Monday, March 29, 2010

sha: harap ibu kan taburkan beras kunyit

Originally uploaded by n a z z i m ~ elinazz
I grinned broadly at the person who sang Khabar Buat Ibu during our karaoke session last week. The session was for the team which consists of bachelors and bachelorettes. Love songs were expected but not a wedding-kind of songs. I felt like laughing hysterically, for goodness sake! ;)

But I couldn't comment that much on the person's life scenario. I mean, I have a deep respect towards this person. So, privacy is something I am more than willing to give him. Secondly, I don't want to make assumptions; so whatever is going on with his life is definitely none of my business unless he says so.

Let's just say that I don't like to invade anyone's personal business to avoid people avoiding mine. Hehe;)

However, I have to be honest that this song is a bit disturbing. Let me tell you why...

Ke hadapan ibuku
Yang sangat ku cintai
Dengarlah khabar ini
Tentang calon menantu mu

While I was listening to this song, I couldn't help thinking about the three young men who captured my heart since my mum was pregnant with them. Who else? My brothers la! Shahmi is 24 years old, Atan is 21 and adik is 18. Sooner or later, they will be leaving the family to bear a commitment called wife. I wonder, how will they break the news to ibu...ayah...and me? Hihihi. It's unthinkable.

Will Shahmi talk non-stop with ibu?
Will Atan frown when he is talking about the girl he love?
Will Adik blush?

It's too early to predict. But yes, I can't help imagining:)

Orangnya sederhana tidak berlebihan
Tapi cergas serta pintar
Dan dia kan membantu mu
Dalam urusan seharian

Shahmi said he likes someone who knows how to cook gulai- Negri Sembilan style.
Atan told me a smart girl will attract him.
Adik likes a girl who keeps herself fit.

So? This verse is definitely for my brothers. Definitely;)

Usahlah engkau bimbang tentang cinta kami
Kami telah berjanji akan saling menghormati
Harap ibu kan taburkan beras kunyit
Di depan halaman rumah
Menyambut kepulangan kami berdua oh ibu ku

Ibu, with beras kunyit? I am laughing while I'm typing this, folks. My ibu? My oh my...ibu is no-Jaya Bachan in Kabhi Kushi Kabhi Gham okay! But she is sporting enough to be adaptable to any type of girls that she will meet, insyaAllah. She might not going to be too soft-spoken because she is not. But I always believe that she only wants the best for my brothers. She always does.

We'll see. Will ibu feed the menantu like she is feeding us right now?

Aku menyintainya
Seperti ayah menyintai mu
Dan dia menyintai ku
Seperti kau cintakan ayah

This is my favourite part. For me, my parents' love is very unique and I don't think that any of my future sister-in-law will understand.(but then again, who will?) But let's see about that, shall we? Will they accept unconditional love? I hope they do, because having such additional members in the family is a must. The most important thing is, will they accept the fact that it was my ayah's sperm and my ibu's ovum plus kun fayakun created my brothers? I pray today that they won't neglect that fact. Amin.

Shahmi said the person must know how to cook like ibu.
Atan said the person must be tough like ibu.
Adik said the person must be knowledgeable like ibu.

Will the wives understand that?
I hope so. Please Ya Allah, let it be a prayer today. Let the future knows how important our parents to us.

The song is Khabar Buat Ibu, by the way. It's not Khabar Buat Kakak kan? Still, it touched my heart. One day, I will let them go. Perhaps that is going to be time when Orkid is going to tag along me in the kenduri and say, "Mama, Mak Ngah Orkid pandai masak!" or "Mama, aunty tu baca buku untuk Orkid!" or "Mama, cantik kan aunty Orkid tu!"


Orkid in my dream (sweet dream, indeed - when a child is calling me mama!) - with my great brothers and compatible companions. Amin.

As for the person who is typing this posting late at night today, she is smiling with her dreamy eyes. Sunday was marvellous - I got the time to spend it with quality with my brothers. Breakfast, lepaking in front of the tv to watch F1, went to City Park to fly kites and feed fish and ended the evening with 3 hours rock karaoke session.

I will miss this one day.

To the person who said, "Tak payah datang kerja weekend" last Friday, thanks a lot. I hope the song that you sang will bring a meaning for you soon. Insya-Allah.

I hope you know how much this weekend meant for me.

Thanks, for the karaoke session.
Thanks, for the McD.
Thanks, for not scowling after what had happened last week,
And thanks for being understanding even though I am supposed to spend this weekend at work to chase my datelines.

You're totally FABulous.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

sha: am a sumo girl

"Sumo (相撲 sumō?) is a competitive contact sport where a wrestler (rikishi) attempts to force another wrestler out of a circular ring (dohyō) or to touch the ground with anything other than the soles of the feet."

Sha: Rikishi? Perhaps. I was trying to force a tomoi girl to get out of my sight. But Rikishi sounds too Japanese. How about Rikisha?

"The sumo tradition is very ancient, and even today the sport includes many ritual elements, such as the use of salt purification, from the days when sumo was used in the Shinto religion."

Sha: Salt purification? Indeed. There were no sweet words used last week. The person used salt to rub on any surface she could find. She told me, "Don't you know that everyone hates you? You have been treating everyone like shit!" I believe, her salty words were PURE from her heart.

The winner of a sumo bout is either:
a) The first wrestler to force his opponent to step out of the ring.

Sha: I chased her out an she yelled at me.

b) The first wrestler to force his opponent to touch the ground with any part of his body other than the bottom of his feet.

Sha: Yup...her whole body was out of my sight. *sigh*


Sha has a new profession. A female sumo wrestler. Last week, she fought with a tomoi girl who screamed on top of her lungs to humiliate and downgrade her.

While looking down at her freckled face, I wonder how intelligent I could be - should I fight? Or should I just listen and be silent.

Sha chose to fight.

Because she is no b*tch. Tomoi girl was crossing the border when she called her that!

Stomp my feet...this sumo girl is back.

People said "see the leg la!"

Sha is saying - "see the fat la!"

Don't play with fat girl like me.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

sha: the red velvet cake

Happy Birthday Syahmi Afham!

Aunty Sha has forgotten that on 25th March 2005, your ibu sent me this message:

"Baby coming. aku kena ceasar la. bb in distress. ni tunggu mak aku. should be kol 2. doa utk aku, k?"
(13:45 p.m) -24th March 2005

At that time, Aunty Sha was a student in UNITEN, travelling across the border of Negeri Sembilan and Pahang; just to finish six credit hours before she was officially called a graduate! The transition between UNITEN College of Business caused her last 6 credits to be deferred to the boring campus!

Yup, Aunty Sha will always remember that day. That was the day when her International Finance's lecturer - Mr Baharudin bin Husin complimented her for her assignment. Her classmates said, "Sha...Mr Baha puji assignment awak td. Die suruh amik kertas test"

And when Aunty Sha met him, he said, "You did extremely well for your assignment. Good job." That was the day when Aunty Sha grinned from ear to ear - sighing with relief as the most difficult lecturer eventually acknowledged me. Alhamdulillah.

That was also the day when someone (a guy) was disturbing me in the computer lab. Aunty Sha was so fierce, I scolded the guy. He said he was 21 and Aunty Sha had automatically mentioned that she was 23 and not interested in younger guys. Sombong kan?

On the particular date you were born, Aunty Sha was dating my boyfriend in college, Mr. Ganu. He was not studying in the same university. We stayed together for more than a year before we separated. Perhaps dear, one day you will hear this story from ibu and ayah - about the visit we had when ibu was pregnant with you, about the time when we visited you during confinement and sadly, maybe about the time when Aunty Sha broke up with him before you and your family departed to Japan. Ibu was playing the part of Aunty Sha's big sister, as usual. I hope one day you'll be protective to Syafi as well as how ibu was taking care of Aunty Sha, okay?!

Well, yes dear...Aunty Sha's love story when you were born was not fabulous. But on the day you were born, she thought she was in love and her theme song was by Mariah Carey and Brian McKnight - Whenever You Call. I wonder in future, who will be your favourite? Definitely not Thomas?;)

2010 and you are now a 5 years old handsome boy with a younger sister to protect. Alhamdulillah. A fortnight ago, Aunty Sha and ibu were reminiscing the sweet memory of the day when your parents got married and Aunty Sha was the pengapit. It felt like yesterday when I wore the 6 inches platform, holding the umbrella when your parents were clad in purple songket. While typing this, Aunty Sha is smiling - remembering the night when ibu was picking up her wedding outfit in the evening - before Aunty Sha spent the last night of your mum being a single lady.

Yes, sweetheart. The story can go on and on....

Somehow this red velvet cake reminds me of you. Yes, if it is not because of the sms your ibu sent me yesterday - Aunty Sha might have forgotten. But dear...the images of you wearing red shirt were flashing through my eyes - you are such an adorable boy. Hope you won't be the heart breaker with that melting eyes of yours, okay!

Aunty Sha will always pray for your success. Insya-Allah, you will be loved as you're a lovable boy. May your days filled with happiness, blessings and good health. Jadi anak yang soleh dan taat. And sayang...please...please...please...don't forget the person whom we love the most - the lady who has been carrying you everywhere in her tummy when your ayah was in Japan (she was strong, you see!)

Well, even after 5 years - Aunty Sha is still grinning on your birthday. I hope there'll be compliment and appreciation. This time, it's not from the lecturer. But from my boss. Aunty Sha managed to catch her dateline today, THE UNDERSTANDING ONE. I guess your birthfday is my lucky day:) Aunty Sha feels so sleepy....til then....

My prayers will always be with you.

Aunty Sha

* Maybe I'll get married on your next birthday kot? Who knows!
* Stories based on my old blog entries;)

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

sha: the clown and i

A Pure Clown
Originally uploaded by Kenny Maths
My menses was supposed to be every 19th - but this month, it was late by 2 days. So, during those 2 days I had stomach cramp and uneasiness; my mood changed rapidly according to the environment. Not to mention bad temper and quick bad judgment:P

So, when someone approached me at the LRT station (at the walkway near the concourse area), I was definitely shocked. He wore a blue t-shirt and faded jeans with black sling back.

Himher: Excuse dear, are you going to take the LRT?
Me: Yes.
Himher: I see...I, you're working at Petronas right?
Me: (I looked at him and frowned)
Himher: Must be...must look like someone who works in Petronas.
Me: (small smile with no word)
Himher: My name is William. I know I look like a lady. Actually, I'm a gay.
Me: (nodded)
Himher: I need help, what is your name?
Me: Sha.
Himher: Sha...William here needs help. William was asking the Muslim but because William is a Christian, nobody wanted to help. (he/she made a sad smile)
Me: Mmmmmhhmmm...
Himher: Sha...William dropped wallet at the LRT just now. Need to go to Seremban. No money to buy ticket.
Me: Okay...
Himher: Pls borrow William some money, Sha.
Me: I'm going to Seremban too.
Himher: (stunned)
Me: Come. I'll buy your ticket.
Himher: I need to take the commuter to Seremban.
Me: The bus is cheaper.
Himher: But I want to go to KL Sentral.
Me: Why?
Himher: Because...actually I need to go to Malacca, my dear. Through Seremban.
Me: Then, you have to take the bus.
Himher: Mmmm...just give me the money, okay.

And I would say he looked so scary until I wanted to smash my big handbag to his/her face. (that was when I realised he was wearing lipstick and eyeliner)

Me: I'll buy you ticket. But I won't give you MY money.
Himher: But why?
Me: You asked for help and I tried to help. Don't ask.

His/her face looked murderous. Then he sighed before he walked away from me.

Masya-Allah...the creature looked like a clown.

Sha nyaris kena pow dengan PONDAN~!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

sha: p.r.e.g.n.a.n.t

My aunty said, "Hep! kawin dulu..." to my status in Facebook. I smiled at the monitor and shook my head. Yes, aunty...I knew what you mean. Sometimes when dreams is taking over the reality, you will say lots of things.

Perhaps, I'm just exhausted? I don't know. What I do know is today, besides the word W.O.R.K, I am infatuated with the word P.R.E.G.N.A.N.T. So, when my friend called me to say she is back from Bali, I had automatically asked her progress. Apparently, news about pregnancy excites me more than ever!

I saw a woman showing her pregnancy kit to everyone and cheerfully declared that she is pregnant. It happened last week; when I was dwelling with several emotions - separated with Sepet, lots of work, other commitment etc. Envy crept through my organs an squeezed like ice hands - but I knew that fate is determined by Allah. Maybe I am not that lucky as yet!

But when I did the quiz in Facebook - "When will you get pregnant?" I laughed to myself. The quiz was indicating that I will be pregnant in December 2010. Today is 23rd of March 2010. I don't even have a partner, a husband and I'll be pregnant by end of this year? The quiz became a joke;)

But what a minute. What if I am pregnant?

"Besides food and oxygen, a pregnant mother will also pass the transient emotions like sadness or the unborn babies, says the studies. So the emotional status of the mother can change the total individuality of the child, warns the experts. "

What am I doing lately?

WORK - calculating and playing with figures.
WORK - planning schedules and designing processes
WORK - corresponding with hard headed people who can only speak Chinglishlay as they can't speak in Malay or English properly.
WORK - looking at my handsome boss and my cute and small assistant across my desk. Today I forgot to bring my work handphone to the office. I received more than 20 missed calls and 7 msgs from 3 bosses when I reaced home!

And this is my favourite comment for my status yesterday:
Me: kalau mengandung sekarang, sure anak pandai matematik. hahahaha..

Syariza-Annur Idris: haha.. sure ke? make sure speaking sekali ye. pastu sila memasak lbh kerap. n not to forget, sila jgn jd workaholic, nnti bsr jd workaholic bdk tuh kesiannnn

Hahaha. Workaholic. That's who I am right now. I don't even have the time to bloghop and I'm typing my posting with dreamy eyes everyday;)

But then again...if an expertise of child can be determined by her/his mother's activity, then...

calculating and playing with figures - my child will excel in Math
planning schedules and designing processes - my child will be systematic and well coordinate~!
corresponding with hard headed people who can only speak Chinglishlay as they can't speak in Malay or English properly - oh, no...this is not good.
looking at my handsome boss and my cute and small assistant across my desk - hehehe...can't imagine this, but they are indeed beautiful people. Kenan?!

Work is not bad after all.

I just need some good night sleep tonight.
Maybe this pregnancy thing is just temporary.

Or I'm having the andartu's baby fever again:P

Monday, March 22, 2010

sha: thumbelisha

Last week, while I stayed back until 12am in the office to chase dateline; someone told me about about a rumours and gossips that she heard about me. Well, it is not really a gossip, you see. It is a fact which I believe is purposedly spread to hurt me;)

The person started the conversation with...
"I have a bad news for you..."

So, I asked what was it.

And she answered,
"I was talking to a friend and he called you fat."

I laughed.

"Yeke? Sha tak pernah pun jumpa kawan awak tu..."

And she nodded, "Itulah."

Apparently, someone else described me as fat to that person and that person believed every word. My body size was included. The person then used the description to describe me to others. I had never met the person in my whole life but the person dared to just called me "Gemuk". We have never ever been introduced. That was the funny thing about it. He was describing the person he never met before!;P

So, I listened to all the description. Yes, I admit that it hurt like hell, but when I came to think about it, what has been said was totally funny, yet expected. I mean, this is not the first time. So, why bother?

Before this, I used to have a boss who made a remark, "AhPodah, ko tanya Si Gemuk tu dia nak pergi makan ke tak?" The so-called question was so loud, it hurt my eardrums.

AhPodah then asked me, "Eh Sha, ko nak makan tak?" before giggling like a cheap strumpet. AhPodah - feeling proud and satisfied that my former boss was calling me Si Gemuk, smiled smugly at me. The heaven was at her feet.

Well, somehow I found that her attitude was amazing. She was so happy that the boss was calling me Si Gemuk, she didn't realise that the boss himself weigh more than 100kg. She looked adoringly at the boss who just jeered me; as if he was her saviour. Hehehe...Ahpodah...Ahpodah...luckily I'm no longer in the same office with you. Otherwise, I'll die of being a hypocrite:P

This time, I heard that description of me has been made by another fatso who have a double chin. Don't you realise how hilarious it is? The fat ones are the betrayers in their own clans! (Perhaps these people should join The Biggest Loser; they'll certainly enjoy the politics and alliance there)

Human are like fingers. The fat ones will be described as thumbs and the skinny ones will be described as the little finger or pinky.

I picked this up from wikipedia:
Thumb, often considered not to be a finger, but is.
- do you realise how many fat girls have been discriminated from ting ting or lompat getah because of their size?

Even though people discriminate and make fun of a thumb, it is better to point using your thumb then the forefinger. You don't use the finger you used to pick your nose to point:P

Eeeeee....taik idung!

Having said all these, I have to think positively about my size. Indeed, I am a thumb. Thumbelisha!!!

Yes, I am Thumbelisha. A girl who will face lots of adventure before she fall in love with a thumb prince just her size:P

Let's fly through the flowers, darling!

Question is:
Enggang sama enggang,
Pipit sama pipit.
Thumbelisha and Thumb Prince.
What happened to the opposite attraction?

Perhaps, pinching stomachs will be fun:P

*Sha is grinning from ear to ear*

Sunday, March 21, 2010

sha: not a backstreet girl

Tough Backstreet Boys
Originally uploaded by nicolegirl201
I have been tagged again. This time it was from ashie. Actually, I don't really have the time but after seeing all these figures in the computer, I am exhausted. I'm alone in the office on Sunday and officially working 7 days in a week:)

I have to admit that the tag is a bit tricky.

The Rules:
Using only song names from one artist, cleverly answer these questions. Try not to repeat a song title. You can choose whichever song title that suits the answer - or you can choose to put your iTunes on shuffle mode to choose the answer for you.

I chose to pick my artist and since I was in the mood of listening to the oldies, these are my answers. Enjoy:)

Pick Your Artist.
Backstreet Boys

Are you male or female?
If You Want It To Be Good Girl (Get Yourself A Bad Boy)
- People said, I had a bad boy as my ex-boyfriend. So, does it makes me the good girl? Ecewwwaaahhh...*blush blush*

Describe yourself.
Like A Child
- I'm still catching up on between 27 to 28 years old maturity while preserving all the values I have as a child (used to be a very obedient child and want to remain one!). And...yes, I can be childish sometimes:)

How do you feel about yourself.
- My love is Larger than Life because as As Long as You Love Me, I will always be there for the people I love. But Quit Playin' Game (with My Heart) because it will only make me feel Incomplete and you will Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely. But, chill up Everybody because Sha will be back, alright! I want to live my life as it is for now and I Want It That Way;) (how many songs is that? Hehehe)

Describe where you currently live:
Safest Place To Hide
- where I am surrounded with love and protection by the two person who presented the miracle of Allah by producing me!

If you could be anywhere, where would you be:
Spanish Eyes
- Spain...on the Road Again. Where I can tag along Gwyneth Paltrow. Perhaps she can teach me on how to lose weight while enjoying paella!

Your favourite form of transportation:
More Than That
- more than a commuter. More than a red Honda. More than a black Hyundai. A car which has it all - like the Batmobile.

Your best friend is:
- she is my darling, my soul and quiet oftenly, the answer to my prayers;)

Your favourite color is:
The One
- THAT ONE particular colour. Don't you think it is too obvious that I like purple?

What's the weather like:
- Too hot. Nobody can CONSOLE me when I'm sweating:P

Favourite time of the day:
Everytime I Close My Eyes
- Zzz...zzz...zz....and I'm dreaming of him again. Mr. J!!!

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
One In A Million
- Everyone has a different story. Mine is one in a million:)

What is life to you:
All I Have To Give
- I'm giving MY ALL so that my loved ones have a better life.

What is the best advice you have to give:
What Makes You Different (Makes You Beautiful)
- My big boss (in the convention yesterday) said, "Kecantikan anda adalah kebolehan anda!" and I felt like crying when I heard that. Thanks, big boss. Your words meant a lot. My chubbiness will make me beautiful, insyaAllah!

If you could change your name ,what would it be:
Shining Star
- I was imagining myself singing with Ramli Sarip, the ROCK star, last night. Well, I did sing with him. He was onstage and I couldn't believe that I was actually watching his performance LIVE~! Yiiiiiiipppieeeeeeeeee.....

Your favourite food is:
Anywhere For You
- can't really tell. I eat anywhere and everywhere these days. I'll go Anywhere for You, Mr. J:)

Thought for the Day:
Get Another Boyfriend
- explanation needed, don't you think?

It's Gotta Be You

Thanks, ashie. This posting makes me remember all the BSB songs:P

Friday, March 19, 2010

sha: i'm not blind!

see the world
Originally uploaded by rolala photo
When I received an e-mail with font 18 yesterday, I was furious. The person who sent it to me had intention and that was too obvious!!!

I am officially a girl with spectacle beginning March 2010. Yes, the Specky Sha. I have been wearing spectacle - off and on since I was 15 years old but I have never thought that my eyes will eventually score 350 for lenses. Welcome to the blurry world, Sha. I can't take off my glasses anymore, said the specialists!

Choosing the spectacle was not easy. My round face and tudung has made it difficult for my face not to look too smug. Eventually I chose a half-frame spectacle. Actually, that was not my choice either. It was my parents'. They told me to choose that instead of the other. My chubby cheeks were not helping during the selection process:(

My first impression? I thought I definitely looked ugly. Yo Soy Sha La Fea!

What does it means by Yo Soy Sha La Fea? Literally, it means, "I'm Sha, The Ugly One". This is a translation from Spanish to English based on my limited reading. But I guess the meaning was correct; considering that I learned both the statement and its translation from the drama series itself - Yo Soy Betty La Fea (click to know more about the Columbian drama)

Betty Solano was a smart girl who used to adore her boss, Armando. I hate Betty. One, because she had a crush with her boss and secondly because she changed herself for him. She had this diary about Armando and she used to cry at night when Armando chose his fiance, Marcella. I mean, I watched this drama until the end when I was young but I didn't know I would be this critical as I grew older. Looking back, I am wondering why I was so stupid to even watch Betty. Office crush, undivided devotion until one lost her own personality were definitely WRONG.

But that was what I have been doing for several years, wasn't it? So yes, I was indeed a Betty. (oh, sh*t). The only difference was that the Armando fell for me first (which made me less Betty than I think I was). So, I was not really a Betty.

Then there was a Betty Suarez from the Ugly Betty. She is more confident and realistic; comfortable with her own way of dressing, she is not slim and she values her family. Plus, she is smart and creative in her own nerdy ways! She doesn't want to be anyone, she just wanted to be herself.

So, do I want to be like this Betty? Perhaps. After all, it is better than being Manjalara (another specky character in a Malay drama;starred Emelda Rosmilla).

This is because...

Fat is not stupid. Specky is not stupid either. Betty proves it!

And Sha wanted to prove it too. When her handsome boss (who thankfully does not portray Daniel Meade in Ugly Betty at all!) asked her to reply the e-mail yesterday, she tried to use her brain. She controlled her anger, type an e-mail in normal font and did her research well. Alhamdulillah, things went well. At least up to the time I am typing this posting.

After all, Betty has Henry.
So where is Sha's Henry then?
She is going to a corporate dinner this weekend. Maybe she'll find Henry there?

Oh, come on. Be realistic, Sha. Life is no drama:)

Thursday, March 18, 2010

sha: the book or the flower?

When a guy called me to say that he read The Lucky One, I felt very happy to talk about the book. Not all guys read books like girls, you see. Some guys love technicality; they tend to spend more time on practical than theory. So, yes...I took the great opportunity to discuss the book I loved with him and I enjoyed the discussion (I really hope that he is reading this posting!)

I made a posting about The Lucky One few months ago. The book is nice, considering it is about pursuing a goal which is nearly impossible. Furthermore, the book is also about love and family; which makes it perfect for me to read. I just love to have one thing all stories at the same time. It makes me look into myself more - especially when I'm feeling unlucky.

I just bought a new interesting book by Nicholas Sparks entitled Dear John (see the picture!) when he gave me another phone call and said that his ex-girlfriend bought the book, read it and suddenly remember him. And she called him just to tell him about it! I was shocked; considering that they have been separated for quite sometimes and their journeys were going to two separate direction. There was a tiny chance of reconciliation, if I believe things correctly.

I found it amusing - knowing that they haven't contacted each other. When you recall someone because of a song or a place you used to visit - it's kind of normal. But a book? Hmmmm....

Let's go down the memory lane, shall we? Have I ever think about someone when I'm reading a book?

Yes, there was.

I recall the time when I cried alone in the hospital reading Chicken Soup for the Soul for Mothers and Daughters.

But I rarely being influence by the book I read. Non-fiction - perhaps. Fiction? Well, there is a fantasy and reality. I am using books as a tool to release stress. By reading a book, I will separate myself from the reality for a while before continuing my chores. Guess what? Recently I have been reading a lot because I have tonnes of office work to do.

So, tell me folks. Do you think the story of a fresh grad executive whom automatically climb the career ladder without any experience whatsoever amaze me? Shall I be dreamy about having a handsome boss who eventually put an interest in me? Or...a story about an extraordinary Malaysian Cinderella?

As much as I want to separate the reality and fantasy - I have to extend my knowledge as well.

Sad to say, several Alaf 21 novel failed me.

Typical love stories with unrealistic facts. I agree that English novels can be stupid too, but don't you think that the anything-can-happen-in-a-book should teach us something too?

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

sha: spongesha squarepants

Sponge Bob
Originally uploaded by
Someone told me that I'm like a sponge - ready to asbsord the good or bad. Due to my delicate condition, it is likely that I might be absorbing bad things without realising it. In other words, when someone break up with the partner, there is a chance of rebound - doing things beyond conciousness like finding a new boyfriend without realising that the option chosen might be the wrong one.

Yes, maybe I'm like a sponge. But have I made the wrong decision?

My best friend told me that it is best for a girl to keep her love life to herself - do not tell any man about it especially after you break up. She said a man will take advantage of a girl who is mending her heart - might offer to ammend it for her but did not mentioned the possibility of shredding it to pieces to her. Most men just want to have fun - a vulnerable girl will be a perfect prey.

So what did I do just now? I wanted to talk about something else and it turned out to be talking about Mr. Sepet. The person who was listening to me was a man. And after a while...I stopped talking and realised he just smiled and stared at me.

"You sayang dia lagi...." that was what he said.

I blushed.

Errr...I don't know what to say. I'm such a fool. Can I cut my tongue now?

Strangely, I felt as if a heavy burden has been lifted off my shoulders. Amin.

Now, I SpongeSha Squarepants absorbing anything bad?

Sunday, March 14, 2010

sha: the good sha

If only I am as strong as Alicia Florick!

Weekend. Here we go again. I received phone calls from my best friend since Friday but my schedule was too pact to even discuss any plan.

I thought I wanted to go to work.

However, I need to attend certain things, do the laundry, and make sure that my bed is tidy enough to sleep in. Mr. J has taken too much of my time these days. I really wish he will stop bugging me. Apparently, he doesn't. He even haunts me in my sleep!

How about today? It is too hot to be true. I sweat like hell!

But this sweaty condition is just a minor challenge in life, don't you think? While I was folding my brothers' clothes (yes, boys will always be boys!), I watched my current favourite tv series - The Good Wife.

At first, I watched this series because of Juliana Marguilies (and he parents are Jewish!). I used to adore her character in ER when I was a teenager. She was the nurse who dated Dr. Ross (George Clooney). She got pregnant and she moved on - a strong character indeed.

So when I saw the promotion for The Good Wife, I made a point to possibly reach home before 10pm on Thursday; hoping to be inspired. Yes, people. I need to be inspired these days - even my friends notice that. I hope I can write cheerful stories for you guys, reminiscing all my sweet memories and share it with you - but it seems that things are a lot harder than I think.

What is happening to Sha?

Maybe I just want things to be perfect. Perhaps I'm pushing myself too much until I had to sit and cried in the park. Commitment is my priority and things are not getting my way. Sometimes I even think whether I have made all the right decisions in my life.

The character of Alicia Florick has taught me lots of things. She has been betrayed by the husband whom she loved a lot. She worked her butt out while preserving her marriage and protecting her children. Everyone is talking about her and she didn't give a damn about it.

Yes, maybe I'm not a lawyer like her. I'm not a wife. I'm not a mother. But I have to accept that the world around me is changing. After what had happened in my life recently, I have to be more adaptable, forgiving and at the same time accepting.

No more crush. No more love life. No playing around.

I just have to work hard while preserving at the same time thanking Allah for what I have.

That is what I should do.

I am now adoring the outfits in the series. I wish I can wear what Kalinda, Diane and even Alicia are wearing. Purple and maroon are totally outrageous!

Loose some weight first;)

Saturday, March 13, 2010

sha: dear klcc

Klcc park 2
Originally uploaded by aanesi
Dear KLCC,

At 8.02pm, 12th March - I was gazing at hundreds of people around me from this spot. I sat down on the stairs and watched the water; thinking that the psychologist might be right. When you're too tense up, you're supposed to see something calm to calm yourself. Too bad I couldn't see any fish; but the thoughts of fresh air instead of being in the air-conditioned room made me better.

I was looking at the people in Starbucks - wondering how it felt like to be there as a barista. If I'm a barista in KLCC, I bet things would be more challenging. People don't drink decaf in Seremban. Few will ask for extra shots. And less will try green tea latte. But here in KLCC, things are different. There are numerous types of people and numerous types of attitudes.

Maybe I'm from a small town. I'm not used to the sparkling lights. I don't fancy glamorous stuff. Maybe I'm just fat. Sophistication is out of my grasp. Maybe I'm just unlucky. Things are not always the way I wanted it to be.

This week,
I am seeing a guy whom I think is in love. He can't stop texting. He can't stop talking through the phone. He just doesn't realise that he is not the same anymore. Some people told me that you'll lose half of your IQ when your love hormone is bursting. Sometimes I think it is true; for whatever I told him did not make any sense. I had to repeat myself several times, just to give a simple explanation on something which has been taught to me before.

I'm exhausted.

Please tell him this:
I miss the smart person I used to respect.

Being in love is not equivalent to being ignorant.

Please KLCC,

Let my tears drop today as I don't know how long can I take it anymore.

This is a challenge, Ya Allah.


Friday, March 12, 2010

sha: mean sha

I accidentally saw this video clip in YouTube when I was actually trying to find something else;)

Mean Disney Girls. A creative method of delivering another story using animation. People always perceive Cinderella and happily ever after characters as perfect without looking at their flaws. Less people like the antagonist like I do, but that's not my point. My point is and always will be - Happily ever after is not that realistic. I always believe in fate by Allah:)

But we can't help it, kan? Most people want to have indefinite love, craving for perfection while casting aside the reality. A partner must be perfect, meet all the long list of criteria and physically adorable.

Come on. Wake up. It has never been easy for me. It happened to others, maybe. But not to everyone. A handsome partner with 6 figures salary? Not ALL of us are that lucky. Even if these people are getting that kind of partner, is there any guarantee that the person, as a person, is a sweet as the 6 figures sound? I doubt that. Everyone has flaws.

So, when people say, "Kau ni memilih..." when it comes my way of finding a partner - I don't really complain about it. I'm not looking for happily ever after - just be aware of the reality.

I don't like glass slippers, by the way. My feet are too chubby for it:)

Sha: Glass slippers, anyone?

Thursday, March 11, 2010

sha: after midnight

Sleeping cat
Originally uploaded by Natasha Fadeeva
After midnight i shall kidnap you from the world
and i’ll keep you in my room
hush now my love and hold my hand
after midnight i shall take you to a place
where no one else should know of
hush now my love and hold my hand...

- After Midnight by Yuna

I have never faced this problem before. I mean, the world knows how busy I am these days and how much I don't have the time to update my own blog. However, it has never affected my life - I mean, I still have time for the family. I wonder how incredulous it sounds - considering that I'm traveling from Seremban to KL everyday. Things are much better in contrast to during the time when my office was just 20 minutes from home.

Things could get pathetic when you least expected it kan?
And when you don't, things can't be any better.

That's the beauty of life.

But this problem really troubles me. I am trying to shake it off but apparently the more I try to ignore it, the more it happens! What is happening?

Okay, I tell you what:
Everytime I close my eyes, I will see this person's face.

Whose face is that?
Let it be a secret. I can't tell you.

Perhaps, I'm too tired. I keep on dreaming about the same thing - over and over and over again. Sometimes it becomes a nightmare.

Some people say..."mimpi itu mainan tidur" or it has got to do with unclean things which disturb you while you're sleeping.

Psychologically - your mind is working even when it should be resting.

Does this means that I'm thinking about this person a lot until I keep on seeing the face each time I close my eyes?

Logically, yes.

But I know I have been thinking about my boyfriends, friends and family before this too.
I thought about them A LOT.

Why am I not dreaming about them?

Why this person?

I should scrub my feet more after this.

Ini serius....!!!

No more dreams, please...

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

sha: libra and aries

Originally uploaded by Arabic Eyes!
21st of March is Sepet's birthday. We have never celebrated his birthday properly and I was thinking of celebrating it properly this year. Too bad - we broke up before it ever happened. I guess, calling him and wishing happy birthday is not an option right now.

Unlike my best friend who managed to move on after sending her last gift to her ex, I found it difficult to move on since I kept on being clingy to our friendship. The friendship that we had will only generate hope. Hope is the last thing I want to have considering that it is clear that our relationship has no hope at all.

Why is that?
We don't have marriage in our plans, therefore is there any reason for us to continue the relationship?

So, we called it off - hoping that one day both of us will be happy in our own ways. InsyaAllah.

Sad? Indeed I am. Almost five years of having him in my life was my happiest years; the most challenging ones, and the fastest ever. I didn't realise how fast the time pass by but it was definitely worth it. If I'm looking at the level of maturity I gained out of this connection, I will have no regret at all.

But I have to find my cure.

So, I playfully searched the net for Aries and Libra compatibility. And I found these:

There is a powerful initial attraction between these two opposites, for in certain areas each supplies what the other lacks. Both are fond of of sexual pleasures, but the Aries probably will try to go too far too quickly. The Libra is inclined to idealize everything and can lose all illusions. Later Libra will look for someone less demanding, and Aries will bind someone more adoring. The physical connection is possible, but only temporarily. The marriage is very rare.

---> The marriage is very rare. Hehe. What a co-incidence.

And another one....

Two signs which naturally attract and complement each other. Tactful Libra tones down the Ram's fury, and redirects his or her individualism towards a partnership whose logical conclusion is the marriage which matters so much to Libra. The Libran harvests the Ram's vigor, but is sometimes rebuffed by blunt language. Aries must be careful to give Libra time to express him or herself. Otherwise, the magnetism which attracts them may turn into mutual repulsion.

---> This is accidentally true too:)

I don't believe in these things. Sadly, the co-incidence were the truth. It is kind of annoying and hilarious at the same time but I couldn't help believing that this might be the sign for me to cure.

And aaahhhh...I can't help looking at Sagi and Libra compatibility as well. Who knows the co-incidence are the truth this time. Apparently, the horoscopes are saying that I need to find a Sagi boyfriend.

What do you say, Mr. Pocket? Hehehehe.

Nahhhh...Sha is just kidding.

My parents' zodiacs are not compatible at all.
They have been married for 28 years.

Yet, I still need to cure right?

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

sha: me and kursus kahwin

Originally uploaded by emily cummins
"Apa saja untukmu
Tak ku hiraukan waktu
Katakan saja kan ku laksana
Permaisuri kau bertahta di jiwa..."

Thanks to the person who sang this song last week. I knew it was jokingly sang by the person to lighten up the mood. Unfortunately the song stuck in my head for at least 2 days. Today, while I'm scheduling my blog, the melody just came out of my mouth.

Sha is singing...

"Untukmu kasih
Ku cuba meraih
Bintang di angkasa
Walau tak terdaya, kan ku ikhtiar..."

Pergghhh...jiwanglah pulak!!!

How I wish I am 16 years old again! I am now listening to all these old school songs - from the rusty Rock Kapak to Ziana Zain and Siti Nurhaliza. When I'm in the mood of singing English songs - I sang Alanis', Meredith, Sheryl's, Backstreet Boys, Spice Girls and B*witched. I don't realise that these songs are more than 10 years old. How fast the time flies kan?

I almost forgotten that 2010 is the year when my younger cousin sisters are planning to get married instead of the elder ones (because they are already married). Frankly, this reminds me of my age and for some reason it is freaking me out! I'm old...huwahahahaha...2 more years and I'm going to reach thirty. Adoi.

Jealousy is out of the question. Rezeki is rezeki and jodoh is jodoh. It is not that I'm feeling left out because my cousins are getting married. I should be happy that family members are getting married. At least they are. I have seen a family with only two possible brides and only one got married at the age of 36 years old. The first grandchild is 28 and she is not married either. Whose family is that? Mine;)

That's the good thing of having both sides of families - each has its own uniqueness. I have weddings from my mother's side and fishing competition from my father's side. It's kind of balance, don't you think? I'm such a LUCKY girl. Hehehe.

You might be thinking that I'm going to any Kursus Kahwin; and that is the reason on why this posting has such title today. If you think that way, you're almost right. I had this urge of going to a Kursus Perkahwinan last week. While I was going through the wedding cards and leave application forms - I felt as if I wanted to take the leave for myself.

Why was that? It was because I couldn't imagine taking leave to go to a Kursus Kahwin. I couldn't imagine datelines while sitting on a pelamin. I couldn't imagine sleeping on a satin and lacy bed while there are tons of papers on my desk.

But some people do. Some people can. I have a high level of respect towards the ones who managed to finish their task before they got married. That was certainly awesome. How about those who didn't manage to do so? comment.

While my friend Q was inviting me to another type of courses, I smiled to myself. I couldn't imagine going to a Kursus Kahwin as a single - without a partner by my side. That was totally out of question. Imagine being alone in this pool of people who are in love? Wooww...I don't think the feeling is blissful at all.

But then again...why am I feeling "the bliss" even when I'm not in one of those Kursus Kahwin?

Oh yeah...right. I'm in Facebook. Where everyone is stating the word husband, wife and kids.

Errr...I think I should log off.

The feeling of being in Facebook is similar to being in Kursus Kahwin.

Walau tak terdaya, kan ku ikhtiar...

Oh...shut up, Sha:)

* Any wedding stories to tell me, folks?

Monday, March 08, 2010

sha: the love tag

01] Are you currently in a relationship?
Nope...used to be, though. At least a month ago.

[02] Have you ever been given a rose?
Yes, received a lot from my friends but never from my other half. Don't really care because my favourite flower is orchid:)

[03] What is your all-time favorite love story movie?
Believe it or not - it's Sound of the Music. I love the smart Maria and the macho Captain Von Trapp!

[04] Are you in love ryte now?
In love with my job. So yes.

[05] Do you believe that everyone has a soulmate?

[06] What's your current problem?
I just broke up with the man I loved for five years. Trying to step on a solid ground without looking back. Not finding for a new love but always finding for a new interest. Hahahaha...

[07] Have you ever had your heart broken?
I told you. It was a month ago.

[08] Your thoughts on online or long distance relationships?
It won't work! At least for me.

[09] Have you ever seen a friend as more than a friend?
Yes. Once.

[10] The person you're with right now?
My lovely family. (so, it's not a person)

[11] I tag:
Whoever reading this. Because I want to know your thoughts on this. At least...let's see what Mr. Pocket is going to say to this:P

I'm not the type of blogger who does tag. But I saw this in CikCookie's blog and I felt that it was the right time for me to do it. Why? This is because I need inspiration to write my blog right now. I have been busy and still busy. My brain is not functioning clearly except when I'm working.

So, guys...this is the tag that I have answered. I am depending on you to provide me with comments so that I will be able to type my next posting.

My theme for the month is: LOVE and RELATIONSHIP.


Sunday, March 07, 2010

sha: catfish for breakfast

I didn't know how tired I was until yesterday. I came back from class at 2pm and then I had my lunch. The last thing I remember was the time when I chatted with my parents before reading the latest book I bought. The title is Legendary Lover from Susan Johnson. I know...Sha seems to be in the midst of dwelling with her romantic side a lot recently. Trust me, I can't control myself either.

I guess after a long, comfortable relationship - I'm suddenly finding myself in a conflict of identity.

But that book certainly dozed me off. The next thing I heard was my youngest brother saying this to ibu, "Lamanya kakak tido. Tak bangun-bangun ke?"

And I realised that it's not my habit to sleep during daytime. With the long hours in dreamland, my plans to watch Negri Sembilan vs Perlis in the stadium was gone. I have to make other plans soon.

So, I watched Cerekarama instead. The title of the drama was not that catchy (Dalil Cinta sounds like Ayat-Ayat Cinta, Ketika Cinta Bertasbih....Tahajjud Cinta). How about Cinta di Sakaratul Maut next time? (please sense the sarcasm, fwens.)

But considering that Fahrin Ahmad (FA) and Sharifah Amani (SA) were the main characters, I had instantly glued to carpet in front of the tv. I'm sorry Linda Onn and Scha, but this man is my favourite actor.LO was not my favourite DJ either - so why should I care about the gossip? C'mon...talent is the major thing, okay?! The drama was great - it managed to catch my attention until the end.

One great thing I learned from the drama was about how typical our culture is. A woman must learn to cook and clean regardless how educated she is. I remember someone said this to me, "Yelah...dunia sekarang perempuan nak sama macam lelaki. Akhirnya macam-macam jadi." Maybe in this drama, a girl gor married without knowing how to cook and the mother in-law compared her with the other Felda Girl.

Yes, blame the girl for not knowing how to cook - she should at least helped her mother.

But, do you realise how many mothers pamper their daughters these days? I have seen examples in front of me. A daughter is studying in the university, coming back for semester break for three damn months and still expecting the mother to cook for her? The mother, on the other hand, will say, "Anak aku penat belajar...biar aku tolong masak." The daughter will then spend her time talking on the phone until late night and wake up late the next morning.

That's normal in our culture these days, don't you think?

Yes, not all mothers are like Puan Zakiah - the mother of Sha a.k.a Cheryna Pires. Cooking is going to be the time when we will talk and share things. It will be the opportunity to pass the knowledge, reminiscing old memories or even to create the bond. Ibu won't care about the blistering hands. "What's the use of me giving you Crabtree and Evelyn for a gift?" she said.

I don't care if you hate to see me praising my own mother in my blog. But has it occured to you how much a girl will miss if she is not helping her mother in the kitchen?

Some say that spaghetti is easier to cook in contrast to cooking Asam Pedas. Look at SA in the drama, she didn't even know how to fry catfish (ikan keli). Ask her whether she can cook spaghetti using Prego. She might know how - considering that she is still a student and that is one of the normal menu. Ask her mother - she will say, "Anak aku memang tak pandai masak gulai tapi dia pandai masak spaghetti."

Mothers love to compete - trust me, they will compete over a canned spaghetti to save their daughter's ass. Can you blame them for their love and affection?

So, don't be surprise if you see catfish as your breakfast (like the one in the picture). One day we might not going to eat Keli Sambal - we'll eat the fish with hash brown & dollops of mayonaise instead:)

Saturday, March 06, 2010

sha: i like red cheeks


"To blush is to display redness in one's face; the term is usually used when the redness is a result of an emotional response, which could reflect embarrassment, shame, or modesty. Blushing can also be associated with being in love."

I was lazying around with colleague in Dunkin Donuts after work when a guy approached us and wanted to sell Escada perfume for RM30 per bottle. No disrespect - but I am very selective person when it comes to certain things and perfume is one of them.

So, when we said no to the perfumes, the guy blushed and went out of sight. I was relief as hell. I couldn't stand the fact that mentioned, "Abang jarang masuk Dunkin Donuts ni. Selalunya kat Dome or Starbucks - tempat yang lebih class."

Yeah...right. He didn't realise that he was talking to a former barista. And just because we were wearing baju kurung, it didn't mean that we were targets to be duped. Escada for RM30? C' must be kidding!

That might be the reason why I didn't pay attention to his red cheeks.

Okay. That is just an introduction. (lengthy, don't you think? Sha should stop talking too much!)

Recently, I have been watching several expressions while taking the ride home. For some reason I rarely see the sun - so I would take the LRT in the evening. So, while I was gazing at the window and watched my own reflection, there were times when I saw other people's reflection too.

I saw this guy who thought that I was looking at him. He blushed to the roots of his hair and I nearly laughed at his reaction. Well, I was looking at the mirror and had something (or shall I say, someone?) in my mind. But he thought I was looking at him, I guess.

His red cheeks made me think of my own preference. I used to enjoy teasing people until they blushed. I loved to tease my brother, for instant, because he was fair and I liked to touch his ears when they turned red. Sepet was fair, so he blushed easily too. However, he made me blushed more than I did to him;)

But it seems not fair to the the ones who are dark, don't you think? How do we detect whether they are blushing or not? How do we know whether they are shy or in love?


Life is not just about the fair skin.


p/s: I like someone who blushes easily yet the person has a high level of confidence. Yet to find that. Am I being too choosy?

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

sha: that's not my name!

I have been hit by this question from someone I truly respect yesterday:

" You pernah tak kenal dengan sorang ni...dah suka then tiba-tiba dia kata dia nak kahwin...?"

I would say that I was not that shock when this person was asking these type of question. I mean, it is normal for people to ask me this kind of question but I never expected this to come from him. not him.

So, I started to think about how to answer the question. The first thing which flew out of my mouth was about my unforgotten crush in college and Mr. Hakuto - whom I knew in school. Both were not meant to be with me regardless how close I was to them. I guess I was better at being a friend than this lovey-dovey girlfriend;p

Stok kawan - say some guys!

Actually, I had something else in mind. I wanted to share with him but I was embarrassed. Well, typing this posting is not easy as well. However, after considering that most people will benefit from this story, I believe this is the right time to share.

During the first few months of being Mr. Sepet's girlfriend, I had to face one cold truth: my boyfriend was simply a charmer and a people person. He was friendly, caring especially to his co-workers and delegates, and he smiled a lot!

So, when I thought that he was the cruellest creature alive - most people would declined. They (especially the women) would say, "He is very kind and helpful." They would talk about their boyfriends and husband with him. The best thing about him was he would listen;)

One of the girls was his co-worker, Lynn. Lynn was sweet, pretty and she was someone that the guys classified as "manja". She is very soft spoken and she smiled a lot.

But she rarely smiled to me and I often wondered why. I smiled to her!

One day, I came to work early and managed to see my sweetheart on the floor. He nodded and gave me a small smile. Well, even though we were working at the same work place, we would never show it off. We knew that people already knew about our relationship but we maintained the professionalism most of the time.

I was trying to cover my expression when Lynn came over to his place and touched his shoulder. Suddenly, I felt the heat crept on my OWN shoulder. Yes, I knew that was normal - at least when it came to my boyfriend. They always came and asked things. But, body contact? Woooo....with that kind of soft touch on his shoulder? Woooo....those shoulders were mine!!!

I was silent until he came to my place and told me he was about to go home (we were working different hours). He recognised my rigidity but as usual he just shrugged things off. Later, when he called me during my break time, he told me, "Lynn belikan I turkey sandwich tadi!"

The jealous me answered, "Mesti sedap kan?"

He just laughed. I guess he didn't realised what was happening.

One thing happened after another. Since we were working in the same building, I could see how much Lynn was trying to get close to him. His delegates were telling me that they had lunch together. People asked me whether I was close to Lynn since he was close to her. Honestly, all those incidents made me angry and ashamed at the same time. But I had to be rationale. My boyfriend has always been misinterpreted because of his worldly personality.

And if Lynn was just a friend, discussing her with my boyfriend was impossible. His friends were his priority and that was our rules in relationship.

I must obey.


I was sitting in front of my boyfriend one weekend when he received a text message. When I looked at him, he was smiling to his phone. Nasty thoughts came into mind. I loathed the grin on his face. My bubbly mood changed and as usual, the jealousy was making me more quiet than ever.

He didn't realised that.

So, when he went to the toilet after a movie, I held his hand phone with a deep curiosity. He received a text message and I had the urge of reading the message. As I was dwelling whether to or not to press the button, my darling came and smiled.

"You nak baca message tu kan?" he asked.

I looked at him straight in the eye and said, "Yup." My lips were trembling. I felt like crying. Well, I managed to handle other girls perfectly well, but ever since Lynn came into the picture, hell broke loose.

We were in the car and he showed me his handphone.

"F, kan best kalau awak yang nak kahwin dengan Lynn...."

My tears were on the brink. God...the girl has guts! It was no wonder she didn't shake my hand when my boyfriend was introducing me to her!!!

"I dah dapat benda ni berbulan-bulan dah. Minggu depan Lynn nak kawen..." he began.

"Jangan cerita lagi boleh tak. Sha taknak dengar semua ni...." I started to get up and switched on the radio.

"Lynn is unhappy dengan tunang dia. I was just trying to help but it turned out this way. I'm sorry...I know you're hurt and you heard enough, " he carefully explained.

What happened to the chatty Sha?She gave Sepet a silent treatment.

I was watching DVD when the company held its annual dinner. Sepet went there with his friends. He called me when he got back at 2 a.m.

"Jom...I belikan you satay. You tak makan satu hari dah..." he consoled me. I was silent again.

"You tak tango tadi ke?" I asked him. The theme for the dinner was Latin.

"Tak. I duduk dengan budak-budak ni je. Lepak ngan my geng..."

"Ooooo...." I was silent again.

"You marah lagi ke? Jangan macam ni boleh tak. You have been handling things well before this!" Sepet could be temperamental sometimes.

"Someone is wishing you to be her husband. What else can I say...." I said quietly.

"Am I wishing her to be my wife? Have you asked that question?" he raised his voice a bit. I kept my silent again. When I reached home, I cried my heart out.

When I reached the office the following week, my colleague called me.

"Your man has been a very good boy, " she laughed.

"You mean?"

"He was with the men all the time. Didn't do anything you should be concerned of. Except that Lynn was trying to ask him to send her home but he said no straight away."

"Are you sure you're talking about MY MAN?"

"Positive. Look, I know you're angry but he has done all he could. She told me she liked your man and regretting the decision to marry her fiancé. But your man made it clear that you're the one."

"Yeah right...."

"Hey, this Lynn girl is seriously attracted to your man. But she won't leave her fiancé. She told me she just wanted to be sure that she is still wanted. "

Which appeared to be the case for the next two weeks. I have been patient to see that he held his breath when Lynn called him every time he talked to me. Or when Lynn sweetly text him when we were together.

So much for the uncertainty before marriage.

p/s: Dah nak kahwin, perlu lagi ke boyfriend lain?