"So, macam mana ni?" I asked him after a long winded stories of confusion.
"Maybe dia sukakan Sha macam mana me sukakan Sha. It's not love like love-love. Tapi suka Sha sebab takkan ada lagi Sha yang macam Sha."
"Complicatednya!" I grunted.
"Memang...memang...dia complicated sikit," he admitted.
"Serupa macam tak payah je suka Sha," my face turned red. I felt the stupidity of this conversation. Where shall I find the word sincerity? Not like love-love but...?
But then again, folks, have you ever cared for someone without knowing the reason of why you care? I did. It felt stupid at first but it became ridiculous in the end. Stupid and ridiculous, what was the difference? Hehehe.
It's like when you look at this person, you feel the twitch of feelings when he doesn't look okay or whatsoever. When he looks absolutely fine, you'll feel happy about it. You'll smile when he smile and you'll turn sour when he looks sour.
It's like one's mood is effecting yours.
This might be happening too: That person talks about something and you don't feel good about it. For example, he talks about his love affairs, you tend to feel something about it. Jealousy? Nope. Anger? Absolutely nope. Just a bitter feeling that you can't explain. That will cause a whole day of sourness on your face. You'll look like a riped grapefruit but you don't know why! Perrrghhhhh...
But when he is feeling happy and spread the cheer, you'll feel the warmth as if you never feel it before. Every positive gesture will be taken as a positive gesture and you'll savour each moment of it.
His presence makes you glad.
His absence makes you sad.
But you know that what you feel is not love because you're in love with someone else. You know he is not worth that deep affection but you can't stop being caring.
Your feeling is no es amor. It's not love but something else.
Something nasty and complicated.
Have you ever feel this way, folks?
Because if you do, I would love to say this to you:
Welcome to the club;)