Blue Moon, you saw me standing alone,
Without a dream in my heart,
Without a love of my own,
Blue moon, you knew just what I was there for,
You heard me saying a prayer for,
Someone I could care for...
I hugged my bolster. How I wish that I was hugging Zainal Arief. Then I looked at the soft toy sitting beside my head. A teddy bear clad in a royal purple robe with a mortar board on his head.
Orkid Zainal Arief.
Nope. Not Orkid. Stop thinking that, Sha. It's a bear, not Orkid. Blue Bear- from Celcom.
"Suzuki Swift kecik la..." he said.
"Sesuai dengan orang bujang. Sha pun silap2 bujang sampai bila2..." I answered.
"Be careful what you wish for," he replied.
For some reason, that statement reminded me of my story book by Alexandra Potter.Interesting book, I learned a lot from it. I remember the day when he looked at that book and I said,
"Be careful what you wish for."
"I always get what I wish, "he said.
"I don't," I said sadly.
Yup. I don't get what I wish. I have to work hard for everything I want. Which makes me tougher, actually. But that is in the area where I wanted it the most; where I could work things out. How about in the area where I am helpless and need luck?
It's like Memeluk Bulan.
Then, I hugged my bolster tighter to my chest. My eardrum was working on the song by Rossa called Memeluk Bulan. And it reminded me of the old days.
I came back from my classes. My housemates were packing their swimsuits.
"Gi swimming ke babe?" I asked.
"Yup, kitorang ada swimming class. Rugi kau tak join, Sha. Next sem join la,"she said.
I smiled bitterly. I couldn't afford a swimsuit at the time. The money I received should only be used for assignments and meal!
So, I walked to another friend's apartment:
"Babe...aku nak keluar. Ada kelas golf,"she said.
Then I turned to another friend.
"Aku ada equastrian," she said.
I was all alone.
So, I left with this hole in my heart. I couldn't even afford to buy that stick to hit that damn ball! I couldn't get myself on the horse. Well, I felt left out.
The next day, friends were talking about the games and I was silent. My roommate was looking at me intently.
"Relaxlah babe...kita takleh nak buat macam tu. Tapi kita boleh try cara lain, kan. Jom jumpa dean?" she suggested.
The solution for us to replace that expensive curricular subject was by taking another core subject.
My roommate who minored in Finance took International Finance.
I, for some reason, took Human Resource Planning.
We held our hearts in our chests when we heard friends talking about their activities. Well, I was lucky. I had her. We were in the same boat.
* * *
"Relaxlah babe...kita sama boat," I smiled through the phone.
"Kau lain, Sha..." she said miserably.
"Apa lainnye? Same je kau dengan aku, geng tak jadi kawen...hehehe..."
"Tapi kau, kau pilih macam tuh. Aku ditinggalkan,"she said.
"Tapi cerita kita ending sama je, babe. Simpan harapan yang tak jadi. Kan?" I replied.
"Kau dah jumpa org lain, Sha?" she asked.
"See...cerita kau ending dah lain!" she exclaimed.
"Lagi teruk, ada. He is taken. Dah lah tu, aku sorang je suka dia. Dia tak minat aku," I said.
"Okay...itu tak best..." she said silently.
"Aku nampak bantal peluk ni macam dia. Tp dia org punya. Memanglah tak best..." I said sadly.
"Macam masa kau tak dapat amik kelas swimming, kelas golf dulu. Itu perasaannya, kau tau..." I continued.
She was silent.
"Relaxlah babe...mesti kita jumpa cara lain," I said the same sentence she said to me last time.
Both of us were discussing silently. Thinking about our wishes which did not come true.
Memeluk bantal peluk...it's like Memeluk Bulan!
Sabarlah. Don't cry. France is losing tonight.
* Get your World Cup blue bear now!!! I'm getting Esbearanyol from Celcom:P