Sunday, August 22, 2010

ramadhan diary: as soft as tofu fa

Bazaar. Yup...nice word. Nice sound. But different interpretation. The freaky me was having goosebumps each time I remembered the incident in Jasin. I just couldn't imagine being in the exposure of flying hot oil! Adoiiii.....

Honestly, I have been to bazaar three times this year. Two times in Seremban and one time in Ampang. My favourite? The normal plain tofu fa. For some reason, I loved to have all soft stuff for buka puasa, it felt nice and soothing and not too overwhelming.

Like some people said,
"Perut tak terkejut!"

I guess, I was taking care of the stomach and not to make it "jumpy" and I thought that it was a good practice. But how well could I controlled my desire in not buying anything I loved to feast? Very well, indeed. When work was taking over most of my time - drinking plain water and eating dates were the practice.

I guess...it was better to take care of the stomach since I haven't been taking care of my heart...and head.

"So, how's your day?"
"Day is fine."
"Buka?"
"Macam ni lah...takkan sempat sampai Seremban. So, kat sini je..." I said silently. Yes, I was emotional when it came to this. Ramadhan was supposed to be the time with the family. And I was...NOT.

"I kan ada ni..." he smiled.
I smiled back. Weakly.

Then I heard a ringtone.

"Hello. Dengan Sha...yup...sayang...I'll call you back?" his gaze was directed to me.
Then he put his phone on the table.

We were silent.

"Buka dengan dia?" I asked.
"Tak...buka dengan you. Kan I dah janji," he answered.
"I don't mind..." I smiled at him. The back of my eyes stung like HELL.
"Sha..."
"I banyak kerja. Kejap lagi I nak balik office. Takde masa nak lama-lama dengan you pun..." I gave him a matter of fact.

He just looked at me.

"I'll be fine, Arief. I'm sure I will," I looked at the soft and white tofu fa.
"You're one tough girl, Sha..." he drew his breath.

"Unfortunately, tough things are not good for your digestion. Especially when you're fasting, " I smiled with my over bright eyes. I knew for a moment in time that the waterfall with flow across my chubby cheeks.

Then he went off.
And the waterfall broke loose.
It was until he came back to pick up his Blackberry.

"Sha..."
"Hmmmm...." I smiled with the tears.
"Balik dulu..."
"Yup!" and I grinned with the tears.

It was hurtful. And I watched him walked away. I cried my heart out that night.

Maybe I should learn to become as soft as a tofu fa. Because I read an article this afternoon saying that no man in his right mind would want tough stuff.

Folks...?

7 comments:

Yunus Badawi said...

Komen saya yg tadi hilang pulak? huhuhu

Sedap taufufa ni terutama kalau disejukkan. Haikal baru ni beli taufufa dan masukkan dalam peti sejuk. Tapi terlupa nak keluarkan masa buka. Akibatnya benda tu beku ngee

Quiyah & Hasrul said...

babe.. ur stubborn-ness will help u with ur career, but not with ur heart. too tough will drive people away u know. it won't hurt if u show the soft side of u, and i don't mean by eating the soft stuff only.

Dee said...

alamak..kesiannya sha..kalo gitu tau foo fa mmg dh lembutkan hati sha lah..tu yg hujan di kuala lumpur..arghh..sedihnya ;(

mier@merr said...

huuuuuuu....tak patot.... :(

kiddo2music said...

tau fu fah sedap...:)

Cik Qemm said...

kak sha.. what happen?

Adila said...

i'm so gonna get taufu fa tomorrow for berbuka! lolll!!!

i know how it feels like buka puasa alone..
you know what, sahur alone is more... ouccchhhhhh~ :(
i used to sahur while watching drama on my laptop cuz its just too quiet to eat without the whole family keliling meja :(