Malaysia Homestay Melaka House Rsv 012-2501262 / 017-8801698, a photo by HomestayMalaysia on Flickr.
They're all part of the list
Things that I miss
Things like your funny little laugh or the way you smile or the way we kiss
What I notice is this
I come up with something new every single time that I sit and reminisce
- Part of the List by Ne-yo
"Hmmmm...." I murmured lazily.
"Hang kalau nak husband...hang nak yang lagu mana?" she asked me.
"Lagu?" I asked stupidly.
"Nak yang macam mana?" she corrected herself quickly.
"Hmmm...cakaplah nak macam mana! Lagu...lagu...aku tak tau lagu-lagu nieh. Lagu rock aku tau," I grinned at her miserable face. Our dialect barrier has became quite serious.
"Dah macam tu cara aku bercakap, Chery..." she grumbled.
"Dah macam tu jugak cara kau panggil aku! Chery...Chery...orang panggil aku Sha la. Kau panggil aku Chery kat UNITEN ni siapa kenal..."
"Dah aku kenai hang nama Chery. Mana aku tau nama hang nieh sebenarnya Sha..." she protested.
Bawang Pink. That was her cyber name. Cheryna. That was my cyber name. Imagine two virtual friends became real friends after few years of addressing each other the name which was not stated on our IC.
...I was Chery to her. And she was Pink for me. I was a Doctor Love in her mind. She was a Doctor something else in my mind. We got to know each other in a forum; and we were totally strangers. But things changed when we met each other in person. She was my junior who was my age; so things got a bit complicated when it came to friends. Her friends were calling me Chery and my friends were calling her Pink. But when they wanted to address us in my public, nobody knew who were Chery and Pink. Or Pink Chery. They only knew Sha and Dilla. Different...it was too different.
But we managed. Who said cyber friends could not be friends in real world?
And that made it less surprising when she asked me that question that evening. It was cold with rain pouring outside. We were talking nonsense - about how lonely it would be to sleep along under certain condition. Okay, let's not elaborate, shall we?
"Kau nak tau ciri-ciri apa pulak kali ni?" I asked.
"Aku terkejut, Chery..."
"Apa yg nak terkejut?"
"Hang...kapel dengan orang Terengganu. Aku terkejut," she said.
"Hang gelak! Hang tak cakap siapa pun...tiba-tiba ada boyfriend. Aku tak kenai pon dia?"
"Aku tak cerita orang. Lagipun tiba-tiba nak jadi je. Aku pun terkejut, " I explained.
"Dah confirm ka hang dengan dia?" she asked.
"Serius?! Macam mana..." she didn't finished her sentence.
"Entah...tiba-tiba. Aku rasa sebab dia cam best pulak bila pakai kain pelekat."
Then she laughed.
"So, hang dapat la hero kain pelekat hang?!" she exclaimed.
"Hang memang nak sangat lelaki yang tau ikat kain pelekat kan!"
"Memang laaa....dia budak kampung, Pink. Takkan tak reti..."
"Bukan macam mamat KL kat UNITEN ni...betoi?" she assumed. I nodded.
"Tapi...ntahlah Pink...kadang aku takut sebab tu je aku suka dia..." I let out a heavy breath.
"Awal lagi ni. Aku tak tau...betul ke tak aku suka dia. Kalau ikutkan...macam kena....tapi..." I stopped.
"Okay...okay...hang suka lelaki yang suka muzik. Dia suka muzik?" I nodded.
"Pandai pakai kain pelekat?" I nodded.
"Belajar kos lain...tak sama dengan hang?" Again.
"Tak hensem..." I grinned.
"Orang jauh..." Wider grin.
"Kuat makan...?" I laughed.
"Semua hang dah dapat kan, Chery..." she concluded.
"Tapi...itu aje ke yang aku nak, Pink?" I asked her back.
"Chery...." she muttered a worried tone.
"Berapa lamalah nak kekal agaknya? Aku sendiri tak tau apa aku rasa..."
And we were silent after that.
Eight years have passed. My relationship did not work out as expected. The doubts that I felt that night was never reduced. We ended it a year after. And...I did not realised how happy I was when I realised that it was supposed be ended that way. If only I gave chance to that relationship to continue last time, I would have never found a person whom I loved more than I loved him.
I looked at the tiny clams in my hands. They were everywhere around me. In the sand. I dug some the sand with one finger and found another one. And another one. And another...another...another...
Eventually I got a basket of it. Nice. I had never dreamed of such situation in my life. I was collecting remis at my cousins' backyard in Malacca!
Kuala Sungai Baru. The last time I visited the beach behind my cousin's house was during her wedding. It was like ages ago; when I was wearing purple kebaya which belonged to my late grandma and ate sambal kupang as a wedding dish. That was the time when I have decided that I wanted a kampong boy as my husband.
I had badly wanted a kampong wedding, with kampong wedding dish and kampong ambience. At the time I was checking out the crabs in baskets sold at RM8 per kilo, I had determined that a man with solid kampong background was what I was eyeing for. And I said, yes, I should be following my cousin's path. I could ride a bike with him. Or walk on the beach. Or dig for remis.
Ceehh...hopeless romantic la konon!
That was how I eventually made the wrong decision by accepting a boy that I did not truly loved.
My cousin was very lucky. She got married when she was 21 years old. Her husband was 32. We thought that she was too young to marry but she proved us wrong. She has accomplished so much in her married life which I believe was not easy for everyone. Pursuing her study while raising three healthy and beautiful children were not easy but she made it.
She was an iron lady with a great man behind her success.
And I...learned from my great experience that not all kampong boy was the same. Not all kampong boy would go and find ikan pari for her wife's family. Not all kampong boy would sacrifice his time to bring them to the beach and collect small clams or drove around the village to show beautiful scenery.
Not all kampong boys were as sincere and as patient as the one we knew for the past 12 years.
Well, I could have never been happier the moment we put the fresh remis in our plates in the evening; ate those like kuaci with the whole family. Alhamdulillah...that was the best rezeki for the day. And the happiest moment ever. I could never stopped smiling, knowing that my cousin was one of the wisest person who knew how to judge a person without ever classifying them into groups!
Unlike me who was too judgmental when I was young. How naive. How foolish!
Never mind. Learning is a lifetime experience. Right?
To Kak Emy and Abang Selan (and my lovely nephews and niece),
Thanks a lot. The memories that I had last week was too valuable to be shared (but I put some of those here, knowing it should be shared). Alhamdulillah, we were really happy last week and thanks a lot for fulfilling ibu's wishes. With deep gratitude, we wish your family happiness and good health, wealth and insya-Allah...with more and more rezeki from Allah.
We loved the fact that Kak Emy cooked such an excellent asam pedas for us. Waaa....when I was small, I have never thought that there would be a day when things were so beautiful. But my dearest cousin made it happened. Thanks again Kak Emy...
Years ago, when I was such a daydreamer, I thought things were as simple as just to choose. But you made me realised that open heart and sincerity were the most important thing to gain happiness. (ceh, I made my Kak Emy sounded like Aristotle now).
Haaaaii....Kak Emy is so lucky. She married a Kuala Sungai Baru guy and get to see remis everyday. Anything special to see if I choose a guy from Shah Alam?
Kerang rebus kedai tom yam adalah:(
p/s: P. Ramlee said to Tompel, "Jodoh, ajal, rezeki..semuanya di tangan Tuhan. Bukan di tangan bapak!"