Wednesday, September 22, 2010

cheryna love story: tulip larangan


Tulip bouquet
Originally uploaded by occecid
Seberapa salahkah diriku
Hingga kau sakiti aku begitu menusukku
Inikah caramu membalas
Aku yang selalu ada saat kau terluka...


We have been talking for a while. I suddenly found that I was talking a topic that I didn't want to discuss. With him.

"Dah baik balik dengan dia ke?" he asked. The expression was serious.
"Tak...taklah...orang lain..." I said slowly.
"Waaaa...orang baru. Siapa...siapa....? Ceritalah," he looked interested. I could see his teeth. At least for the first time that week.
"You tak kenal dia siapa," I blushed.

This is going to be really...really hard...

"Entahlah. Dengan Sepet dulu sampai lima tahun. Tapi tak miserable macam ni. This one baru sekejap. Tapi dah kelam-kabut tak tentu arah dibuatnya," I started slowly.
"Tu yang you kata you nak rest tu?" he asked.
I nodded.
"Yang dulu lima tahun...yang ni sekejap. Tuh la...perasaan ni kita tak boleh nak jangka kan, Sha?" he was looking ahead.
I was silent.

"Nampak sangat tak tentu arah bila you macam ni," he grinned. I smiled back.
"Macam mana nak buat ni ek?" I asked slowly.
He grinned broadly.
"Cakaplah kat dia..." he said.
"Gila! Dia nak kahwin bulan 12 ni tau! Takkan I nak terhegeh-hegeh pulak?" I asked with defiance.
"Ehhh...you tak boleh cakap jugak. Kalau I jadi you, lagi seminggu dia nak kahwin pun I pintas," he said.
"Crazy...."
"Tak...janji you dah cuba," he said confidently.
"Tapi kalau kacau orang punya kan tak elok..."
"Then...you yang mintak diri you sakit macam ni?"

The look on his face was challenging.
Adoi.

This is part 1 of Tulip Larangan.

Welcome, folks. I'll tell you my love story.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

sha: durian shape body


Pears Bowl
Originally uploaded by Mowielicious
At the time I'm typing this posting, my Facebook is a mess. Why? Well, that is the usual scenario of cursing and gloating after a football match. I just don't want to bother that much. The more I say things, the worse it's going to be.

But let it be the men whose doing all that routines of jeers. How about women? I mean, a slimy nose girl who might not know anything about football but pretend to be a fan is obviously a pain in the ass.

Milah was surfing the net when she asked me whether I was going to be free during the weekend. I asked her why. She said Manchester United was coming over to Malaysia. My eyebrow twitched with wonder.

Me: Are you sure, Milah?
Milah: Yes, I'm very sure.
Me: How come I didn't know about it?
Milah: Ni...keluar kat dalam internet ni. (the intonation was a bit...overbearing)
Me: Dekat mana?
Milah: One Utama.

My shoulders shook with mirth. As far as my almost damaged brain could remember, there was no way that One Utama would have a space for football field:)

Milah: I dengan bf I...kami sama. Dua-dua minat bola. Minat Manchester United.

I smirked. Yes, maybe. But you were not making sense, my dear. My heart was being schizophrenic - debating whether it should be nice or nasty. I hate wannabes and plastics!

Me: Satu team datang OU ke?
Milah: Eeeer...
Me: Siapa sponsor game kat OU tuh? Maxis?
Milah: Eh...tak...ni dia kata sini ada player MU dtg...
Me: Siapa?
Milah: Bryan.
Me: Bryan?
Milah: Alaaaa...pemain MU! (I think this is the reason why she is her bf's confidante~!)
Me: Bryan Robson? (I prompted)
Milah: Haaaa...yes...yes...dia...
Me: Itu player tua diorang....dah tak main untuk MU lagi....(I smiled)

Milah. A girl who patterns herself towards the specification of the boyfriend she is going out with. It is as if she is molding herself to become the girl the boyfriend needs. Each time she changes boyfriend will be each time she is changing her interests and topics.

Which is good. Because I think that might be the aura that guys are looking at in the girl like Milah. Even though her body is the shape of long bean, but she can mold her interest. She can look into just following all the boyfriend orders - depending on what the boyfriend likes. I can't remember when is the last time Milah says she likes Manchester United, but obviously she says that a lot after finding this new boyfriend. Because he likes MU.

Besides, long bean body shape is what guys are looking for these days:)

And that makes me smile with the disadvantages of having a pear shape body. Not only that it is less favourable - I don't even want to be someone else! And that maybe the reason of why I don't fall in love that easily - at least not six or seven boyfriends in seven months.

Or I'm just lack of aura? Hehe. I know Milah will say that is she reads this.

Because I found out that my pear shape body was the favourite topic of Milah's Facebook and her friends. Apparently, I am another hot topic besides her boyfriends and their interests.

Oh, I'm so famous!

I wonder what she will say if my body shapes like durian:P

Monday, September 20, 2010

sha: sharing is not caring


National Flag of Chilli
Originally uploaded by -RobW-
Raya Holiday is over for me. How about you? Most of us are returning to work today. Pending work is stacking up - so life saving colleagues are needed, less phone calls are required. Yes, folks. I know the feeling though I'm not expecting that much from my side:)

Being a Malaysian has taught us to be kind to others. Of course, that is a general statement from me - I'm excluding the part that some of us are too kind to kill and burn their guests on zincs (Al-Fatihah to the victims). Not to mention loving mothers who threw their babies out of car window or anywhere else. Bravo~! When there's a hero, there'll always be the villain:)

And being a human on this earth has always taught us not to expect too much. Some people can sell fish...sorry, be selfish about their own beliefs; they tend to show disrespect by not thinking about the consequences. The ambitious Terry Jones, for example, has shown us that determination and spirit were the keys to success (in his own way). We were lucky that our Holy Quran were not burned during Ramadhan. Alhamdulillah.

Well, we agreed that this Syawal was the most controversial - people will still read newspapers and watch the news during a festive season, don't we?

Talking about kindness, I'm sure that most of us would want to bring some of our chicken rendang, kuah kacang, or even tart gulung to work today. With the spirit of Hari Raya, you thought that sharing is caring.

But I also told you not to expect too much. Why? Someone told me this when I asked about Raya dish last week:

"Tak payahlah bawak. Saya tak makan pun. Awak masak pedas sangatlah!"

Hahaha. I told you, folks.

This Raya is the most controversial:)

Sunday, September 19, 2010

if only: head of kepala taugeh

Someone used to tell me how awful her Indonesian maid was. The first time the maid cooked for the family, she cooked fried anchovies with mung beans (Goreng Ikan Bilis dengan Kacang Hijau). The boss complained to me about how stupid the maid was; how weird it felt to have mung beans served with rice for dinner and how less delightful her dinner has been.

Guess what?

I thought the person who was supposed to be called stupid was that person who called her maid stupid. In the first place, having a maid in a house was not that easy. Cross-cultures differences would certainly make things a little bit awkward in the beginning. Secondly, I had always thought that the people who didn't know how to be thankful were idiots. And lastly, a woman who refused to cook for her husband and left everything to a maid might as well born as a man. Why complained when you could do it yourself, right?

Well, on the other hand, I couldn't blame that stupid woman. The person was just trying to be a someone important called...

A BOSS.

We have to admit that not all bosses are smart and kind. Some might be kind but stupid. Some might be stupid but kind. Some might be mean hearted and stupid at the same time. I have been working for five years - I could count the smart and kind bosses with my two fingers so far. Who are they? Aaaaa....let that be a secret, okay!

And it is no surprise that I might be in the portrait of a stupid and mean hearted boss to my staff. I mean, everyone wants to think that they are great - pretty, powerful and powderful at the same time. As a head of kepala taugeh, I might be too crunchy to bite!;)

Alaaaaa...head of kepala taugeh je! Not the Head of Big Conglomerates! Imagine the taugeh kasar that few people like. Big head, yellow, crunchy and salty. That might be me.

But, at least I'm nutritious. Just like the mung beans cooked by the Indonesian maid.

At least, in my opinion, I'm not at the standard of Head of Kepala Udang:)
Where you just talk and talk, being the empty vessels, carry your files everywhere, claiming that you're good, staring at your laptop as if you have the most important case to settle. But it ended up that you were fishing for girls in Facebook or Tagged. Hehe.

Another day to go before Sha is going to meet her boss after 2 weeks. Wooww...how I wish that I'm still on leave! Or let my boss be on leave forever? Hehe. But my banker needs the payment for the Suzuki Swift. So, I have to work. And....being my friends might have taught you that my work is all I have.

Head of Kepala Taugeh....or Head of Kepala Udang...
"U get what you put in...and people get what they deserve,"said Kid Rock.

Selamat bekerja, folks!

Friday, September 17, 2010

orkid's cafe: gulai nangka ikan sushi


Gulai Nangka Daun Salam
Originally uploaded by mat_gebu
A day before my aunts and uncles were coming to our house, one of my aunties called me and asked about the menu. Ibu and I were planning on Gulai Pisang Muda and other traditional dishes. In our opinion, people will eat more meat than ever during festive season, so cooking some "almost vegetarian" dishes will make some difference.

But my aunt was asking if we could prepare some Gulai Nangka. I told ibu and she was ecstatic. When I reached home that evening, we went to the market to find some jack fruit/nangka muda. But we couldn't find any. So we went there the next morning.

The market was quite a mysterious place. Whenever we wanted to cook that particular ingredient, it was hard to find it. Out of more than 10 vegetable stalls I found in the Pasar Besar, only one stall sold nangka muda and we had to fight for it as there were several buyers for such limited stock~!

We were lucky. Not only we won the battle over the purchase of the nangka muda, we also managed to cook it well. In the afternoon, when my relatives were coming over to our house, they ate the food with delight. Even though we couldn't stop cursing the authorities for no water supply in Seremban on Malaysia Day, the day was consider a success.

The most important thing that day was "rezeki murah". I love to have guests in our house especially family:)

The traditional menu that we cooked that day reminded me of a conversation that I had a day before the visit.

Milah: Sha....tau tak satu benda pasal Salmah?
Me: Haaa...kenapa?
Milah: Salmah, kalau makan jaga standard sikit.
Me: Yeke? Jaga standard macam mana?
Milah: Dia tak suka makan kat tempat sebarangan. Rasanya kat mamak pun dia tak makan.
Me: Eh...yeke?
Milah: Yup.
Me: Kenapa?
Milah: Entahlah. Dia tak suka makanan tak sedap. Kalau tak sedap, dia takkan makan langsung. Macam kita, cuba jugak untuk makan. Tapi dia particular...

I smiled.

Remembering the typical Javanese name of Salmah's father made me laughed in my heart. Milah had once told me that sushi was Salmah's favourite dish and how particular she was if we were bringing her to a disfavoured place. Gulai Nangka Ikan Sushi?

Should I invite Salmah for raya, then?

My relatives who were eating Gulai Nangka Ikan Masin, Sambal Tumis Udang Dengan Petai, Ulam Daun Selom dengan Kacang Botor, Terung Telunjuk dengan Ikan Bilis Goreng Cili Api and Lala Goreng Cili yesterday were studying abroad. They were successful people with kampong as their root.

But they didn't care.

Salmah, will certainly care.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

if only: the innocent mizzorchid

Originally uploaded by LoulaM
Guest_mizzorchid: hmm...lawa baju ian nieh
Guest_mizzorchid: beli kat mana?
Guest_IanMess: kt sogo
Guest_IanMess: ada sale tadi
Guest_mizzorchid: oohhh...sogo...
Guest_mizzorchid: turun kl tak cakap orkid yeee...
Guest_mizzorchid: bagus...bagus...
Guest_IanMess: hahaha
Guest_IanMess: mane leh
Guest_IanMess: kang jmpe kang.. oked xnk balik umah nnt
Guest_mizzorchid: cett...
Guest_mizzorchid: ian bukan asal dari lombok kan?
Guest_mizzorchid: hehehehe...
Guest_IanMess: -.-
Guest_IanMess: asal jb le
Guest_IanMess: nape ckp lombok?
Guest_mizzorchid: org lombok ramai culik minah2 malaysia...
Guest_mizzorchid: bawak balik negeri...
Guest_mizzorchid: ian tak baca paper ke?
Guest_IanMess: baca psal sosila tu je
Guest_IanMess: hehe
Guest_mizzorchid: ooo...
Guest_mizzorchid: so what do u think....pasal sosila tuh..
Guest_IanMess: hmm
Guest_IanMess: i mmg x brape berkenan dgn dia
Guest_IanMess: psal citer dia ngn nash dulu
Guest_mizzorchid: apasal plak?
Guest_IanMess: sbb dia citer hal rumah tangga live kt tv
Guest_IanMess: psal keburukan suami
Guest_IanMess: thts not a good thing
Guest_mizzorchid: hmmm...so nak buat camne?
Guest_mizzorchid: kalau dah macam tu?
Guest_mizzorchid: i mean, we're not in their position, right?
Guest_IanMess: yup
Guest_IanMess: but dont need to tell private stuff on tv la
Guest_IanMess: aib tu
Guest_mizzorchid: hmmmm....
Guest_IanMess: bila suami soh pakai tudung, tutup aurat
Guest_IanMess: dia tengking balik
Guest_IanMess: haha
Guest_mizzorchid: mana ian tau dia tengking?
Guest_mizzorchid: oooo...skodeng ek?
Guest_mizzorchid: hehehe...
Guest_IanMess: nash citer
Guest_mizzorchid: hah?
Guest_IanMess: pas dia live kt tv
Guest_IanMess: wartawan kan cari nash
Guest_mizzorchid: hmmm...
Guest_IanMess: kt melody nash terangkan
Guest_IanMess: so .. sendri mau ingt
Guest_mizzorchid: tapi...kalau macam tu, diorg nieh 2 x 5 jelah kan?
Guest_mizzorchid: masing2 cerita keburukan masing2...?
Guest_IanMess: kalau takde yg nyalakan api.. tak terbakar hutan rimba
Guest_IanMess: nash sbb wartawan sme dah kejar dia.. sbb sosila citer psal dia kt whi
Guest_IanMess: so nak xnk kene defensive aa
Guest_mizzorchid: :)
Guest_mizzorchid: baru orkid tau....
Guest_mizzorchid: layan gossip jugak ian nieh?
Guest_IanMess: layan je
Guest_IanMess: haha
Guest_IanMess: eleh oked xkn xlayan
Guest_IanMess: xD
Guest_mizzorchid: orkid nieh pemalu...tak layan gossip
Guest_mizzorchid: hahaha
Guest_IanMess: lerr
Guest_IanMess: org pemalu x layan gosip ke?
Guest_IanMess: -.-
Guest_IanMess: mane ade cmtu
Guest_mizzorchid: haha
Guest_mizzorchid: takdelah...orkid cakap je...

One thing that Sha is not telling you these days - she starts to chat again. Knowing strangers in cyberworld without even wanting any real world connection. Playing dress up in nice clothes, wandering around the beaches, sitting on the moon, lying on the leaf of water lily plant.

Being Mizzorchid.

Sounds ridiculous? Well, I met ridiculous people, I tell you. I met the ones who loved cybersex a lot. I met lonely people who wanted attention, they did almost everything. I met the emos, the gothics, the punks, the lesbos and homos.

And I met human like Ian who didn't want anything - just a casual chat over simple matters.
This is what I like.

What I learned from Ian today is simple:
"Harimau mati meninggalkan belang, manusia mati meninggalkan nama."

Gossips..it will never be forgotten.
Especially to those who love it.
Even after you're gone.

Kan?

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

if only: the hot and spicy lawyeroni

Originally uploaded by high over happy
"Tak boleh!" my mum shook her head. I still remember her disgruntled face. She hated the idea. There was no way she would agree to my proposal.

"Tapi..." I tried to show her my reasons.

"Takde tapi!" she said.

And I was just gulping the lump in my throat. It tasted like tears. My ambitions went to ashes. I was a justice lover; and there was no way I could find justice!

Gone was the hope to be like the character in my favourite series and films.
Dark Justice.
LA Law.
Reasonable Doubt.
JAG.
Liar Liar.

The hot and spicy Demi Moore in Few Good Men!

Luckily the Good Wife was not in the air yet back then. AAhhhhhh....
*sighed like I just drank Eno Halia*

One fine day, I sat beside a simple looking lady in the bus. We were fighting the urge to sleep in the bus, so we had a chat. I found out that she was a lawyer - dealing with debt recovery; dealing with banks as clients. Co-incidentally, I was facing difficulties in dealing with staffs who were having financial problems. So, she was a good partner in the bus.

She was giving me advices when she asked,
"Sha, you tak minat jadi lawyer?"

I laughed.

"I tengok cepat je you faham Act. Tak pernah minat ke?" she asked again.

I answered, "Alaaa...setakat Employment Act yang memang kena baca sebab nak kerja tu bolehlah. Benda lain I tak pandai..."

And she smiled.

"Janganlah merendah diri. Look, kalau minat...teruskan. Mana tau boleh jadi profession you?"

And I laughed heartily. I shook the topic off my head. In my mind, I was imagining myself as the slim, hot and spicy Alicia Florick and the caring Will Gardner as my boss. Perrrgghhh....no more Betty Suarez.

That happened in Ramadhan. While I was munching ibu's Fried Macaroni in Syawal, I smiled to myself. I had always believe that I could find justice if I was a lawyer.

But these days, even lawyers killed people.

Not all lawyers are as charming as Will Gardner. So....
Stop dreaming, Sha. At least, my ambition burst into ashes. Not my body.

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

ramadhan diary: dia di perhentian


Bus
Originally uploaded by estan
All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something

I was there. Sitting and watching him while he laughed with others. I saw the grin on his face and I smiled.

Then I frowned. I saw her. With him. He was saying something to me and I watched her slipping her arms around his neck. Damn.

Hold on
Feeling like I'm heading for a breakdown
And I don't know why

I tried to smile and I sat on the couch nearby. They sat in front of me. He said something and he laughed. She laughed along. I couldn't pick up the words but I knew it was about me. Me. Me. Me.

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me

Then I saw them talking to others. And the others were looking at me. They were wearing red; they were in a ceremony. Just then, I realised that he was wearing red. A red songket.

I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking 'bout me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind

And I saw her red songket kebaya. The girl in lace was whispering to her while she looked at me. I heard her. She was talking about him and me. But as I said, I couldn't grasp the words properly.

And the moment all those people started to laugh, I started to cry. They were all laughing at me. And he was laughing too. And he hugged her. Tightly. In front of me. My tears were pouring down like the rain. My shoulders shook with sobs. No. I knew I was not supposed to be there. But laughing at me? Well, that was certainly too much.

"Jangan buat Sha macam ni...." my voice broke.

Then I heard....

"Awak....?" the sound of the voice was different. And I felt someone touching my shoulder.

And I opened my eyes.

I was in the bus. The first thing I saw was a man's confused face. I looked through the window and I saw Ampang Park.

I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away...

"Awak mengingau..." he smiled. The other passengers smiled knowingly. Or shall I say sympathetically?

I touched my cheeks and they were wet with tears.

Well, folks...

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell...

Sha was having her nightmare. Even when she was sleeping in the bus.

* Lyrics: Unwell by Matchbox 20