Tuesday, July 26, 2011

sha: beristinjak di singapura

Old tempayan by m.i.a.k
Old tempayan, a photo by m.i.a.k on Flickr.
My brother is passionate about football and I'm sure he would love to read this posting. He turns 25 today and I'm still wondering whether he had ever grown up. He is still quarreling about his undies with the other brothers yet he earns as much as I do. Well, of course. Oil and gas industry pays more:)

Last week, he went to Singapore with his friends. Why was that? I bet you already knew the reason. Despite his hectic schedule, he won't miss a single Malaysian game. Unless, of course, when his boss is not around. I have always wonder why is it so important to watch Malaysian game. I mean, he is an Arsenal fan too, yet the intensity is not as strong as watching his own country plays against the opponents, including Arsenal itself.

Especially after Malaysian players got injured after the game against Arsenal.

When he came back from Singapore, he told us stories. Some was too funny to be listened to, some broke our hearts and some made us proud. For numerous reasons, he told us that he refused to spend a coin on The Lions land. He strongly believes that we have paid enough for Singaporean water and other expenses. And most importantly, he says that Malaysians are better cook.

Yes, we have reminded him that some of our relatives are Singaporeans but he shrugged it off by saying, "that's why you cook better than them."

So, imagine a situation when he wanted to go to the loo. Okay, what is our similarity when it comes to toilets? (regardless whether you're a Malay, Chinese or Indian). Most of us, use water. Let's recap the syllabus of beristinjak shall we?

Alat yang boleh digunakan untuk beristinjak ialah:
(i) air mutlak iaitu air sungai, air perigi, air mata air, air laut dan sebagainya
(ii) benda-benda yang keras dan kesat seperti batu, kayu, kertas, daun dan lain-lain.

My brother only found tissue papers. Yes, just like in the tv. And he needed water. So, he tried to get some water and unfortunately (he didn't describe in detail), he couldn't get some. Because there was no rubber hose nor gayong!

So, what he did was...
1. Asked for plastic cups from the person who sold drinks.
2. Poured the water into the cup
3. Finished the business.
1. It was not darurat.
2. Where got batu, kayu and kertas at the stadium? Singapura kan negara bersih! Besides, if my brother beristinjak using the rock, then where could he throw them???

So he finished his emergency business even though Singaporeans were good business men. They charged him for the cup. IN DOLLAR!!! Hehehe. And I don't know how he paid them because he only have Malaysian notes.

But he left us with a question, "If there is a Muslim who watched football regularly at that place, how does the person istinjak? And how does he pray?"

Okay, so he finished with his business. And he went into the stadium with his noisy friends. Obviously, I was not surprise to see that he is joining the loud crowd. When he was little, we called him LETER which means talkative. For us, he is putting his LETERness towards a good cause. Being and Ultras Malaya - who sings 24/7 and act like hyperactive child suits him well. At least he knows what he is doing.

Unfortunately, my brother, LETER, could not sing that well that day. Why was that? He told us that their favourite giant flag stated "100% PURE MALAYSIAN" was confiscated by the party who mentioned that the flag was provocative. (Qiu Li was in fact a Singaporean by document, so what else can we say?) In fact, they were warned not to sing."No chanting...no chanting!!!" (Jangan nyanyi!!!)

The person who said that was a Malay. Well, not only the istinjak part was wonderous, the instruction of not to sing was miraculous.

I started to ask..."Pernah dengar simpulan bahasa," mulut tempayan boleh ditutup, mulut orang?"

400 Ultras were there chanting their songs. It looked barbaric, kampung, macam monyet atas pokok, but so do people in Malta, Italy or England. Eleh...when MU datang, all of the sudden you sang Glory Glory, meh? Or You'll Never Walk Alone for Liverpool. How to close thousands of people's mouth? Guna tudung saji?!

Come on. Don't be hypocrite. You can afford not to beristinjak even though it is a must. You have English as your educational medium. That's why you don't know the meaning of mulut tempayan! Melayu apa kau nieh?!

Well, what else can I say. They say they are not Malay. They are Singaporean. And same goes to my favourite actor.Pusing-pusing pun...in the end, Sha adalah peminat Aaron Aziz dari Singapura. Hahahaha.My question, beristinjak ke?

Oooopsss...that's why we are looking at talent kan? Talent is everywhere and they have proven that:P


~ Cik Azz ~ said...

tempayan lama kat rumah akak yg ada gambar naga timbul tu dah pecah dah.. sayang betul.. huhu..

Pocket said...

use the tissue,
remove most of the 'dirt'

then use your finger as a rock,
wash it with that water source LETER found.
keep on doing that until both the location (The part to clean and the finger) is clean.

do that or buy yourself a mineral water from Johor. :D
an expensive 'cebok' kan..
cost u 3 ringgit to clean yourself :D

Kaca Mata Shahmi said...

huhuhu..masalahnya..b4 masuk stadium diorg dh rampas all mineral bottles yg kite bawak...so mn nk cekau mineral water.???

Amieynna said...

haha.. tergelak kite baca entry ni.. sebab pernah melaluinya..
bukan kite but arwah adik kite.. apa yg kite buat ialah belikan air mineral.. tp terbeli yg sejuk punye.. hahaha.. kesian die..

Car Freak said...

XD singapore2. macam2 hal diorang.