Kan ku menjadi arjuna dalam mimpi-mimpimu
Kan ku panah tepat ke jiwamu atas nama cintaku
Pari-pari ku utus bawa kau ke sini lagi
Terhapus semua air mata dengan senyuman
- Selamat Malam by Faizal Tahir
When one of my brothers called yesterday, my colleague made this comment, "Garangnya kau dengan adik kau." And I laughed. I said, that was how I was talking to my brothers because my feminine phonetics and gestures were intolerable for them:)
I was not a soft hearted sister. I knew I was not perfect and there were lots of arguments on how I was handling my brothers. Being the eldest means a trial for your own parents. When they were raising you, they sought for advice from others; they tend to copy and paste other people's practice in your life. They thought they knew the best.
But that was not always the case. They were times when they failed and they wanted to make it up by using other options for the other children. So, when I met Sepet several years ago, we clicked with each other since we were the eldest and we understood the feeling of "trial and error".
Talking about trial and error. Hmmm...there was a piece of memory that I could extract from my mind (I'm no Dumbledore, but I could do that as well). A memory when I was a teenager and just came back from the boarding school for holiday.
"Kakakkkk....ibu masak sedappp...bangunlaaaaa...." said my youngest brother.
"Mmmmmmm...." I put my face on the pillow.
"Kakaaaaakkk...ibu suruh bangun...kakaaakkk...." his small hands were touching my shoulders.
I rolled at the other side of the bed.
"Kaaaakaaaakkkk....nanti ibu maraaaah...bangunlah!!!!" he screamed. Clearly, he was too anxious or too determine.
"Mmmmmmmmm!!! Diam!" I grunted.
"Kakak nieh!!! Ibu suruh banguuuun! Dia dah masaaaakkk!!!" his voice was hurting my ears.
Then he slammed my back. It was not painful but I was shocked.
"Oiiii! Sakitlah!" I scolded him and sat on the bed. He looked at me furiously.
"Bangun. Ibu suruh bangun. Kau nieh asek tido jeee..." he said.
I didn't know what I did but the moment I realised it, my brothers face was red and wet with tears. His small shoulders shook with sobs and he looked at me with his teary eyes.
I just slapped him. Damn.
Since then it was well known that I hated to be disturbed when I was sleeping. No loud voice. If you want to wake me up, just touch my shoulder gently. And....use the gentlest voice. Otherwise, you will see me sulking the whole day.
That's the bad Sha that you should know.
My brother is 18 this year and is a fan of Faizal Tahir. So, when he had to wake up at 1.00 am and picked his sister from the commuter station in the morning, I touched the cheeks that I slapped more than 10 years ago. Well, that is the regret that I have.
When he sang "Selamat Malam" in karaoke, I made a comment on how much I don't really fancy the song. And he said....
"Kalau Faizal Tahir nieh boyfriend kakak, dia dah kena tumbuk bertubi-tubi sebab nyanyi lagu Selamat Malam masa kakak tidur..."
Obviously, I would love to have a gentle voice when I'm sleeping. Like the voice of Jack Bass's whispering "Open your eyes, princess..." Hehehe...
Tumbuk bertubi-tubi? Definitely, Faizal Tahir. Watch out if I hear that song in my sleep.