Saturday, May 08, 2010

sha: not a stuffed mushroom

I had a nightmare last night. A man I knew showed his girlfriend to me. Then he invited me for a dinner where the girlfriend was feeding him in front of me, calling him sayang and made all the lovely gestures while I was watching. The only thing I did was to eat silently while forcing my lips to smile.

Then I woke up.

Drenched in sweat, I cooled myself with three glasses of plain water. Then I switched on the internet and started to check on things. I have not touched my blog nor Facebook since last week. Serious matter happened and it refrained my heart to go anywhere near the internet. For some reason, the incident made me depressed like hell!

But I needed some music. So, I clicked my AIMP2.

When I logged-on to Facebook, I purposely checked on Cafe World-the game I actively played last year. There was a new recipe called Stuffed Mushroom. Hmmmm...the name was really tempting, don't you think?

So, I cooked the Stuffed Mushroom - hoping that I will be able get it done by tomorrow. My stomach clenched to the thoughts of having nice mushrooms but I need to take care of my budget. This week, I have been eating in Secret Recipe, Sushi King and Aseana for three days in a row! My budget is running low...

While browsing the pictures of stuffed mushrooms in Flickr, my AIMP2 played this song:

Nobody wants to be lonely
Nobody wants to cry
My body's longing to hold you
so bad it hurts inside
Time is precious and it's slipping away
and I've been waiting for you all of my life
Nobody wants to be lonely so why
Why don't you let me love you
-Nobody Wants to be Lonely by Ricky Martin and Christina Aguilera

That reminds me of the things that I need to do today. I have to go to work. My assistant is catching her deadline and I have to be there during her overtime hours. What else? I need to look at the mirror closely today because I need to go to my friend's wedding tonight!

Arrghhh...this occasion was something that I have been waiting for since I was young. They have been together for quite a while. Besides, this is the time when what she thought would be impossible is becoming reality. So, I can't miss this wedding. I must go. I want to see the girl who is in love!

But, my smile wavered as my mind drifted to the thought of being the empty mushroom. Yup, I have to be prepared. Friends are going to come with boyfriends, husbands, children. I am coming with a colleague. Sepet is out of my life, marriage is no longer my word...and obviously I have no love interest besides Jack Bass and Will Gardner:p

So, I am going to wear my joker's smiley face tonight. Think of the friends that I am going to meet. Think of mending things and making new connections.

I know I am going to be fine when I'm surrounded by these stuffed mushrooms, insya-Allah.

There you are
In a darkened room
And you're all alone
Looking out the window
Your heart is cold and lost the will to love
Like a broken arrow

Yup, the image of me watching the the girlfriend feeding that man last night should be banished from my head.

Question:
But why can't I take it away?
Oh shux....

6 comments:

~LP Lum~ said...

salam kak sha~

huhuhu... kita serupa.. but sy bukan dlm mimpi.. dlm reality...
:)

apa pun insya Allah, kita akan gembira semula kak... :)

kak ijan said...

Salam Sha,
hopefully those stuffed mushrooms will cheer you up. don't be upset...enjoy the wedding party ya :)

Adila said...

it's better to be alone rather than getting someone just for the sake of it

you'll find someone ;)

chekdenoor said...

Selamat hari ibu....... coppylah hadiah anak chekdee di blog chekdee....jom sama-sama kongsi....heheheheh

aBoi said...

i'm glad that it was just a dream...

Dee said...

it's just a dream sha..life goes on rite? take care yeah..