

Who said that?
Adik and my cousins!

He desperately wanted a brother in law.

What else did he say?
"...mintak-mintaklah orangnya best, sportsman yang boleh main game ngan kitorang dan boleh buat kakak gelak setiap masa..."

How do you feel, Sha?
Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....I don't know.

I don't know, folks.

Friday, May 28, 2010

sha: he is getting married today!

Originally uploaded by asma·kr
"Aku nak kawen," he said.

My face was experessionless. At last, the time has come.But I was expecting this. What? After several months of engagement, he definitely will tie the knot at any time. But I didn't expect him to contact me. Well, at least not after series of argument that we had especially on his engagement day.

I was at the corner - thinking whether to or not to continue our conversation. At last, I did. What the hell? At least he was making the effort to contact a best friend. Well, it was not something I expected, by the way. I was expecting him to forget about me and just continued his love planning:)

"Bila?" I asked.

"This week. Jumaat akad nikah," he said carefully.

I laughed hard. And he laughed shakily.

"Apasal kau gelak?" he asked.

"Apasal kau pon gelak?" I asked back.

"Aku tak sangka aku dah nak kawen, Sha," he said while holding his laughter.

"Aku gelak sebab aku takleh imagine ko nak salam tok kadi!" I laughed hard.

"Gelak..gelak...kau suka ye!" he sounded annoyed and funny at the same time.

"Tak...I'm happy for you tapi aku rasa ko ni macam budak-budak lagi. Boleh kawen ke?"

And we talked. Talked about the days we met. Talked about the days when both of us were watching football together. Talked about our bad days. Talked about the good days. But we didn't talk about our argument.

We utilised the whole week before last night...

"World Cup nanti bolehlah bangun ni?" I teased him.

"InsyaAllah...boleh," he said confidently.

"Aku takleh kejut ko dah...ko kena suruh wife ko kejut, k!"

"Okay...aku dah train dia...dia dah boleh tgk bola..." he said.

"Baguslah. Tp ko takleh expect dia akan ikut setiap masa. Penat jaga malam semata2 nak tgk bola," I provided an advice.

"Boleh dia takleh la nak jd cam ko..." I felt a distinct feeling I couldn't explain.

Then we hung up.

Before we slept last night...

"Aku baru lepas pakai inai..." he said.

"Hehehehe..." I laughed.

"Selamat pengantin baru, esok...Jaga diri, k!"

"Datanglah, Sha...aku nak kau datang!"

I smiled to the phone.

A good ending for Ketupat Story. He came back to me. Alhamdulillah.
I wish that she would understand...that I'm just his best friend.
Who will definitely let him go.
Even for him to find love.

Selamat Pengantin Baru, my best friend.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

sha: nyanyi lagu umbrella tanda sha dah tua?

Hingga ke saat ini
Pelbagai persoalan
Tak henti melanda
Untuk ku memikirkannya

My assistant asked for my permission to bring a small radio to work. She said she needs music to work. I said, why not, as long as it won't disturb other people's work. And since we're in separate room, the only person whose going to be disturbed is me:)

Kau memilih diriku di atas dasar apa
Apakah kerana cinta
Atau pelepas sepi cuma

So, I asked her to select HotFM or any Malay radio channel. Yes, I listen to English songs, but I prefer to listen to Malay songs when I'm working. Why? I just don't know. Perhaps I would like to reduce the amount of Rihanna's influence in my eardrum. Or I would like to stop Lady Gaga's influence in me because I can't stop singing Bad Romance:P

For a record, I am too much in love with Timbaland and Katy Perry's If We Ever Meet Again:)

Seumpama dedaunan yang telah gugur bertaburan
Membiarkan ranting dimamah usang
Apakah semua itu akan terjadi padaku
Andainya benar maka tepatlah apa yang kuramalkan

But the radio needs tuning. Yes, listening to Fara Fauzana in the morning was nice, it made me laugh. But there were times when I heard Negaraku or Sari Berita Utama. I don't know what station it is but it is definitely my late grandfather's station!:P

Waktu bersamamu banyak benar kenangan yang kita ciptakan bersama
Dan satu darinya engkau bersyahdu
Bahawa aku takkan kehilanganmu
Susah payah kita semai benih cinta
Menempuh dugaan
Akhirnya kau tinggalkan
Sia-sialah ku bina istana cinta
Andai insan lain di hatimu bertakhta

I couldn't be bothered. Lantaklah. The most important thing was for my work to be done.

Hingga ke saat ini
Ku masih mengenangkan
Detik-detik terindah
Kesudahan aku parah

Consequently, when I started to show my interest towards the songs from Umbrella, the people in the room were asking me,

"Lagu apa ni?"

I replied, " Ramalanku Benar Belaka."

They asked again, "Siapa nyanyi?"

"Umbrella," I answered.

"Kak Sha, tak pernah dengar pun lagu ni?! Lagu lama zaman Kak Sha ke?"

Huiishhh...friends...dengar lagu Umbrella tanda-tanda sudah tua ke?

They haven't heard me singing Ahmad Jais' song yet:P

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

sha: aku wanita biasa

The girl handed me the bill, "RM22.40," she said. I flipped through the notes in my purple purse, thinking twice. I haven't got the time nor the money to spend too much on ice-cream these days. But I needed something to celebrate;)

Putra LRT was having its worst day of service just now. I was planning to go home early when there was an announcement stating that I had to wait another hour should I need to get into an LRT. My lungs wanted to burst the moment I saw hundreds of people queuing for tickets in front of me. I immediately took the escalator and headed to KLCC.

While walking through the hussle, I craved for peace. Maybe I was too tired, I couldn't stand noise and the surrounding. So, I let my legs chose its own destiny. They chose Haagen Dasz;)

Aku ini wanita biasa
Bisa sakit luka karena cinta
Dingin sepi kerap menyapa
Air mata jatuh lukisan raga

Yes, folks. I couldn't helped feeling lonely when I licked Strawberry Cheesecake and Belgian Chocolate just now. I saw a couple who fed each other Ice-Cream Fondue; thinking that I would look definitely weird if I ordered that and ate alone.

I saw...
...a couple who wore yellow t-shirts
...a couple who took pictures while licking chocolate ice-cream. They planned to put the pictures in Facebook.
...a boyfriend who hugged the girlfriend too closely until the cotton fabric of the gilfriend's shirt showed its crease
...a husband who fed strawberries into the pregnant wife's mouth

Argggghhh...Haagen Dasz was not the place I was supposed to be.
I started to hear "Kau Ada Dia" and Kris Dayanti's Aku Wanita Biasa in my ears.
Well, Sha is exaggerating! Hearing voices is the sign of a person who is going lunatic. Sha is not crazy yet! Well, not crazy...but definitely a sad girl.

Liking someone who doesn't like you is preasurising. Definitely.

Then I bit the crispy almond flakes and the blossom basket. My vision cleared. My hands clasped Lisa Kleypas' Smooth Talking Stranger tightly, thinking that I should read my book instead of watching a magic called affection and love.

Then I saw...

A girl who brought an ice cream to her partner who wouldn't stop talking through the phone. The girl licked the ice cream with pleading eyes but the partner was ignoring her. Then he walked by before he stopped somewhere near me.

"Sayang...she is still with me. I know...I know...I layan dia makan ice-cream dulu, nanti I datang jumpa you, okay! Alaa...kejap je. I tak sayang dia, I sayang you..."

The blossom basket in my mouth crushed fiercely.

Yup, I worked hard to pay for the expensive ice-cream today. I went to a place which soothed my lonely heart. But I didn't expect to learn a lesson:

"It's better to be lonely than betrayed!"

My Strawberry Cheesecake rested in the Blossom Basket had never tasted nicer;)

Kadang ku kuat setegar karang
Kadang ku rapuh lemah liar merana

Monday, May 24, 2010

sha: the purple honda civic

Purple Honda Civic
Originally uploaded by dziner
Someone talked about this before. It was about what colour do you need to wear to work. I mean, there are lots of wonderful working attires out there but does everything suits you?

My bosses were teasing me about the red colour shirt I was wearing to work last week. My assistant called me "Red Riding Hood" without the word Little as I am not one little person. I had then teased her that I am supposed to be the wolf instead of the grandmother or the cute girl.

Yes, my assistant used to say that I'm too strict. So the wolf suits me in contrast to the other wonderful things in the folklore!:P

Okay..okay. So, folks, how do you dress to work?

I might be bias when I'm making this statement but I don't particularly like the way the government servants are dressing to work these days. Nope...nope...don't get me wrong, folks. My mum is a government servant too. But what I'm trying to say is that sometimes the less is better. In private sector, you can be criticized by your superior if you don't dress right.

I remember being in my mother's office when she worked for the ministry in KL (before they moved to Putrajaya). I saw this glittering baju kurungs, strands of accessories like crystals and pearls and inches of make ups. Then I asked my mum,

"Mesti dia kerja hebat kan?!"

My mum smiled while she shook her head, "Itu kerani ibu."

Errrrr....??? Kerani is a noble work, folks. But she looked like a Pengarah:P

Then there came my experience of seeing teachers who wore organza kebaya to school. Chiffon beaded was one of the favourite fabric too. I mean, I don't mind seeing pretty people but seeing ones with Majalah Pengantin outfits everyday made me wonder whether I was the one who was not up to the standard of fashion.

Yes, maybe I am.

So, I made a point of setting up colours for myself: The Colour of The Car.

Cars - especially the expensive and elegant ones came in neutral colours. Black, White, Silver, Bronze, Red. They are colours but they have such significance. Have you ever had this occassion when a friend is driving a Yellow Satria and everyone recognised that person by glimpse?

Yup, I believe the colour of a car is safe to wear to work. Easy, natural and simple.

Therefore, even though I love purple so much, I don't think I will drive a purple Honda Civic. Same goes to working outfit.

It depends on the shade and my own physical appearance.

One won't want to be called a Christmas Tree:p

What colour are you wearing to work today, folks?

Sunday, May 23, 2010

sha: purple potato salad!

Purple Potato Salad
Originally uploaded by Soma.R
I have always admired the way my aunt carries herself. Since I was small, I dreamed of being like her. She is one iron lady who have never give up on things, climbed her career ladder in her own way whereby her own way has taught me that nothing is easy in life.

She is in number three in my list after my ibu and my late grandmother.

Despite all that, there is another reason on why I like her so much: her potato salad. Hehe. When I was small, she made introduced me to something called barbecue. And when she was serving me with poultry, it would be complement with a lovely potato salad.

Folks, I'm going to work seven days this week. I need some strength to survive. So, I'm going to drag myself to bed tonight because I'm too exhausted.

But there was one thing which cheered me up: barbecue! My aunt has invited me to her house for barbecue last night. There was no potato salad - there was mashed potato instead.

And good a words of wisdom.

God knows how much I need morale support these days. I'm exhausted!

Is there any way I can ask for a purple potato salad from her next time?

You don't always get what you want;)

* online from the office...huhu...

Saturday, May 22, 2010

sha: six years ago...

Look at this picture. Six years ago the purple girl had a something called a cheekbone. She had one chin and her baju kurung size was either S or M.

She was the bridesmaid. When this picture was taken, she was still a student who had innocent dreams of becoming a career woman. At the point when this picture was taken, she was so strong to hold all the bitterness that she felt inside her.

And that was because she had support from someone. That someone was the bride in this picture. The bride is a sister that she never had;)

Today, is the bride's anniversary. The bridesmaid is now having double chin and her eyebrows remain as thick as the pair you're seeing in the picture. She is no longer a dreamer, she is a dream chaser:P

And that is because is still having the bride's support. She is still the sister she never had;)

Happy Anniversary, sya_annur.

The past six years was wonderful with your presence in my life. Not to mention the bridegroom who acts like a brother and the cute nephew and niece who are calling me Aunty Sha.

I never thought I would be so lucky.

May your days fill with happiness and joy...and of course, blessings from Allah.

Arghhh...sangat tension kerana tak dapat temankan dia weekend ini!!! (but I'll cover next time, okay?)

p/s: Kelakar kan mekap ku di zaman dulu-dulu? Hahaha...

Friday, May 21, 2010

sha: be a the door for me!

Originally uploaded by UGArdener
Situation #1
After a meeting, I held my Alvin and Chipmunk organiser in my arms while arranging the arrays of papers on the table. I was the only woman in the meeting. Two of three men went out for the next meeting. It was me and him in the room and both of us were about to go out.

I opened the door and he stepped out first. Then he left me in the room without helping me to carry the documents whatsoever. I had to hold everything in my arms while holding the door for myself.

He didn't even say thank you.

I thought, "What the hell? He is younger than me and this is Malaysia. Bukan negara mat salleh!"

I just let it be.

That was not the first time. Several occassions passed and he never opened the door for me.

Situation #2
There was a box of heavy stuff in my room which needed to be brought to the store. I had to use the trolley but the box was too heavy. I looked at him and he was still doing his work. I was carrying the heavy box with my female assistant and he didn't even asked or looked at us.

Then our boss asked us,
"Boleh angkat ke tu?"

I said, "Insya-Allah."

But we were actually struggling. Boss couldn't helped us. He was about to go for a meeting. Before he left, he said, "Suruh si King Kong tuh tolong korang."

I went back inside and asked him, "Tolong boleh tak? Kotak tu berat. Boss suruh kitorang mintak tolong awak..."

He looked at us briefly and continued his work.

Eventually, one fat lady and one skinny girl had to carry the heavy box. The tall and healthy young man aged 25 sat there - pretended nothing happened.

Situation #3
My assistant wanted to go home at 8.30pm and nobody was around. He was about to go to his motorbike. They were supposed to take the same route.

So, I asked him nicely,
"Boleh tolong jalan dengan dia sampai ke bawah? Kesian dia balik sorang."

He looked at me and frowned.

"Buat apa?" he asked dumbly.

I felt like knocking his head.


Situation #4
We were staying back so I went out and bought some roti canai. It was meant to be for my assistant. But since he was there, I bought for him too.

I bought three pieces of roti canai and invited him to eat.

As expected, he took 2 pieces of roti canai before leaving the last one for my assistant.He didn't invite her, he brought his own plate and he left that one last piece unattended.

When my assistant wanted to eat, that last piece was cold and too chewy.

He saved his stomach first.

This person was no longer working with me. So, this is not an office talk, okay. But I have a question to you, folks.

Am I the only person who thinks that he is rude and ungentleman?
Or is he normal?

Thursday, May 20, 2010

sha: ku ingin selamanya

cinta adalah misteri dalam hidupku
yang tak pernah ku tahu akhirnya
namun tak seperti cintaku pada dirimu
yang harus tergenapi dalam kisah hidupku

I loved the character Addison in Grey's Anatomy. I mean, I don't fancy Meredith Grey for some reason. So, when Addison "moved" from Grey's Anatomy to Private Practice,I switched my attention towards the new show. Besides, Pete is cute and I love to feast my eyes...!!! Hehehehe...

ku ingin slamanya mencintai dirimu
sampai saat ku akan menutup mata dan hidupku
ku ingin slamanya ada di sampingmu
menyayangi dirimu sampai waktu kan memanggilku

This weekend, the episode was sad. A doctor who had a pancreas cancer was funny, cool and acceptance during his treatment. But he wanted to die fast. He didn't want to wait. In the end, on the day he died, he admitted these:

He didn't want to die alone.

He asked, "Will the world remember me? It will be as if I never exist."

ku berharap abadi dalam hidupku
mencintamu bahagia untukku
karena kasihku hanya untuk dirimu
selamanya kan tetap milikmu

I was not that focused, though. My nose was runny, my eyes were blurry and my throat was itchy. So, you can imagine my condition. But when you're sick, you tend to be oversensitive. I believe it was not just me. My friend asked me a weird question like, "why do i have a notion that this person hates me?" I mean, she was a cool person who did not pay attention towards other people's opinion. But when she was sick, she suddenly cared about nonsense:P

di relung sukmaku
ku labuhkan sluruh cintaku
di hembus nafasku
ku abadikan sluruh kasih dan sayangku

Maybe I fell under the same situation. Then, I heard this song in HotFM. I fell in love with it and checked out the moment I reached home. was not really a song for me with this condition. But a cure to the death I saw in the morning.

Die alone. With no companion and no kids. That made me stressed up. After a moment of thought, I smiled again. Yes, I must work hard to get Orkid in my life. I can almost hear Orkid calling me "mama!"

Reminding myself about Orkid has made me smile. It boosted my energy even though I'm putting my head on a pillow while typing this.

No, Sha is not going to be alone. She'll be remembered. At least, by Orkid. Insya-Allah.

I watched the video clip silently today, hoping that I was part of the story. But I wasn't. This specky guy in the clip reminded me too much of Mr. Hakuto and another person (no name mention).

Eventually it made me think of my late grandparents and I started to cry.

Aiissshhh...that's why I needed to be on sick leave! I was too emotional. But then again, I was lucky because I got sick during the weekends.

No malingering;)

Tell me, folks...
Are you moody when you're sick?

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

sha: the senja singers

Kuala Lumpur Spins
Originally uploaded by ©haddock
Folks, today we are going to learn special words. I'm not going to write a lot due to my physical condition (where I crave for attention and care from the specific parties and they seemed to not understand things well!)

The meaning of the words are derived and quoted from wikipedia. Check it out!

What is dusk?
Dusk is the beginning of darkness in the evening. It is often confused with sunset, which is the daily disappearance of the sun below the horizon. The sky generally remains bright and blue for some time after the sun sets. This period is known as twilight. Dusk is the end of the evening civil twilight.

What is Maghrib?
The Maghrib prayer, prayed just after sunset, is the fourth of five formal daily prayers (salat) performed by practicing Muslims.

What is Malaysia's official religion?
Islam is the largest and official religion of Malaysia, though it is a multi-religious society with many other religions prevailing.

What is badminton?
Badminton is a racquet sport played by either two opposing players (singles) or two opposing pairs (doubles), who take positions on opposite halves of a rectangular court that is divided by a net.

What is the name of the badminton tournament held in Malaysia recently?
The Thomas Cup, sometimes called the World Men's Team Championships, is an international badminton competition among teams representing member nations of the Badminton World Federation (BWF), the sport's global governing body.The Thomas Cup competition was the idea of Sir George Alan Thomas, a highly successful English badminton player of the early 1900's, who was inspired by tennis's Davis Cup, and football's (soccer's) World Cup first held in 1930.

What is the name of the Sports Minister?
Datuk Ahmad Shabery Cheek - Malay and Muslim name.

What is senstivity?
Rapid perception with the senses, reacting to small changes.
Reacting appropriately to the emotions or situation of other people, tactful.
A person with sensitive skin, which easily becomes painful or inflamed.
A person believed to have paranormal or parapsychological perception.
To be easily hurt or upset; to not take things for granted.

Connect all words and you will find this:

The Thomas Cup games started at dusk where Muslims are supposed to perform their Maghrib prayers. Since we're in a Muslim country, the person in charge should be more sensitive in dealing/negotiating the time of the games. Especially when the person should perform the prayer himself.

Aiyoooooooo...this is not a politic talk. But you should look into this next time, YB.

This is because...
Chickens, goats, buffaloes and cows are returning to their places during dusk.

Kais pagi makan pagi, kais petang makan petang. They don't eat during dusk!
Ducks stop swimming in the pond too.

My late grandmother told me,
"Jangan merayau senja-senja. Ini waktu setan merayau!"

Maybe she was old, kot. That was the reason why she was so sensitive:)

But perhaps, things are more lively when the yellow shirts people are singing during dusk. Cheering. It's nice to have the Senja Singers.

We are certainly not buffaloes, chicken or cows if we're singing and cheering at that time. Then what are we?

I'm not religious.
I'm just a person who is oversensitive about how a smart person can be smarter and agreed to arrange a schedule at 7pm.

Which caused the possibility of the whole nationwide to miss the Maghrib prayers:p
And that included me.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

sha: tilam muat seorang

princess and the pea
Originally uploaded by rachielllll
I am unmarried. But I do know that a couple can sleep on a floor without having a mattress meant to be for couples. Careful: I'm not mentioning anything about sex. What I'm trying to imply here is that when one is making a statement, the person must have something called: Common Sense.

I've never been to any khalwat cases hearings before so it was surprising to read about wet towel and mattress as evidence to the cases. I've never thought that things like that could be an evidence. I thought that when a couple is caught in the act or caught when they were alone, they just had to explain to the court, pay the fees or probably get married or something.

So, Norman Hakim and Memey, thanks for teaching me about the Syariah Law:P

Now that I do know about wet towels, tilam toto and the colour of Norman Hakim's boxer, I am wondering about the risk that we're facing everyday at work. I am also wondering on how things can be so complicated just because of one small mistake.

Malaysian artists have this cliche statement like, "Biarlah apa orang nak kata..." and things like that. Some got angry over stuff by showing it, some might just smile at the camera while providing the sweetest venom. But then again, have we ever thought that gossips, condemnation or controversy are just the package of their job?

Some artist implored for freedom. They said, "Saya pun manusia biasa." or they keep secrets for privacy purposes. Yet, the media or the public would still want to have the facts in their grasp. That will be one of the job's package for an artist.

Therefore, nobody could question why the Tilam Story appeared in the newspaper last weekend. The content of the court case was also came from the job package. If this couple was Pak Abu and Mak Limah - I don't think the content would be published in the paper.

It's like:
- when you're an accountant, you must calculate perfectly
- when you're a dentist, you must pull the right teeth
- when you're a football player, you must get ready for sprayed pain killers.


...that you're exhausted and you miscalculated, it still proved you wrong.
...that the condition of "gigi berlapis", you must pull the right one
...that you take care of your health, you must ease the pain away to score goals.

It happens to everyone. Not just the artist. When you're working, you take the risk. You have to be answerable. You can't compare yourself with your colleague too much even though you're hurting at some point.

So, manusia biasa? Well, everyone has their own craving for a perfect job:)

The story of Norman and Memey's mattress reminded me of this story:

"The Princess and the Pea" (Danish: "Prindsessen paa Ærten"; literal translation: "The Princess on the Pea")[1] is a literary fairy tale by Hans Christian Andersen about a young woman whose royal identity is established by a test of her physical sensitivity."

A stack of mattresses and a pea proved the pure blood of a princess.

Now, a mattress which can hold one person is the subject of a case.
Don't you think that we should find the pea too to prove Princess Memey's innocence?
Let the court do their job.

But then again, people can't stop gossiping. That's the part of the job that both Norman and Memey are facing right now. And THEY MUST accept that.

Well, guess what? Work comes with interesting packages.

An artist - is not a special job. It's just another job. We're all human. So please stop saying, "Saya manusia biasa."

Haiseehhhh....maki hamun dengan boss pun job package jugak kan?:P

Monday, May 17, 2010

sha: i like someone...and waiting in line

Originally uploaded by muñequita ღ chiquita
It's much harder to come by
I'm waiting in line
Nobody gets too much love anymore
It's as high as a mountain
And harder to climb
-Too Much Heaven by Jordan Hill and Bee Gees

The phrase sang by Jordan Hill and Bee Gees "i'm waiting in line" made me smile. While typing this, I am actually commenting on the link that I put in my FB. There is a guy over here who might not have anything to do besides discussing Pasha Ungu's look with me. Hehehe. Let it be. I'm enjoying myself as I feel this is the right time to communicate with someone. Thanks to this person, I have that opportunity tonight.

This is because I have a confession to make:

I liked someone. I mean it was just some crazy attraction I felt when I was on the verge of breaking up with Sepet. Well, we did broke up and things like that. But it was hard to say good bye because he came back several times. His intention was good - he wanted to settle down and things like that. But I had doubts and he didn't do it right. So, we broke up and said good bye. There is no turning back!

I knew that Sepet was no longer the love of my life when my heart managed to divert its attention towards someone else. I have never done this. I mean, regardless what happened to us, I had never thought that there would be a day when I was thinking of another man besides him.

And I did.

But this person was not available. He had a partner of his own and I knew I stood no chance in winning his heart and things like that. He was not into me. So, how long did my attraction last?

A week, I supposed.

Then I re-checked my composure and focused on the exact things that I needed to do. I stopped thinking about this person and I just moved on. The only thing which held me back was when I was watching House this evening.

This one genius guy married one stupid lady. Their IQ leveled by 91 points. He made this statement:

"Her IQ is closer to a monkey's than it is to mine. Making love to her is like making love to an animal."


Sha mengucap panjang. I have always admired smart guys. But if my IQ is not as leveled as the person I like/love, will the person say all these nasty things to me?

So, I was silent for a moment. Suddenly I remembered him.

The person I liked has several options even though he is taken. But looking at his options made me think that none of them deserved him. There was a sense of dissatisfaction in me which caused me pray hard that he made the right decisions in life!

Even though this was not a competition, it felt like one. I started to think that if I'm going to lose in this game of love, I might as well lose to a champion. Someone who is better, smarter, prettier. Haiii...if my mum hears this she will say, "Kan jodoh itu ditangan Tuhan!"

At least I won't feel that bad and I won't feel like waiting in line too.

Kalau kalah pun, biarlah dengan yang hebat kan? I'm remembering the song Kau Ada Dia again:(

Sunday, May 16, 2010

sha: jangan penyekkan suara!

Ibu ayam ditangkap musang
Anak ayam cari ibunya
Ibu ayam berlari...dan berlari
Dan ditangkap musang!
Anak ayam mencari...dan mencari
Ibunya yang hilang...
Oh kasihan...oh kasihan...aduh kasihan...

She taught me this song. I still remember the lyrics until today.

Dari jauh bunyi menderu-deru
Umpama angin yang bertiup kencang
Rupanya air yang melompat tinggi
Melompat-lompat bagai tak berhenti
Lihatlah cantiknya
Air terjun namanya
Marilah kawanku
Mandi bersama

Another song. I remember drawing the picture of a waterfall in my exercise book. She gave me a C.

Taat pada perintah Tuhan, Raja dan Negara
Membantu tiap masa
Patuh undang-undangnya
Kami ahli Pengakap Muda
Buat sehabis baik...

She taught me about Goldilocks and Three Bears.
She prepared me for my first public speaking in the assembly.
She scolded me for not being a good story teller in the story telling competition.
She was my hockey coach.
She taught me how to camp as a Girl Guide.
She forced me to memorise Sifir 25.
She tapped my fingers because I couldn't draw straight line.
She spanked and slapped me in front of my classmates.
She put a make up on my face on the day I represented the state in choir.

But one day...she couldn't answer my question. My teacher, Mrs. Param instructed us to paste pictures of flowers in our vocabulary book and labeled them. She couldn't tell me the English name for "kemboja".

Before submitting the book to my English teacher, Mrs. Param, I said,
"Teacher, I don't know the name of this flower."

Mrs. Param said,
"Have you asked your mum?"

"Yes, teacher. But she don't know too," I told her.

"Give me your book," Mrs Param then took my book.

The next day, Mrs. Param gave my book to me.

"The name of the flower is frangipani. Do you know how to spell it?"

I shook my head. She taught me.

Later that night...

"Ibu, Mrs. Param cakap nama bunga tuh Frengggggiiippeeeeeniiii..." I struggled to pronounce it.

"Frangipani," she said sternly.



"Frengipeni," my Malay accent stood up.

"Good. Say it again. Frangipani. Jangan penyekkan suara!"


She nodded.

And the next morning...

"Thank you, teacher," she said that to Mrs. Param.

I rubbed my eyes. Teacher?

"Your mother was my student when she was your age. Do you know that?"

"No, teacher."

"And she was smart. You must be like her, okay!"
the elderly woman said lovingly.

The lesson that I got that day was regardless how smart you are, there will always be things that you don't know.

Frangipani was taught by a teacher who used to be a teacher's teacher.
She taught the mother and she taught the daughter.
The mother learned even after she became a teacher!

The person who didn't know frangipani was my mother. The best teacher ever.

Oh, did I mentioned to you that she taught me about love and life?

Happy Teacher's Day, ibu.

And to all the teachers out there;)

Saturday, May 15, 2010

sha: the price of nasi campur?

The names of the dishes:
1. Chicken Parmagiana
2. Rose Water with Cream
3. Nasi Campur

The content of Nasi Campur:
1. Fish Curry @ Kari Ikan Tenggiri
2. Chicken Rendang Tok @ Rendang Tok Ayam
3. Beef Rendang @ Rendang Daging
4. Wheat Crackers @ Papadom
5. Fresh Herbs @ Daun Ceylon, Tomato, dan Timun
6. Chilly Eggs @ Sambal Telur Rebus
7. Stir Fry Bean Sprouts @ Goreng Taugeh

Rosewater with Cream @ Air Bandung

Served in a square plate...Guess how much does it cost?

RM26 before tax! might be thinking that I'm crazy but I'm not. I took the opportunity of having KLCC as the neighbour of my workplace by visiting Aseana last week. I had then checked out all the menu and decided to taste the most common one but the most expensive:)

A little bit about Aseana:

Located at The Melium Galleria is the uniquely fashionable lifestyle café and bar, Aseana CaféBar. Fresh and pristine with an all-white interior, Aseana CaféBar lets you dine in style, in a relaxed and elegantly chic environment, be it indoors or alfresco.

Vintage-inspired components lend a distinctive feel of old charm in the modern, trendy space through white-painted ‘kopitiam' chairs and tables, and vibrant Batik ceiling lampshades in colorful mod-prints. Mini pavilions in the outdoors allow customers to lift their feet off the floor and curl up in cozy sofas to rest, relax or read some lifestyle materials from the CaféBar while sipping through their drinks.

The ambiance was relax, yes. That was my first visit to Aseana; considering that I've never thought of eating there before. I got to sit down with a friend, talked about life, think about something else beside work and be myself.

And I ate rice too;)

A plate of Nasi Campur for RM26.

Will you pay if you're in my position, folks?

I did.

What about you?

Friday, May 14, 2010

sha: not selsema babi

Originally uploaded by floridapfe
Fever (also known as pyrexia or controlled hyperthermia[1]) is a common medical sign characterized by an elevation of temperature above the normal range of 36.5–37.5 °C (98–100 °F) due to an increase in the body temperature regulatory set-point.[2] This increase in set-point triggers increased muscle tone and shivering.
- wikipedia


Then I have this too:

Influenza, commonly referred to as the flu, is an infectious disease caused by RNA viruses of the family Orthomyxoviridae (the influenza viruses), that affects birds and mammals.

But it's not the one with Babi in the end...


What am I doing in the office nieh?

Thursday, May 13, 2010

sha: kau ada dia

Sudah lama ku memendam rasa

Cinta di dalam dada
Namun tidak pernah bersuara
Kerana takut kecewa

I watched Sepi again yesterday. That was my 20th time, I think.Guess what? I was finally on leave! Huh...I know this sounds weird for some of you but I rarely take any leave, okay. It has been 2 two years since the last time I officially took something called ANNUAL LEAVE. But hold on, these two days are not annual leave, by the way. I am taking Replacement Leave as I worked on Saturday and Sunday before. In fact, this week will be another weekend-less for me. Datelines. Commitment. Please, I want to puke but I'm holding on;(

Ku tunggu waktu yang lebih baik
Untuk langkah pertama
Jauh dari apa yang ku kira
Hatimu ada yang punya

My favourite story in Sepi is Adam's story. I would love to have that fat man as my boyfriend. Or husband. He is, I would dream guy. He is funny and smart and he loves his mother!!!! When Adam was frustrated in the movie, I felt as if I wanted to grab Adam from my screen and wrapped him in my arms and said, "Darling...Sha is here!!!!" Hahaha...ridiculous kan?

Di dalam mimpi kita berdua
Mesra bersama dilamun cinta
Oh tetapi kenyataannya aku sedar kau ada dia

Mungkin juga semuanya salah ku
Terlalu mengharapkan cinta
Tapi sepi yang merasuk kalbu
Membawa angan melayang

Di dalam mimpi kita berdua
Mesra bersama dilamun cinta
Oh tetapi kenyataannya aku sedar kau ada dia.

Perhaps, it is because of this song. It effected my mood like hell. It made me quiet, at least for a day. I mean, I have been quiet this week, especially at work. Why? Hmmm...let's just say that less words are better now.

Sha is in Merajuk Membawa Diri Mode!

The song is really...really...effecting me.

Haiseh meeennn...

I need to deal with my inner feelings more often after this.

Kau ada dia. Aku apa ada?

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

sha: no es amor club

Originally uploaded by rachelestherc
"So, macam mana ni?" I asked him after a long winded stories of confusion.

"Maybe dia sukakan Sha macam mana me sukakan Sha. It's not love like love-love. Tapi suka Sha sebab takkan ada lagi Sha yang macam Sha."

"Complicatednya!" I grunted.

"Memang...memang...dia complicated sikit," he admitted.

"Serupa macam tak payah je suka Sha," my face turned red. I felt the stupidity of this conversation. Where shall I find the word sincerity? Not like love-love but...?

But then again, folks, have you ever cared for someone without knowing the reason of why you care? I did. It felt stupid at first but it became ridiculous in the end. Stupid and ridiculous, what was the difference? Hehehe.

It's like when you look at this person, you feel the twitch of feelings when he doesn't look okay or whatsoever. When he looks absolutely fine, you'll feel happy about it. You'll smile when he smile and you'll turn sour when he looks sour.

It's like one's mood is effecting yours.

This might be happening too: That person talks about something and you don't feel good about it. For example, he talks about his love affairs, you tend to feel something about it. Jealousy? Nope. Anger? Absolutely nope. Just a bitter feeling that you can't explain. That will cause a whole day of sourness on your face. You'll look like a riped grapefruit but you don't know why! Perrrghhhhh...

But when he is feeling happy and spread the cheer, you'll feel the warmth as if you never feel it before. Every positive gesture will be taken as a positive gesture and you'll savour each moment of it.

His presence makes you glad.
His absence makes you sad.

But you know that what you feel is not love because you're in love with someone else. You know he is not worth that deep affection but you can't stop being caring.

Your feeling is no es amor. It's not love but something else.

Something nasty and complicated.

Have you ever feel this way, folks?

Because if you do, I would love to say this to you:

Welcome to the club;)

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

sha: lucky i'm in love with my best friend

"Unrequited love is love that is not openly reciprocated or understood as such, even though reciprocation is usually deeply desired. The beloved may or may not be aware of the admirer's deep affections. The Merriam Webster Online Dictionary defines unrequited as "not reciprocated or returned in kind"
- Wikipedia

As I watched Didier Drogba scored Chelsea's fifth goal, I had this twitch in my heart. Well, definitely it was not because of Liverpool. I had long accepted that this season is not our season, considering that the heartache increased from one game to another. This last game was definitely just another game and we were not hoping for anything anymore.

Except that we would find a good buyer for our club, of course. Nevertheless, the love for The Kops remain the same. Well, that's the use of loyal fans, right?

Speaking of loyalty. I remember the reaction of the guests who attended my friend's wedding last week. When it was mentioned that the couple had known each other for twelve years, I could hear some wincing sound.

Yes, she was patient. She was loyal. I told you about her story in my posting -love comes to those who believe it. She believed in dreams, love and fate. Eventually she got him even though he was not hers in the beginning of their friendship. They were the rare cases of bestfriends who fell for each other. But nothing is impossible in this life, right?

I smiled when I saw them holding hands. The last time I saw them together, holding hands was one of the missing items in their relationship. Because they were just friends. She was his best friend and he was hers.

They used "engkau-aku" instead of what they are using right now.
They shared sharp glances instead of the tender ones we are seeing these days.
They looked restless. Now, they look at ease and peace.

They have gone through a phase of knowing each other as friends. I remember the sweet days when she used to tease him when he scowled. Then I remember her tearful days when she felt the love but she couldn't expressed it out loud.

"The object of unrequited love is often a friend or acquaintance, someone regularly encountered in the workplace, during the course of work or other activities involving large groups of people. This creates an awkward situation in which the admirer has difficulty in expressing his/her true feelings, as a romantic relationship may be inconsistent with the existing association; revelation of the lover's feelings might invite rejection, cause embarrassment or might end all access to the beloved."

I remember this in her. But it was worth it, don't you think?

It was just like in Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat's song. It was lucky to fall in love with your best friend. The sense of loyalty, insya-Allah - was guaranteed.

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again...

But I couldn't help thinking of the impossibility of me falling for my own best friend. I left him, remember? There was a sense of disloyalty in there, but I couldn't do anything else if his fiance was feeling insecured. I had to go. For his own good. For his devotion to her - I must sacrifice what we had.

It was just that...when Man U failed to win the championship, I felt as if I was missing something.

I missed the comfort talk we had after Chelsea won a game.
I missed the times when we said Terry was just ordinary.
I missed the times when I nearly puke because he complimented Berbatov.

I missed my BEST FRIEND.

My dear, was this the reason of our misery?

We were no Jason and Colbie.
We were Torres and Rooney.
The odds of Rooney playing for Liverpool?

No unrequited love.

Monday, May 10, 2010

sha: tercipta untukku

We were walking to the basement when he asked,

"Sha, you tau tak lagu ni. dengar I nyanyi ye..."

The moment I heard the melody, I smiled. That is my favourite song.

"Tajuk dia Tercipta Untukku, "I said.

"Siapa nyanyi?" he countered.

"Ungu," I replied.

And he started singing again. He was into the song. I looked at his gestures and wondered, if this man in front of me was in love, his girlfriend would definitely be a very lucky girl. I mean, I love the melody of the song. I thought that Pasha's voice was damn sexy and I wrote this in my posting called Cinta Dalam Hati last year. Besides, the lyrics was simple and marvelous. A nice way of expressing love when you feel it.

"Nak download la lagu ni," he said.

"Sha ada lagu nieh. Nantilah, Sha bagi," he was still humming.

"Best pulak lagu nieh," he smiled when he said that. Yes, the guy was in love.

"Ada dua version, Sha ada version dengan Rossa. Yang tu untuk soundtrack Ayat-ayat Cinta. Nak yang tu ke?"

"Boleh je..." and we walked to the car.

The topic was closed.

The next day

"Sha, nak lagu Ungu dengan Rossa tu, " he said.

And I gave him the file. The moment I did, I heard him singing again. I smiled but my smile wavered after a while. Twinge of jealousy crept through my veins. Wowwww...he must be thinking of something if he remembered his request. Perhaps, he wanted to give it to his girlfriend? Uiiiyooo...the girl must be very very special! How I wished I could be like her!

Because something happened last year...

I sang the song.

"Lagu apa you nyanyi ni, yang?" my boyfriend asked me.

"Tercipta Untukku," I replied.

"Lagu Indon?" he asked.

"Yup! Ungu...I memang suka lagu-lagu band ni, " then I continued singing.

"Boringlah. Jiwang semacam je..." he said.

"Dah nama pun lagu, B..." I was hurt. He didn't get the point. He didn't pay attention to the lyrics.

"Tukarlah...tukarlah...takmo lagu ni, " he said while pressing the buttons.

David Gueta filled the space.

My romantic hopes were gone in ashes.

And something happened last Saturday...

"Sekarang dijemput saudara Mohd Ridz untuk menyampaikan lagu yang bertajuk Tercipta Untukku. Lagu ini ditujukan khas untuk pasangan pengantin dari rakan-rakan mereka."

The sound of my friend's macho voice filled the Grand Ballroom. I looked across the tables and I saw his wife smiling. Wooowww...another lucky girl. The screen showed the images of the bride and her groom. The bridegroom smiled knowingly at his bride while they were listening to the song. My friend was a blushing bride. She was indeed a lucky girl too!

Three lucky girls.

One man requested the song I downloaded earlier.
One man sang the song in the wedding while looking at his wife.
A bridegroom looked meaningfully at his bride while listening to the song.




I was not that lucky, don't you think?

While I smelled the sweet scented fresh lavender roses in the wedding I attended last Saturday, I wished that I was rich. The roses were making me happy! The theme of the wedding was my favourite coulour. I touched the petals - wishing that I could drown myself in it. If I was rich, I would order a pool of it!

Or perhaps I can just pay Pasha Ungu to sing for me;P