sha: ku ingin selamanya

cinta adalah misteri dalam hidupku

yang tak pernah ku tahu akhirnya

namun tak seperti cintaku pada dirimu

yang harus tergenapi dalam kisah hidupku

I loved the character Addison in Grey's Anatomy. I mean, I don't fancy Meredith Grey for some reason. So, when Addison "moved" from Grey's Anatomy to Private Practice,I switched my attention towards the new show. Besides, Pete is cute and I love to feast my eyes...!!! Hehehehe...

ku ingin slamanya mencintai dirimu

sampai saat ku akan menutup mata dan hidupku

ku ingin slamanya ada di sampingmu

menyayangi dirimu sampai waktu kan memanggilku

This weekend, the episode was sad. A doctor who had a pancreas cancer was funny, cool and acceptance during his treatment. But he wanted to die fast. He didn't want to wait. In the end, on the day he died, he admitted these:

He didn't want to die alone.

He asked, "Will the world remember me? It will be as if I never exist."

ku berharap abadi dalam hidupku

mencintamu bahagia untukku

karena kasihku hanya untuk dirimu

selamanya kan tetap milikmu

I was not that focused, though. My nose was runny, my eyes were blurry and my throat was itchy. So, you can imagine my condition. But when you're sick, you tend to be oversensitive. I believe it was not just me. My friend asked me a weird question like, "why do i have a notion that this person hates me?" I mean, she was a cool person who did not pay attention towards other people's opinion. But when she was sick, she suddenly cared about nonsense:P

di relung sukmaku

ku labuhkan sluruh cintaku

di hembus nafasku

ku abadikan sluruh kasih dan sayangku

Maybe I fell under the same situation. Then, I heard this song in HotFM. I fell in love with it and checked out Youtube.com the moment I reached home. Argghh...it was not really a song for me with this condition. But a cure to the death I saw in the morning.

Die alone. With no companion and no kids. That made me stressed up. After a moment of thought, I smiled again. Yes, I must work hard to get Orkid in my life. I can almost hear Orkid calling me "mama!"

Reminding myself about Orkid has made me smile. It boosted my energy even though I'm putting my head on a pillow while typing this.

No, Sha is not going to be alone. She'll be remembered. At least, by Orkid. Insya-Allah.

I watched the video clip silently today, hoping that I was part of the story. But I wasn't. This specky guy in the clip reminded me too much of Mr. Hakuto and another person (no name mention).

Eventually it made me think of my late grandparents and I started to cry.

Aiissshhh...that's why I needed to be on sick leave! I was too emotional. But then again, I was lucky because I got sick during the weekends.

No malingering;)

Tell me, folks...

Are you moody when you're sick?