Monday, September 12, 2011

eau de toilette: conversation with diarrhea

lilac tea by Lilydove & Chou Chou
lilac tea, a photo by Lilydove & Chou Chou on Flickr.
"The journal Medical Record reported in 1905 that a toilet water spray restores energies lost in business, social, and domestic situations."
-wikipedia on Eau de Toilette

My situation today did not permit me to improve the lost in business, social and domestic situation. The reason being was because of lack of toilet water that I could flush from the toilet bowl. Meet my new friend. Her name is Diarrhea.

So, let's read our meeting minutes today.

12:00 a.m

Diarrhea: Hi Sha!
Sha: Hi...who are you?
Diarrhea: My name is Rhea...and for the next 10 hours you are going to face me.
Sha: I don't want to face anyone. I want to sleep!
Diarrhea: Tak boleh...kau, suka atau tak...kena stick together. Aku BFF baru kau!
Sha: Bila masa aku ada BFF? I'm not Paris Hilton!
Diarrhea: Kau Sha Seremban.
Sha: Tolong jangan kacau aku!Aku nak tido!
Diarrhea: Baik...kau marah ye! Nieh...penangan pertama aku...

Result: A toilet bowl full of Otak-Otak Kempas.


3:00 a.m

Diarrhea: Sha...ooooohh...Shaaaaaa...
Sha: Yeeeee...(I pulled up my fleece blanket)
Diarrhea: Bangun Sha...bangun...
Sha: Badan aku panas. Aku demam. Senyaplah.
Diarrhea: Meh aku cubit ko...

Proooottt...a sound and a smell emerged from behind.

Sha: Jangan main kotor boleh tak?
Diarrhea: You are going to get dirty, my dear...
Sha: Janganlaaaa...please...besok aku nak kerjaaaa...
Diarrhea: Habislah rekod MC kau besok Sha...
Sha: Shut up...

Result: Hours of farting and terkinciting...

05:00 a.m

Diarrhea: Shaaa...bangun...
Sha: Aku nak gi keje...diam!
Diarrhea: Ahahahaha...takleh...takleh..
Sha: Jangan kacau lah...
Diarrhea: Dah semalaman ko tak tido. Aku akan kacau kau dekat ofis pulak...
Sha: Huuhh..
Diarrhea: Cuba kau check tilam ko, kain batik ko...semua dah penuh taik...hahaha..
Sha: Sial...
Diarrhea: Jom...kita gi toilet...
Sha: Arrggghhh...
Diarrhea: Bau air toilet la kau Sha! Hahahahaa...


Result: Preeettt...the toilet couldn't be flushed anymore.

Well, I was annoyed. Of course. I sent a text message telling that I was going to be on MC for the first time. It turned out that my phone could not stopped ringing though I have sent what I needed to send. So much for the scolding that I just received few weeks ago. I called someone for an urgent matter and I was scolded. This morning, I refused to scold but I refused to talk either. At least if the person who scolded me was being a D&B, let's not follow the example. I was under medication and toilet was my sanctuary. DAMMIT~!

So, here I was...on the toilet floor...running my palms on my mouth before I...

BUWWWWWWEEEEEEEEKKKK....!!!

For I didn't know how many times.
The toilet didn't have lilac smell in it nor roses.

Who cares?

No one. Absolutely know one. And I can assure you tomorrow, that no one cares:)

Do you care about me?

* Sakit itu cuma ujian...

4 comments:

Pocket said...

adeh shaa... kamu sunggoh pandai menarik perhatian pocket,
now i'm having the urge to go and buy myself a pilchikittechaun :D

go slow sis, dont hurt yourself along the way :)

a kl citizen said...

semoga cepat sembuh sha...

~ Cik Azz ~ said...

Kalau dah tak boleh flush, kono la angkek baldi jirus kek lubang tu... hehehe...

Dah baik dah kan... :D

Adila said...

ehehehe~
boleh terbayang2

you're ok now?
btw the tudung yg u asked is called fareeda
i think fareeda is the brand je kot?